Legend of Zelda Dare Show
by ZeldaMimiLinkAndLeia
Summary: Welcome to The Legend of Zelda Dare Show, a place where YOU help create the story without the trouble of writing it! Here, your most absurd ships become a reality, revenge is inflicted on that annoying boss you struggled to defeat, and so much more! You'll love reading this hilarious, very random, timeline and Fourth Wall-breaking story! (Thanks, Rainbowaly03, for the cover!)
1. Chapter 1 - Intro

*There is nothing but a dark room with all the LoZ characters*

Zelda: What's going on?

Hylia: I don't know. Who said that? Your voice is somewhat familiar…

Zelda: Give me a sec… *Takes out her refulgent light arrow* HYLIA?!

Hero's Shade: And I thought that I'd be able to finally rest in peace…

Link: *stares*

Hero's Shade: Son! You're here too!

Postman: Oh, Link, I have a letter for y-

*door slams open and spotlight appears, revealing a teenage girl with straight brown hair, brown eyes, a face that very slightly resembles Zelda's, jeans, a Link t-shirt from the Symphony of the Goddesses, and tennis shoes.*

?: WELCOME TO THE FIRST EVER LEGEND OF ZELDA DARE SHOW! There are many dare shows, but I'm pretty certain that this the first ever dare show about LoZ. Call me Zelda! I'm the host.

Princess Zelda: …But that's my name!

ACZelda: Oh, right. To prevent confusion, call me ACZelda. Anyway, you guys must be confused due to the lack of dare show fanfictions in Hyrule or wherever you come from. Let me explain: the readers tell you to do something or for something to happen to you, and you have to obey! And it's rarely going to be enjoyable for you… *evil grin*

Demise: ...And why should we listen to you? *Beep* this, I'm out. *Starts walking to the door*

ACZelda: Because I'm the author. I can do what I want. *points at Demise, causing him to fly back to his seat and slam against the ground*

ACZelda: Luckily, we already got some dares! I'll see you in chapter 2.

Everyone else: *groan*

ACZelda: Oh, I almost forgot! We have a few co-hosts. Meet Leia!

*A slightly taller girl with cinna-bun hair walks in. She looks a bit similar to ACZelda. She is wearing glasses and a shirt reading 'Han shot first'. She also has white boots with a small wedge heel.*

Leia: Hey guys! Honestly, I'm a bit out of my element here, but I was told that we were coming to see another princess. Hello, Princess Zelda, is it? My friend is such a huge fan of your's, you have no idea-

ACZelda: *Coughs* Not the time Leia, and besides, the character I fangirl the most over is someone else.

Leia: Sorry. *Winks at Zelda and mouths "Link fangirl"* Anyway, I have a thing for truth or dare. Normally, I'm the one making dares, but last time that didn't end so well. Chewie was pink for a week. So I'll let fan-er, ACZelda over here do the talking. See you in chapter two!

ACZelda: We also have another co-host but I don't see her anywhere... Well, we'll move on without her.


	2. Chapter 2 - Let the Torture Begin!

ACZelda: Welcome back to the dare show! As promised, chapter 2 has been released rather quickly. Now let's start the dares! *grabs dare cards*

ACZelda: Our first dare goes to Link!

Link: O.O *Mouths 'No'*

ACZelda: Don't worry, it's only for convenience. It's my own dare to let you talk! After all, you have said some things in some games.

Link: Thank Hylia it's nothing bad!

ACZelda: Our next dare, this time from a helpful Google+ friend, is once more for our once speechless hero. Go in that room. *points at door*

Link: I have a bad feeling about this…

ACZelda: You should. Meet Cutie **()**. *points at an adorable chicken in the room*

Link: Ha! You can't trick me! I know what these are! I won't hurt it, so it won't hurt m- *trips over cucco*

Link: AAAAAAAAAAAH, it was an accident!

ACZelda: *Slams and locks door* While he's doing that, Ghirahim! Zant! You guys are next!

Ghirahim and Zant: Oh no.

ACZelda: You two get to swap outfits! *snaps fingers*

Ghirahim: UGH! Have you no sense of style?! WHAT IS THIS HORRENDOUS… STUFF? And these shoes!

Zant: I know! How could you stand to wear this skin-tight suit for so long?

Ghirahim: *Speechless while it sinks in* WHY YOU LITTLE-

Leia: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!

Zant: *screeching*

Ghirahim: *shouting*

ACZelda: GUYS! BREAK IT UP!

Leia: *Groans* Aww but they haven't even started-

ACZelda: No, Leia, were moving on because we have some more dares. Zelda, go kiss Shadow Link. And he can talk, too.

Zelda: But… Link… Oh, it won't be too bad… After all, they look similar. *quickly kisses him on the cheek*

Shadow Link: I could get used to thi-

Zelda: *slaps him* THAT IS FOR ALMOST KILLING MY PRECIOUS HERO!

Shadow Link: OW! What the-

Link: *Muffled screaming* AAAAAAAAH! LET ME OUTTA HERE!

Leia: *Laughing hysterically* No, don't this is too funny.

ACZelda: *Glares* Hmm… I think we can let him out now. *opens door*

Link: *falls out covered in scratches and feathers* Never… Again…

Leia: Hey Link, Shadow Link and Zelda kissed!

Link: WHAAAAT?! *Stomps towards Zelda*

Zelda: *Glares at Leia* I was forced to do it! Don't blame me!

Link: *Pushes Zelda out of the way and tackles Shadow Link who was hiding behind her*

Everyone else: *Grabs popcorn*

Leia: *Whispers to Zelda* 20 rupees say your boyfriend goes down first.

Zelda: *Whispers back* 900 rupees that Link wins.

Leia: *Smirking* You're on, Princess.

Link: HA! *Stands over an unconscious Shadow Link* That's for Zelda!

Zelda: *Smiles at Link and whispers to Leia* Pay up.

Leia: *Whispers back* Yah, but Emo went down first. You pay up.

Zelda: HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND!

Everyone else: *grabs more popcorn*

ACZelda: One last dare!

LoZ characters: *Drop popcorn and start praying to Din, Farore, and Nayru*

Goddesses: *Praying to each other*

Leia: *Takes last of popcorn and offers some to ACZelda* Can I make them suffer? Please?

ACZelda: *Ignoring Leia* Don't worry, guys! It's from me for everyone to give the Hero's Shade a hug. He needs it.

Everyone: *Hugs him*

Hero's Shade: Oof… I'm kinda suffocating here… Help?

ACZelda: You're a ghost. Ghosts don't suffocate.

Leia: Coming from someone who knows, like, four ghosts, that is very true.

ACZelda: Ok, that's it for today!

Everyone: *sigh of relief*

ACZelda: I'll see you in chapter 3! Bye! *Leaves*

Mimi: *rushes in* Oh man! Oh man! Oh man! ACZelda's gonna be so mad at me! I'm running late! Are the dares over?

Leia: Yah, you missed all the fun. There was hugging, a chicken with breathtaking anger management issues, a fashion show, Zelda kissed Emo over there *Nods to still unconscious Shadow Link* and, like, 1.75 fights. You would have loved it.

Mimi: What!? NOOOOOOOOOOOO! THIS CAN'T BE TRUE! D':

Leia:*Pats head and steers her out of the room* Don't worry, I wasn't that good. There wasn't even any pink dye involved! No pink ninja suit, no pink wookie, nothing!

Mimi: But still… D:


	3. Chapter 3 - 4th Wall Jokes: The Begining

**Author's Note**

* * *

Zelda: IT'S FEBRUARY! You know what that means? THE LEGEND OF ZELDA 31ST ANNIVERSARY! YAY! So, of course, I'm gonna make a special! I'm not sure exactly what to do, though… Here are my ideas:

Turn everything into 8-bit, including the font

Make the characters go through the map of the first LoZ in a competition to collect as many heart containers as they can, the winner being whoever can defeat all the others in the end

Make the characters play the first LoZ then watch the newest BotW trailer

Please give me ideas in the reviews! I want to upload the special on the exact day of the anniversary. Don't worry, the chapters will continue like normal until that day. So… shall we begin chapter 3?

Oh, yeah. One more thing. Leia won't be here much because I got sick of waiting for her to come. Seriously, WHERE IS SHE?! I guess I'll find out later. But a new host (whose REAL name is the same as Leia's, btw) will be joining! The craziest one in our little team has come! Now, LET CHAPTER 3 BEGIN!

* * *

ACZelda: Hello and welcome back! And Mimi, WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?!

Mimi: I was writing my own story, Okay!?

ACZelda: I know, I saw, but still! YOU LITTLE TRAITOR!

ACZelda: Anyway, we got a few dares! Leia, help me out here! 90% of these dares are yours.

Leia: With pleasure.

Mimi: D':

ACZelda: Leia, take this. *hands her the evilest dares* Mimi, you can have these. *takes half of the remaining dares and gives it to her*

Mimi: :D

Mimi: Sorry, but I think I better work on my own fic. I'll be right back!

ACZelda: Fine, and I'll start. The first dare goes to Link! He has to... Oh… Um, Leia? Please tie up Zelda.

Leia: OK! *cowboy lassos Zelda then ties her onto a chair*

ACZelda: Meet CD-i Zelda.  
CD-i Zelda: *walks in and opens mouth to say something*

ACZelda: NOPE! *duct tapes her mouth* We'll have none of that stupidity here. Now go on a date with Link.

Link and Zelda: WHAAAT?!

Link: Ugh… Well, it can't be too bad… After all, she's gagged… Come on, let's go…

CD-i Zelda: Mph! Mmph mmmmmmmph mph, mmmmmmph! (Translation: Hey! Stop insulting meh, everyone!)

ACZelda: Give me a second… *walks to a door and shouts, "I HELPED TOO!" *waits* "DON'T FORGET LINK! SHE SAID SHE'D JOIN!"

ACZelda: Ok, sorry about that, I was just talking to Mimi. She's writing a fanfic called "Ninjago Misadventures." Check it out! It's funny! The name was my idea, btw. Reminder: all of our fics are on the same account. Anyway, the next dare, from Mimi's little sister, Yoshi, is for Groose to die by loftwing attack! Ok. THIS IS FOR BEING A JERK TO LINKY! *snaps fingers*

Zelda: Hey! Only I can call Link that!

ACZelda: Well, too bad!

ACZelda: *Hears something next door* I'll be right back again. *teleports Ghirahim-style*  
Groose: AAAH! GET THIS CRAZY BIRD OFF ME! *falls into a pit*

Mimi: *sticks her head into the room* Woah did I just hear my least favorite character die? :D

ACZelda: *teleports back to the dare show* Yay, you're back, Mimi! Moving on! THIS, Groose, is for your great character development. *snaps fingers again*  
Groose: *reappears, perfectly fine*

Mimi: D: One, dang it! Two, nooooooooooooooo spoilers! I HAVEN'T FINISHED PLAYING SKYWARD SWORD YET! DON'T SPOIL WHAT GROOSE DOES! :( I'm gonna go back to my room *exits*

ACZelda: HEY! I WASN'T GOING TO TELL YOU ANYTHING- Beep, she can't hear me. And the door is locked.

Random character: What was death like, Groose?

Hero's Shade: Hey! I'm a better source!

Poe: Ahem.

ACZelda: Shut up guys, because Yoshi inherited her older sister's hate for Tingle! Tingle, go throw your Tingle bottle in the trash.

Tingle: Ok! It's alright, Miss Fairy! I can always make more! Tingle, Tingle, KOOLOO LIMPAH! *throws bottle in trash*  
ACZelda: She also wants you to be miserable for the rest of your life, but let's compromise and shorten it to two chapters.

Tingle: … :_(

ACZelda: Ok, next dare! YES! WE GOT OUR FIRST REVIEW! It's… a tiny bit unfitting for this rating. Sorry, but I'll have to alter it a little for the 6-year-olds reading this. I may be exaggerating, but still! Zelda, go kick Link in between the legs. *unties her*

Link: *comes back from date alone* Whew, thank Hylia it's over!

ACZelda: … What did you do to CD-i Zelda?

Link: Oh, she's just hanging out.

*somewhere in the distance*  
CD-i Zelda: *tied to a tree by her feet and somehow ungagged* HEEY! SOMEONE! HELP ME GET DOWN FROM HERE!  
Random person: Shut up. *re-gags her*

*Back at the dare show*  
Zelda: Sorry Link… But this will hurt. A lot. *kicks him*

Link: OOOOOOOOOOOW! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?! THE DATE WAS ONLY A DARE!  
Zelda: Sorry! I'm so sorry! I was dared to do that, too!

*There's a sound behind the door ACZelda accidentally left open since the first chapter*

?: *rolls into room as a burrito in a blanket, then jumps out of the blanket revealing a teenager with brown hair with pink and blonde highlights, brown eyes, a gaming T-shirt from the internet, and fluffy boots*

ACZelda: Hey! IALink! You came!  
IALink: "IALink"?

ACZelda: Same story as to why I have "AC" in my name. We don't want people confusing you with him. *points at Link, who is still doubled over in pain* Oh, right. I better do something about that. *snaps fingers*

Link: *sigh of relief*

ACZelda: Oh, and there's a nice dare for you! *hands him a cake that says "Thanks for Saving Hyrule!" in frosting*

Link: Thanks! *shoves entire cake into his mouth* *tries to talk with his mouth full* Mmm, dish ish vewy gwood!

Everyone else: *stare jealously*  
ACZelda: There's more cake in the kitchen. The one Link had is homemade, but store bought cakes taste good, too!

Everyone except Link and ACZelda: *Races to the kitchen*

ACZelda: Uh, guys? *echo*

Link: Hey, AC, who dared me to have that cake?  
ACZelda: Oh, just a fangirl. *hides dare card with "from ACZelda" on it behind back*

*Arguing over the last slice is heard from the kitchen*

ACZelda: BREAK IT UP, PEOPLE! *runs to kitchen*

*awkward silence in the main room*

Link: ... *looks through a small hole in the fourth wall* Uh, nice day we're having! *cracks appear in the wall*

*shouting is heard from the kitchen*

*ACZelda dashes in with a slice of cake, followed by an angry mob*

ACZelda: *shoves cake into mouth* There! No more arguing! ...Hey, who broke the fourth wall? *tackled by the mob*

ACZelda: ENOUGH! *small explosion around Zelda, knocking everyone into their seats*

ACZelda: IALink? Leia? It's your turn to read the dares. Here, take this, IALink. *Hands her the cards Mimi would have used*

IALink: Link! Please come here for a second! (senpai notice me plz)

Link: Did you call me sempai, or was it my imagination?

All of the girls with a crush on Link: SHE DID! *tackles IALink*

ACZelda: HEY! Get off of her! *grabs Illia and Midna with each hand*

IALink: HALPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!

ACZelda: *Trying to hold a furious Zelda back*

IALink: Oh Hyrule, I'm screwed! *sprints with a blanket around neck*

ACZelda: *traps all girls with a cage made of magic* WAIT! IA LINK! COME BACK! ALL CLEAR!

IALink: *blanket wrapped protectively around her body like a burrito* Really? T^T

ACZelda: *points a TV remote at the girls slamming at the cage bars and presses the mute button* Yep, it's safe now!

IALink: *rolls out of corner* Yay! \^w^/

IALink: Okay! Since that madness is over, LINK! I HAVE A DARE FOR YOU FROM SOMEWHERE! ^w^/

ACZelda: Remember the cucco room?

Link: Oh, no. *face pales*

ACZelda: Don't worry, the cucco **()** is gone.

Link: ...What's the catch?

ACZelda: Well, we have a few fangirls there instead. I know two of them! Piper and G+Zelda from Google+ want to be there.

Zelda: WHY DOES EVERYONE STEAL MY WONDERFUL, ORIGINALLY UNIQUE NAME! THAT'S IT, I'M DONE! *slams the door to her bedroom)

Link: This dare isn't too bad.

ACZelda: One more thing! *snaps fingers and Link is wearing nothing but his Sheikah trunks from BotW*

Link: ...I'm screwed, aren't I?

ACZelda: Yes, yes you are. Also, meet Piper!

Piper: *Walks in* Hey there guys! I'm Piper and I... *Notices link, squeals, runs over, and hugs him* LOVE YOU!

ACZelda: And here's G+Zelda!

G+Zelda: Hello!I'm G+Zelda and I promise not to hurt you... *Evil grin emerges* At least, not too badly...

ACZelda: There's one last fangirl who'll be hanging out until the next dare!

*A brunette girl with soft blue eyes waved awkwardly, pushing her glasses into place*

?: Hey guys, I'm Grimm. Guess I'll spend the next dare with you. Alright, anything to help a good cause.

ACZelda: Welcome! And thanks for all the great dares you submitted! Chapter 2 wouldn't exist without you! And Link?

Link: *still awkwardly standing there wearing his BotW starting outfit* Yes?

ACZelda: You're forgetting something.

Link: Oh… Right. Where's the door to hel- I mean, the fangirl room? These trunks always come with memory loss.

ACZelda: *points*

Link: Um, thanks? *shakily walks to the room with Piper and G+Zelda following him*

ACZelda: *closes door*

Random fangirl: OMH, IT'S LINKY!  
Zelda: *from the room next door* HEY! Only I can call him "Linky"!  
ACZeda: HEY! Only I can use "Oh my Hylia"!  
Fangirls: *ignoring them*

Link: *bangs at the door* HEEEEEELP! THEY'RE GONNA TEAR ME APART!

Another random fangirl: YAAAAAAY! I GOT HIS HAIR TIE! THIS WILL LOOK SO GOOD IN MY ROOM!

Third fangirl: *hugs Link*

Fourth fangirl: *pulls the third fangirl off Link* STOP HUGGING HIM! HE'S MINE!

*fangirls start fighting violently*

Link: *realizes that the door is unlocked and sneaks out*

Random fangirl: Hey, where did Link-Sempai go?

*Back in the main room*

Link: Whew! I made it out alive! One more story to tell my future kids.

ACZelda: Speaking of future kids, you'll get to meet them soon! But first, Grimm has to fulfill her dare. *hands toon Link the Four Sword, causing him to split into four*

Grimm: Oh, right! *Kisses Vaati (human form) and Red on the cheek*

Vaati and Red: *Blushing furiously*

Shadow, Blue, Green, and Vio: Hey! Why does HE get a kiss, but not us?!

Toon Zelda: *looking slightly offended*

Zelda: Seriously… Another Zelda…

ACZelda: Relax, Links! You're the same person! Except for Shadow, who already got a kiss.

Shadow: That doesn't count! Grimm actually WANTED to kiss them! Zelda slapped me afterward!

ACZelda: Hmm, all this FS business makes me want to introduce my OC… But later! We're running out of time! *Points at a cool LoZ clock* And this chapter is getting pretty long.

*the Fourth wall cracks a bit more*

ACZelda: Honestly, I'm quite surprised that the fourth wall still exists. I guess that there's a different one for everything. Okay, so the final dare was previously mentioned! Link, Zelda, come here. It's time to meet your future kids.

*Magical magic and stuff!*

*A young kid, no older than 7 appears. He has Link's hair, Zelda's eyes, and is plain adorable*

Link and Zelda's son: ?

Link and Zelda: Awww, he's so cute! I love him!

ACZelda: To prevent time paradoxes, I better send him back now.

Zelda: *tightly hugging the little kid*

Link: *proudly looks at his son* You're gonna be a great little hero someday!

ACZelda: AHEM! Did you even hear what I said?

Link and Zelda: *ignoring her*

ACZelda: That's it, I'm sending him back without your consent. *sends him back to his own time*

Link and Zelda: What?! Nooo!

ACZelda: You'll see him again in a few years. But this chapter is pretty long, so I'll end it here. BYEE! See ya next chapter! Keep sending in those dares!

*chunk falls out of the Fourth Wall*

ACZelda: ...Oops.

Grimm: Bye! *squeezes through the hole in the fourth wall to return to the real world, causing it to crack more*


	4. Chapter 4 - Ganondorf Dares Galore

**Author's Note**

* * *

ACZelda: THE BRAZILIAN CARNAVAL IS STARTING SOON! Being mostly Brazilian myself, I simply cannot ignore this chance for a special chapter! It starts on February 24 this year. I'll upload the special the day before.

* * *

Link: *Just woke up and walks into the main room yawning, then a brick flies past his head, almost hitting him*

Link: AGH! What the- ACZelda? Leia? What are you doing?

ACZelda: *struggling to hold a brick in place in the largest hole in the fourth wall* I'm… Trying… To… Fix… *brick flies out, almost hitting Link again* THIS STUPID WALL!

Leia: Put them in the other way, you're doing it wrong! *Takes brick from pile*

Link: *hiding behind his Hylian shield* Why are you trying to repair it? The hole isn't that big!

ACZelda: Well, with all these fourth wall jokes, we're going to shatter it by Chapter 5! But it seems like only people and objects that come from the real world can exit the fictional world, and people and objects from the real world can only partially enter the fictional world. Like me! I'm in both worlds.

Leia: Same here. I'm actually from three worlds and this isn't one of them.

Link: ...I'm confused.

ACZelda: Stuff from fictional world can't leave fictional world. Stuff from real world must always be in real world. Better?

Link: Yeah, but I still have some questions. First, why are you trying to fix a glass wall with bricks?

ACZelda: It's a lot easier to use bricks. And bricks are harder to shatter.

Leia: Duh. Have you ever tried shattering a brick? Not easy _or_ fun.

Link: Second, can't you use bricks from the real world since it can exist in both worlds at once?

ACZelda: It's not that easy, and do I look like someone who has bricks in my pockets all the time- *remembers something and stares at something on the wall*

Leia: *Follows her gaze and starts laughing*

Link: What are you guys looking at?

ACZelda: *staring wide-eyed at the clock* HOLY DIN, THE DARE SHOW ALREADY STARTED! *Signals at the camera* CUT! CUT! STOP FILMING! I NEED TO GET READY! I'M STILL WEARING PAJAMAS!

Leia: And you look great, good job! *jazz hands*  
Link: *realizes that ACZelda is wearing Hylian Royal Crest pajamas* Hey, nice PJs!

Leia: *Looks down at her own outfit, is wearing long white pants and a loose green 'Team Loki' shirt. Poses for the fourth wall* LOKI'D! Today I'm Darcy!

ACZelda: SORRY, READERS! *A cracking noise is heard from the wall and ACZelda is seen dashing off before the camera fades to black*

* * *

ACZelda: Welcome back to the Legend of Zelda dare show!

Mimi: What's this brick doing here?

Link: *Opens mouth to say something*

ACZelda: Link, you saw nothing.

Mimi: But Link, you diiiiid! :3 What did she do- *can't talk*

Darcy: *Is now wearing a long black, green fringed shirt with a gold necklace and black pants. She has a gold scepter in her hands* She was fixing the fourth wall. I was helping. No shame.

ACZelda: *holding the remote control from earlier with the mute button pressed*

Leia: *Mouths 'Loki'd'*

ACZelda: Anyway, the first dare requires a few Kingdom Hearts characters! *summons Sora, who has spiked brown hair and a keyblade, and Kairi, who is a girl with brown hair and blue eyes*

KH Characters: Hi!

ACZelda: Link, this dare is for you! You have to fight Sora. Kairi will just be watching.

Link: Bring it on! *charges at Sora*

Kairi: *looks at Zelda* I bet 100 munny that Sora wins!

Zelda: I don't even know what "munny" is, but I bet 900 rupees that Link wins!

Darcy: *Offers popcorn to both of them* I'm betting that one of you loses your money. $20.

Kairi: Deal.

ACZelda: HEY! I muted you!

Darcy: LOL LOKI'D! I think you missed actually

ACZelda: Oh, I think I accidentally hit Mimi instead. Ok. *Eats popcorn* Screw you, Mimi.

Mimi: O.O

*a long time later*

ACZelda: *yawns and grabs the 30th bucket of popcorn* Sigh… hours have passed, and they're still fighting! When will someone win?! I guess they're evenly matched. GUYS! IT'S A DRAW! WE HAVE MANY DARES TO COVER AND LITTLE TIME! *snaps fingers, returning Sora and Kairi to their own world*

Zelda: Aww, you didn't give us enough time for Link to win! I wanted to see what that so-called "munny" looks like.

Darcy: Wait but if no one lost any money did I lose?

Zelda: Yup. Hand the $20 over.

Darcy: Well if Link would have won, she would have lost money. I don't have to pay 'cuz Link won.  
Zelda: That makes no sense, I still didn't lose anyt-

ACZelda: SHUT UP, GUYS! Our next dare is another fighting dare and- *facepalm* I completely forgot! There's a brand new room here at the dare show. Follow me!

*enters a fighting arena surrounded by enough chairs for all the characters to sit with room to spare*

ACZelda: From now on, all the battles will take place here! There's a popcorn stand in the back.

Everyone except for ACZelda and Darcy: *dashes to the popcorn stand*

ACZelda: Luckily, there's another fight dare, so we can test this arena! Ganondorf! Link! Get over here.

Ganondorf: Oh, no. I'm screwed.

Darcy: Ohh yahh lemme go get some popcorn. I'ma throw it at both of you.

Link: This will be fun! I beat him before.

ACZelda: There's a catch. Two, in fact. It's boxing.

Ganondorf: That catch isn't TOO bad.

Link: *fist pumps* I'm great at boxing! *looks at the stand and shouts towards two people* THANKS FOR THE TRAINING, BLAINO AND RICKY!

Blaino: You're da champ! You can beat dat guy!

Ricky: *Cheering* YOU CAN DO IT, BUDDY!

Ganondorf: HA! Trained by a talking ball and a kangaroo? Ooh, I'm SOO scared!

Link: *Angrily opens mouth*

Ganondorf: *Speaks before Link has a chance to retort* Hey, ACZelda, didn't you say that there were TWO catches?

ACZelda: Yep. *snaps fingers*

Link: *Wearing adorable pink bunny pajamas*

Ganondorf: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! XD What are you going to do, kill me with cuteness?

IALink: *walks into the room* OH MA HYLA, YOU ARE ADORABLE

Link: *Ignores her* Hey, who are you getting married to, Ganondorf?

Ganondorf: Nabo- Wait a second, why are you asking me this?

Nabooru: I AM **NOT** GETTING MARRIED TO THAT CREEP IN THE WEDDING DRESS!

Ganondorf: Wedding… dress? *Looks at himself* AAAH!

Link: *Trying not to laugh*

Darcy: *Laughing openly and throwing popcorn*

Everyone else: *chomping furiously on popcorn while watching intently*

Ganondorf: HOW DARE YOU LAUGH AT THE PRINCE OF DARKNESS! *Charges at Link, but trips over his dress*

Everyone: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ganondorf: *Tries to punch Link, but Link expertly avoids it*

Link: *Punches Ganondorf once, knocking him out* Huh, that was fast.

Demise: *Pays Hylia a large sum of rupees* DANG IT! I never would have thought that my (insert whatever theory you agree with here) would be so pitiful!

ACZelda: One more Ganondorf dare, but before I forget, *unmutes Mimi*

Mimi: FINALLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY :D

Darcy: Call out to the world, grl! #YOLO!

Mimi: *All of a sudden starts crying*

ACZelda: ...I honestly don't know what to say.

Darcy: Was it cause I said yolo? YOLO!

Mimi: BECAUSE THEY (spoiler alert for Nexo Knights!)******* TURNED CLAY TO STONE! D:

Darcy: That's nice

ACZelda: Oh, ok. Random. NEXT DARE!

Mimi: Heartless monsters…

Darcy: Respect your youngers!

Mimi: NEVAAAAAAAAAH

Darcy: *Tries to takes over mind with Scepter* Respect me, Mimi. Kneel

Mimi: Lol u have a glowstick *leaves to next door*

Darcy: Dammit

ACZelda: Hey, I didn't watch that episode of Nexo Knights, and I'm the oldest here! Besides, we're running out of time, so SHUT UP, guys. Ganondorf! WAKE UP! *steps into the arena and starts shaking him*

Darcy:*Throws popcorn at him* COME ON THE BUNNY HIT YOU _ONCE_!

Ganondorf: *still unconscious*

ACZelda: *dumps a bucket of freezing water on him*

Ganondorf: AAH! *wakes up*

Darcy: I'm not even going to say it! *Winks at camera and mouths 'Loki'd'*

Ganondorf: ...Say what?

ACZelda: Shut up, because today is a Ganondorf dare marathon! Here, read this. *Gives him a GanLink lemon fanfic*

Ganondorf: *After reading it* I need new eyes. I need a new life. I need a new everything...

Leia: I feel your pain, except when I read stuff that involved me, I actually got a date out of it so… *Poses holding scepter like a jazzy cane*

ACZelda: Maybe we can whack the memory out of you, Ganondorf.

Ganondorf: I have a bad feeling about this…

ACZelda: Link, come here. *snaps fingers, splitting him into all his different incarnations*

Links: Now what?

ACZelda: I'm going to summon a smash ball from SSB. All of you need to break it and use your final smash on Ganondorf. And he can't do anything about it.

Ganondorf: Oh, no.

Links: *evil grins*

*A lot of "Hyaahs!" and flashy triforces later*

Ganondorf: Ugh, I now know the true meaning of pain. And… I still remember...

Darcy: *Pats head* It's okay, big guy. I know a giant too, but he's normal sized and sometimes he's blue and kinda a god so he doesn't really get hurt like all you mortals.

Ganondorf: I AM THE (insert the theory you support here) OF DEMISE, THE GOD OF EVIL! I AM NOT MORTAL! WHEN SOMEONE TRIED TO EXECUTE ME, I PULLED THE SWORD USED TO KILL ME OUT OF MY STOMACH AND KILLED MY EXECUTIONER WITH IT!

Darcy: YOU ALSO GOT ONE-SHOTTED BY A BUNNY **()**!

Ganondorf: WELL, SURE, BUT YOU'RE MORTAL!

Darcy: I'm an author. We don't die so long as our work lives on.

*Fourth wall cracks, causing ACZelda to say a long string of made-up curses*

Darcy: And we don't die period so yah. ACZelda, get the bricks.

Ganondorf: I have a bad feeling about this next dare…

Darcy: *Arm shoots up* MEMEME I have a good one for all my fandom buddies out there! Fandom hug. Pass it on.

ACZelda: *Carrying an armful of bricks* Ganondorf, shut up, it's not a dare. But I'll make it one, now that you mention it! Darcy, *returns fandom hug*

Darcy: GREAT! *Clears throat* Kneel before me. *No one moves* I said, *Bangs scepter on ground, catching everyone's attention* KNEEL!

ACZelda: Shut up, you didn't let me tell Ganondorf his next dare-

Ganondorf: NOOO! I HOPED YOU HAD FORGOTTEN!

ACZelda: You shut up, too. Now, see these bricks? Go repair that with 'em. *Points at first wall*

Link: *Remembers what happened earlier and hides behind his shield*

Ganondorf: ...Repair a glass wall… with bricks?

ACZelda: Don't ask. And everyone, RUN.

Link: I'd follow her advice.

Darcy: _Then_ can they kneel?

ACZelda: No one's kneeling for you.

Darcy: *Swears creatively and threatens her with scepter* I will use this.

ACZelda: No you won't, hush.

*everyone dashes behind a transparent wall that ACZelda summoned*

Ganondorf: Come on, what's so bad about bricks? *Tries to stick one into the hole*

*brick flies out and hits Ganondorf on the head so hard that the brick shatters*

Ganondorf: OW! What the *beep*?

ACZelda: *Passing out popcorn to the characters behind the transparent wall*  
*5 hours later*

Ganon: *Roaring and pounding a brick into the fourth wall*

*brick merges with the wall, turning into the same glass-like substance*

Ganon: *Turns back into his human form* Woah.

ACZelda: *Spits out hot chocolate and stares in shock* Woah. Now keep it up! Don't let the readers down!

*Large chunk falls out of Fourth Wall*

Ganondorf: ...You did that on purpose, didn't you?

ACZelda: Maybe… But this chapter is getting long, so we'll end it here. Bye! *everyone starts walking to their bedrooms*

ACZelda: Hey, Ganondorf, you stay here. You still have a wall to repair!

Ganondorf: *Curses in Hylian and returns to the wall*

ACZelda: Oh, one last thing.

*Bifrost activates. Standing there are the avengers, Loki, Deadpool, and Bucky*

Darcy: ACZelda, what is this?

ACZelda: Your fandom. You're welcome.

Darcy: No No No you are not dragging my precious fandom into this.

ACZelda: Why not?

Loki: What are you wearing?

Darcy: GET BACK IN THE BIFROST PEOPLE!

Tony Stark: Friday, Where are we?

Thor: I do not believe we are on Midgard anymore.

Black Widow: *Turns to Hawkeye* Is this Budapest?

Hawkeye: You and I remember Budapest very differently-

Darcy: Stop being so perfect leave before you're ruined! Also *Points to Tony and Steve* Stop fighting, it's breaking my heart. *Points to spider-man* Good luck joining the Avengers. *Points to Loki* Please make a movie based on you. *Points out black widow* You also need a movie. Ok, the rest of you are just about perfect, except for *Points at scarlet witch* Pietro lives.

*Bifrost activates*

ACZelda: Who was that guy wearing the same outfit as you?

Darcy: Go away, my fandom needs me *Bifrost takes her too* TO ASGARD!

 **Author's End Note/Mini Credits**

* * *

ACZelda: Leia/Darcy wrote that entire last bit. That's the most you've ever written at once in this entire dare show, Leia!

Leia: Thanks, ACZelda, I'm just glad Star Wars wasn't dragged in too...

ACZelda: Maybe you shouldn't have given me that idea… I am a Star Wars fan, too!

Leia: NO PLZ

ACZelda *looks at reader* Thanks for reading, and see you next chapter!

*Fourth wall cracks again*

ACZelda: HEY! NO FAIR! THIS IS THE AUTHOR'S NOTE!


	5. Chapter 5 - Darcy's Reign of Terror

ACZelda: *Sleeping*

Leia/Darcy: *Sleeping*

Mimi: *watching Nexo Knights season 3 and crying*

Link: *Walks in* Hey it's time for the dare show!

ACZelda and Leia/Darcy: *Still sleeping*

Mimi: Meh

Link: Uh, guys? GUYS? WAKE UP!

ACZelda and Leia/Darcy: *Still sleeping*

Mimi: SHUT UP I'M GLOOMY!

Leia/Darcy: *A little bit awake* Mimi hush I'ma sleeping...

ACZelda: *Still sleeping deeply*

Mimi: WELL THEY BETTER BRING HIM BACK!

Leia/Darcy: *More awake* Huh?

ACZelda: *Sleeping through the racket*

Mimi: *Pulls off Leia/Darcy's blanket* Sooooooooooooo... What's your name today?

Leia/Darcy: Today I'm Darcy. Gimmie muh blankie back.

ACZelda: *Still sleeping*

Link: Uh... How are we going to wake her up?

Darcy: I got this, *Gets up and goes to ACZelda* There was a mistake at the shipping company, they sent you Breath of the Wild early.

ACZelda: *Wakes up* WHAAAAAAAT?! *runs to door* HOOOW?!

Darcy: DARE SHOW DARE SHOW DARE SHOW!

ACZelda: YOU TRICKED ME! *tackles Leia*

Darcy: *Was an illusion so you went through her* HA! I'M over here now! LOKI'D!

ACZelda: CHEATER!

Link: Do the dare show! I had fun watching Ganondorf suffer!

Mimi: *Doing homework* Meh life of having a ton of homework while being co-host for a dare show plus writing other stories :P

*Fourth wall cracks*

ACZelda: Fine, let's start Chapter 5. And Mimi, I will kill you for cracking our newly repaired Fourth Wall.

* * *

ACZelda: WELCOME BACK TO THE DARE SHOW!

Darcy: *Is wearing a sweatshirt that says 'Winter is Coming' with a red star on the right bicep* Yah!

ACZelda: Today we have more dares!

Darcy: Yah!

Zelda: Why is Mimi pounding a brick into that tiny crack on the wall?

Mimi: BECAUSE ACZELDA WILL KILL ME IF I DON'T!

Darcy: YAH!

ACZelda: Yeah, yeah. Anyway, our first dare is for the Four Sword Links! Red, take this. *hands him a fire rod*

Red: YAY! I luv this item! *accidentally sets Blue's butt on fire*

Blue: OWOWOWOW!

Mimi: XD the manga

Red: So, what's the dare?

ACZelda: You just did it!

Blue: *Running in circles screaming with his butt still on fire*

ACZelda: Here. *Uses water rod on him*

Blue: Thankyouthankyouthankyou… RED. I. WILL. KILL. YOU. *advances with a hammer*

Vio: Hey, stop that! You shouldn't kill yourself!

Red: *Runs* HELP ME!

ACZelda: Hey, calm down! We have another dare for another Link

Darcy: Yesss…

ACZelda: Here. *gives Link a phone* You need to prank call McDonald's. In a British accent. And you have to tell them that you're stuck in a toilet in the 'little girls' room. You also have to say you're paraplegic. A bit later, yell "HURRY UP MY CHEESEBURGER'LL GET COLD!"

Link: I have a few questions. What's a McDonalds? What's a phone? What's a British? What's a 'little girl's' room? What's a pa-padarensic? And what's a cheese begerll?

ACZelda: Here, *dials number on phone* just say it into this.

Link: *holds the phone in a weird way* Hi, I'm stuck in one of your toilets in the girl room and I need help getting out cause I'm pa- para- um, papadegic? HURRY UP MY CHEESE BEGERLL GET COLD!

Person: Um, this is 911. Why are you saying this?

ACZelda: Whoops, called the wrong number. Sorry, officer! HANG UP THE PHONE, LINK!

Darcy: *Laughing hysterically*

ACZelda: Here, take this. *hands Zelda a sharpie* Write something on Link's forehead.

Zelda: Ok! *Writes "Linky-poo, my hero"*

Link: What did you write?

ACZelda: You don't want to know.

Link: ...?

Darcy: You have a 'linky-poo hero' on your face. Go clean yourself

Link: ZEEEELDAAAA! *runs after her*

Zelda: EEEK!

ACZelda: Now that we're done with that, hopefully, Blue didn't actually kill Red, because the FS Links, Shadow included, have more dares! Red, Blue, Green, and Vio need to trade weapons. It's supposed to only be for 3 dares, but I'll make it one chapter.

Red: *hugs fire rod* I'll miss you!

Blue: NO ONE SHALL HAVE MY HAMMER!

Green: ...But I liked my boomerang!

Vio: It will be a good learning experience. I can't ONLY be skilled at the bow.

ACZelda: Blue and red, swap weapons. Green and Vio, do the same.

Red: YAAAY!

Blue: *Evil grin* *Sets Red's butt on fire*

Red: OUCHIE!

Vio: Nice. I still have a ranged weapon.

Green: I LIKE this!

ACZelda: Next, Shadow and Vio need to kiss.

Shadow Link: WHAT!

Vio: Ugh, fine. *they kiss*

Darcy: Aren't you two the same person?

Vio: Kinda, but not quite. Green, Red, Blue, and I are the same person. Shadow is just an evil reflection of us.

Darcy: So you basically just kissed an evil mirror?

Shadow: No, because I left the mirror.

Darcy: What?

ACZelda: Read the Four Sword manga. It's hilarious. NEXT! Skyward Sword Link, Skyward Sword Zelda, just kiss already. Green and Toon Zelda, do the same.

Darcy: What the heck ACZelda?

ACZelda: What? I ship it.

Darcy: WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THEY FIND THIS ENTERTAINING?

*Fourth Wall breaks*

ACZelda: Zelink shippers. And I do all requests. Also, *hands her a brick*

Darcy: *Slaps brick away* This is ridiculous! You just write 'they kiss' BOOM ENTERTAINMENT IN 2 WORDS

*Fourth wall breaks even more*

ACZelda: You just want to see them suffer instead. Now shut up so I can do the rest of the dares. AND STOP BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL!

*They kiss*

Darcy: *Screams into a pillow*

*Link pushes SS Zelda off a cliff*

Link: REVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENGE!

Darcy: WTH JUST HAPPENED?

SS Zelda: *whistles and calls Loftwing*

Darcy: I'm so over this… *Bifrost takes her away*  
ACZelda: WAIT! WE'RE DOING YOUR DARES NEXT!

Darcy: *Bifrost puts her back* Ohh yah...

ACZelda: But first, Zelda. Go slap Cia.

Zelda: With pleasure. *slaps her*

ACZelda: Now, you can do the rest, Darcy.

Darcy: Great, I have a few just to make me laugh. First, *Raises arm and scepter appears in her hand and a gold horned helmet appears on her head. She points it at the onlookers* Kneel before meh!

Onlookers: Nope.

Darcy: I said *Bangs scepter* KNEEL!

Onlookers: We said NOPE!

Darcy: Too bad, I'm an author *Points scepter at them* Do it.

Onlookers: *Beep* you. *They kneel*

Darcy: *Helmet and scepter disappear* Thank you. Now let's get down to business-

ACZelda: AGH! IT'S 4:00 PM ON A WEEKEND AND I STILL DIDN'T PLAY ANY LOZ AT ALL! Darcy, try not to destroy the place or light anything on fire. BYE, HYRULE NEEDS ME! *runs off*

Darcy: You know I will. Not. Fine.

Darcy: Let's start with you *Hands half a stick of butter and tabasco sauce to Shadow* Eat the butter, wash it down with hot sauce.

*One Half-Stick of butter and a bottle of hot sauce later*

Shadow: Ugg, that was horrible… May I have some water, please?

Darcy: Sure

Shadow: *Runs to faucet*

Darcy: Next…

*52 embarrassing dares later*

Darcy: Ok Ganondorf, you can put the chicken down now. Zelda, you can stop holding that handstand, Red, Blue, Green, Vio, you can stop running in circles in 3-2-1, NOW! Link, you still can't get the peanut butter off your nose?

Link: I DON'T HAVE GHIRAHIM'S LONG TONGUE!

Dacy: Fine. Ganondorf, put the chicken on his face, it can get it off.

Link: NOT THE CUCCO **()**! *licks peanut butter off his nose*

*The entire place is trashed and wrecked*

ACZelda: *walks in* Yay, I beat another dungeon and- DARCY! WHAT DID YOU DO!

Darcy: I had fun. Nothing's on fire anymore, though, you're welcome!

ACZelda: "ANYMORE"? And where's the Fourth Wall?!

Darcy: We moved it into the bathroom so the readers would stop watching us.

ACZelda: You are an idiot. It doesn't work like that! You have a LOT of cleaning up to do. I dare you to fix this place!

Darcy: Nobody told me that it doesn't work like that! OK, LAST DARE, ALL OF YOU GET CLEANING!

ACZelda: We're ending this chapter. I cancel that dare. You do it alone. And I'm the main host, so I have COMPLETE power over EVERYONE here.

Darcy: Ok I'll start outside. *The moment she steps outside the bifrost takes her away* BYE!

ACZelda: WELL, TOO BAD! *snaps fingers, causing Darcy to appear again*

Darcy: YOU CAN'T PULL THAT ON ME IMA AUTHOR!

ACZelda: TOO BAD! I'm the MAIN author!

*Tries to push Darcy but it was an illusion*

Dary: *From Asgard* LOKI'D.  
ACZelda: *In Asgard* Well, BEEP you! *drags her to the dare show and glues a mop to her hand*

ACZelda: Thanks for reading, and see you next chapter! Hopefully this place will be cleaned up by then. Bye!

Darcy: *Whispers* It won't be.


	6. Chapter 6 - Speech Dares, Banana!

**Author's Note**

* * *

ACZelda: Sorry, readers who saw the messed up chapter! I honestly have no idea what happened. It was perfectly fine at first! Hopefully, you're reading this, because then it means the chapter is fixed. Strange that it was in a coding format...

* * *

*The entire place is sparkling clean and the 4th wall is fixed*

ACZelda: WELCOME BACK TO THE LOZ DARE SHOW!

Link: How did you manage to convince Leia/Darcy to clean it up?

ACZelda: I didn't. She wouldn't cooperate, so she's trapped in a cage and can't escape for a chapter. I used my author powers to clean it up. Also, I get to decide her name today. It's Leia because I'm used to calling her that.

Leia: *Walks into the room wearing latex gloves and an apron* Huh?

ACZelda: IT WAS ANOTHER ILLUSION?! Beep you.

Leia: I cleaned this place, Darcy was just an evil copy of me.

ACZelda: ...I'm more confused than Link in the beginning of Chapter 4, but ok. ON TO THE DARES! Can I borrow that bottle of Lysol spray for a sec?

Leia: Sure, why?

ACZelda: For the dare. Zelda, hold this. *hands her the spray*

Zelda: What do I do with this?

ACZelda: *whispers something to her*

Zelda: Got it!  
ACZelda: Ganondorf, go touch a bunch of stuff.

Leia: What? Why?

ACZelda: Dare.

Ganondorf: Ok. *randomly touches stuff*

Zelda: *Follows Ganondorf, spraying everything he touches with Lysol*

Mimi: Evil Zelda confirmed! :)

Leia: No honey, just watch.

Ganondorf: … Are you implying anything by that, Zelda?

Zelda: I'd tell you, but the dare *cough* dare won't let me

Ganondorf: I don't get it...

Leia: *Whispers to Michi* I do

ACZelda: Next dare! There are lots of dares affecting how you talk this chapter. Link, say banana after everything you say for a chapter.  
Link: Seriously, banana **()**? I'm not doing that, banana. *Pauses* O.O

Mimi: Now you're a minion!

ACZelda: Too bad that there's a high probability that the bananas we know will become extinct.

Mimi: Unless scientists find something that can prevent this disease

ACZelda: Yeah… *sniff* Goodbye, my precious… *hugs a banana*

Mimi: BANANAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

ACZelda: *Eating the banana she hugged 2 seconds ago*

Mimi: ba...nana? :'(

ACZelda: What? Anyway, next dare!

Mimi: BA BA BA NANAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!*

*Note, that's the LoZ "got item" jingle as a banana.

ACZelda: Shut up. Zelda, you can't use 'a', 'an', or 'the' for the rest of the chapter.

Zelda: This is * ridiculous dare.

ACZelda: You also need to talk like a baby.

Zelda: Dat so rediculo I no do dat. Wat? O.O

ACZelda: One more thing: *whispers*

Zelda: *walks up to Link* I tot we fwiends! *starts crying*

Link: It's just a dare, right banana? Right banana? What did I do wrong, banana? *starts panicking* *pauses* Wait a sec… did you say "friends," banana?

Leia: #friendzoned

ACZelda: Link, stop panicking. You have a song to sing. Here are the lyrics. *Hands him a sheet of paper* Sing it to the tune of "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star".

Link: I don't know that song, banana.

ACZelda: Fine, it goes like this: *sings "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star*

Random characters: *clapping*

ACZelda: It took me so long to realize that that song has the same tune as the alphabet song... Anyway, it's your turn, Link. As loud as you can.

Link: Fine, banana.  
TINGLE, TINGLE, LITTLE GOAT BANANA!  
HOW I WONDER WHERE'S YOUR BOAT BANANA!  
SAILING ALL AROUND THE SEA BANANA!  
LIKE THE KING OF RED LIONS BANANA!

King of Red Lions: *from a lake in the yard* Did someone call me?

ACZelda: SHUT UP! DON'T INTERRUPT THIS FABULOUS SONG!

Link: TINGLE, TINGLE, LITTLE GOAT BANANA!  
HOW I WONDER WHERE'S YOUR BOAT BANANA!

Tingle: ...That's a bit insulting, Mr. fairy.

Mimi: Someone help me… I'm dying of laughter XD

ACZelda: *clapping* Nice voice, Link!

Link: *Embarrassed*

ACZelda: Hand me the lyrics.

Link: Sure, banana. *Gives it to her*

ACZelda: *Writes something on the lyrics* There we go. To make it rhyme more, I changed the fourth line to "Like the King who's named Daphnes." Anyway, our next dare is for the Prince of Darkness to act like a rabbit!

Ganondorf: *hopping around on all fours* *eats a carrot*

ACZelda: Link, treat him like he really is an adorable rabbit.

Link: Fine, banana. AWWW, it's a cute little rabbit, banana! SOOO CUTE, BANANA! *hugs him, banana*

Ganondorf: ACK! Get this crazy guy off me! *blasts Link with powerful magic*

Link: OW, banana!

Mimi: :) mwahahaha!

ACZelda: Zelda, come here.

Zelda: Okie.

ACZelda: You can't walk. Now go back to your seat.

Zelda: ...How I do dat?

ACZelda: Scoot in circles on the floor. Duh.

Zelda: ...Okie… *scoots back to her seat*

ACZelda: Wow, we have so many dares now! I'll save the rest for next chapter.

Mimi: BUT WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY D:

ACZelda: You're not even going to leave. We're just going to sit here and write and get this one published. And I don't think the Fourth Wall is in good condition.

Mimi: meh story! I must continue writing it! *Clobbers 4th wall*

ACZelda: Honestly, I don't care about that wall anymore. 1: Author powers. 2: Ganon.

Mimi: *breaks 4th wall* FREEEEDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM!

ACZelda: Ok. Ganondorf, you get to fix it.

Ganondorf: *hops to wall* Arg, fine. *tries to jump out, but gets blasted across the room*

ACZelda: HA! You can't leave the fictional world! And it would be a bad idea to go outside. 1: I don't care how tough you are, you're gonna die. 2: This place is so big that you won't even be able to find the exit. 3: We're not in Hyrule. So start fixing that wall! Bye, readers! *follows Mimi out the 4th wall*


	7. Chapter 7 - Dying Farm Animals

**Author's Note**

* * *

ACZelda: I made a poll for fun about this dare show. It asks who your favorite host in this fanfic is. Don't be afraid of insulting us by not picking someone! We won't get insulted, even if someone has no votes. It's in our profile, so check it out!

Also, the beginning is based on something that actually happened today. But I'm probably going to finish and publish it tomorrow and you might be reading it years after I publish it, making that statement false...

The app is called Tonal Energy, in case you're wondering. It's great for musicians!

Also, we have a cover! All our stories do! Thanks, Rainbowaly03!

One last thing. The reason why this chapter is called "dying farm animals" is because of the slogan of our old elementary school's band. Our old band teacher came into class once with a T-shirt design for his students that said something along the lines of "Beginner band, sounding like dying farm animals since 1990." The two things that made me choose that title are at the beginning and end of this chapter. Now, enough delay! I hope you'll enjoy this chapter!

* * *

Hosts: *Intently staring at a screen*

ACZelda: *Playing a long, in-tune note on her new flute*

Hosts: *start laughing all of a sudden*

Link: ...? What are you guys doing?

Mimi: Just check this out!

ACZelda: Play a note on your ocarina.

Link: Okay… *Plays a horribly out of tune note*

ACZelda: Woah, that's not how you do it. I know you never had any lessons, but come on! Lemme teach you...

*30 minutes later*

Link: *Plays an in-tune note*

ACZelda: Perfect! Now do it in front of the screen.

*Screen has few faded rings of color on a black background like a target*

Link: *Plays the note causing a green :) - like smiley face to appear, which grows as Link plays the note and becomes a :D, eventually covering the entire screen*

Link: *jumps back* AAH!

Hosts: *Laughing*

Mimi: *laughing and crying* I LOVE THE NEW UPDATE!

ACZelda: I also love the new update in this tuner app! It's too funny!

Link: *Looks traumatized* What was that creepy thing? And what's an app?

ACZelda: Hard to explain to a Hylian. Just wait until Calamity Ganon comes. Then I'll be able to explain.

Link: ...Okay.

ACZelda: *Looks at clock* OH MAH HYLIA!

Hylia: What?

ACZelda: No, not you! We were goofing off so much that the dare show is starting! I gotta get ready! *signals at camera* CUT! *dashes off*

* * *

ACZelda: WELCOME back!

Link: *Still looks a bit traumatized by the giant, creepy, green smiley face*

Mimi: *Still laughing a bit* The app...so funny XD

ACZelda: Calm down, guys. We have dares to go through! Our first one is for Link! Follow me.

Link: Ok.

ACZelda: *Opens a door to a room full of pots*  
Link: *gasp* All of my dreams are about to come true...

ACZelda: You can't break 'em.

Link: WHAAAAAT?! WHY NOOOT? What happens if I just ignore you?

ACZelda: Break a SINGLE pot to make all the others turn into furious, rabid cuccos **()**.

Mimi: Which would be very entertaining for us

Link: :,(

ACZelda: Good luck. *slams and locks door*

*A shattering sound is heard from the room, followed by angry clucks and Link screaming*

ACZelda: Well, that didn't take long.

*screams go silent*

ACZelda: Uh...

*No sound except a few clucks are heard*

ACZelda: ...Is anyone thinking what I'm thinking?

*cluck*

ACZelda: *snaps fingers, causing Link to appear, perfectly fine*

Link: Never... Again. *flops onto the ground*

ACZelda: Link, get up. We have more dares for you!

Link: *groans*

Hero's Shade: STOP COMPLAINING, SON! You're not a ghost! You're perfectly fine! Get up and make yourself worthy of the title "Hero of Hyrule"! A hero won't just lay on the ground!

Mimi: What he said! :)

Link: *groans louder*

ACZelda: Get up or I'll put you back in the cucco room.

Link: *jumps up* NO! NOT THE CHICKENS!

ACZelda: Thank you. Here, hold this. *hands him something that looks like an ice cream cone*

Link: Yay, ice cream!*

*Note, there's a soft-serve machine in the kitchen, so everyone learned what it is behind the scenes even though there's no ice cream in Hyrule.

ACZelda: Wait, don't eat it! Give it to Ganondorf.

Link: NOO! I knew that there was a catch!

ACZelda: *Whispers something to Link*

Link: *Evil grin*

Mimi: Tell me what it is!

ACZelda: *Whispers to Mimi*

Mimi: :D

Ganondorf: *Didn't see what happened*

Link: Here, Ganondorf, some fan wanted me to give you this. *hands him the "ice cream" cone*

Ganondorf: Yay, thanks! *shoves the entire cone into his mouth* WHAT THE- *runs to the trash can and spits it out*

ACZelda: It was frozen mayonnaise. We were out of good mayonnaise, so I dug up some old, expired mayonnaise from the bottom of the trash can.

Ganondorf: WHY YOU LITTLE- *chases Link*  
Link: *running and laughing*

Mimi: *sticks leg out and trips Ganondorf* IN YA FACE GANONDORK!

ACZelda: Cheer up, king of evil! Have these cookies! *hands him cookies*

Ganondorf: ...What are these "cookies" made of?

ACZelda: Flour, chocolate, etc. No trick.

Ganondorf: Okay… *suspiciously bites cookie* Hey, this is delicious! *shoves 5 cookies into his mouth* They're really crunchy... *CRUNCH, CRUNCH*

ACZelda: Glad you liked them because you'll have to keep eating them until Chapter 8!

Ganondorf: Okay. *CRUNCH, CRUNCH*

ACZelda: Our next dare is for-

Ganondorf: *CRUNCH, CRUNCH*

ACZelda: It's for-

Ganondorf: *CRUNCH, CRUNCH*

ACZelda: Link has t-

Ganondorf: *CRUNCH, CRUNCH*

ACZelda: I said-

Ganondorf: *CRUNCH, CRUNCH*

ACZelda: CAN'T YOU BE QUI-

Ganondorf: *CRUNCH, CRUNCH*

ACZelda: THIS IS THE MOST ANNO-

Ganondorf: *CRUNCH, CRUNCH*

ACZelda: STO-

Ganondorf: *CRUNCH, CRUNCH*

ACZelda: IF YOU CRUNCH ONE MO-

Ganondorf: *CRUNCH, CRUNCH*

Mimi: He has a voracious appetite :P

ACZelda: *Blasts Ganondorf into a soundproof room* Whew. Now that that's over with, Link. Remember G+Zelda? Well, she has a dare for you. Put this on. *Hands him a pink bikini with purple hearts*

Link: ...I officially hate her now.

ACZelda: If I remember correctly, Vaati had to do the same dare originally, but G+Zelda changed her mind.

Vaati: THANK YOU! *Faces Fourth Wall* THANK YOU SO MUCH!

Link: *wearing the bikini* Ugh, now what?

ACZelda: You need to run around screaming, "I'm a girl and I know it!" And scream louder than you did while singing "Tingle, Tingle, Little Goat."

Link: ...I hate you. *starts running in circles* I'M A GIRL AND I KNOW IT!

ACZelda: Now that that's over with, Link. Go kiss Ruto for three minutes.

Ruto: YAAAY! 3 DREAM COME TRUE!

Link: *groan* *realizes that he's still wearing the bikini* Hey, what did you do with my clothes?

ACZelda: Maybe I'll give them back to you... but first, do the dare.

Link: Fine. *starts kissing Ruto*

*2 minutes and 59.99 seconds later*

Zelda: AAAGH! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! *Tackles Ruto*

Everyone: *Dashes to popcorn stand*

ACZelda: BREAK IT UP, LADIES! *Pulls them apart*

Ruto: SHE STOLE MY HUSBAND!

Zelda: YOU FORCED HIM TO BE ENGAGED TO YOU!

Mimi: AND I DON'T CARE!

ACZelda: Be quiet, because I have something more powerful than author powers. DUCT TAPE.

Mimi: Yeah! Ducky tape!

Zelda: I don't even know what that is, but I'll shut up now.

ACZelda: Thank you. Vaati and Ganondorf, impersonate each other.

Ganondorf: *in a really squeaky voice* I'm so powerful! I'm a fat cyclops ball with bat wings! No one can beat me!

Vaati: ...Hey, I'm in my human form!  
Ganondorf: Oh, no. Is the tiny little picori mad at me?

Vaati: WHY YOU LITTLE-

Ganondorf: "LITTLE"? Take off that cap, go back to your true form, and go look in a mirror! Actually, no, just look in a mirror.

Vaati: *About to attack him*

ACZelda: WAIT! Vaati, you still have your part of the dare to do!

Vaati: Oh yeah. *evil grin* Ahem. *In a really deep, mocking voice* I'M THE ULTRA POWERFUL KING OF EVIL! I CAN BECOME A GIANT PIG! AND I FIX WALLS! *Imitates ACZelda's voice pretty well* Hey, readers! *Fourth Wall breaks* *Back to the mocking voice* OH NO, TIME TO FIX IT!

Ganondorf: *Trembling with rage*

Vaati: What's wrong, piggy? Mad that you have some wall repairing to do?

Ganondorf: *Turns into Ganon*

Vaati: *Turns into his FS monster form*

Ganon and Vaati: *Charge at each other*

ACZelda: POPCORN FOR SALE! Only 25 rupees with 10 rupee refills!

Mimi: *looks at money in pocket. Only yen* Darn it!

ACZelda: Ok! I'll take yen. Actually, you know what, I'll give you some for free. *hands her popcorn*

Mimi: FREE FOOD! *Tosses popcorn into the air* Whoops... do I get free refills too?

ACZelda: Yep!

Everyone else: *Staring jealously*

ACZelda: What? She's one of my best friends. IALink and Leia, you two also get free popcorn.

IALink and Leia: YAY!

*1 hour later*

Mimi: yummy popcorn…all gone… :P

ACZelda: *Snaps fingers* Tada! More popcorn!

Mimi: :D

*2 hours later*

Ganon: *Slams Vaati into the Fourth Wall, knocking him out*

Ganon and Vaati: *Go back to their human forms*

Vaait: Ooow... My head...

Ganondorf: HA! In ya face, picori!

Vaati: Why did I ever chose to serve you back in Four Swords Adventures...

Mimi: Meh, no more popcorn...too much o.o

ACZelda: Ugh, I will never be able to look at popcorn again... Ganondorf, we have a dare for you. For everyone, actually. Everyone has to follow Ganondorf around all day singing a really annoying song. Hmm... How about "Tingle, Tingle, Little Goat"? Except for you, Navi. Shout "Hey, listen!" every 2 seconds.

Everyone: *Evil grin*

Navi: HEY, LISTEN! HEY, LISTEN! HEY, LISTEN! HEY, LISTEN! HEY, LISTEN! HEY, LISTEN! HEY, LISTEN! HEY, LISTEN! HEY, LISTEN! HEY, LISTEN! HEY, LISTEN! HEY, LISTEN! HEY, LISTEN! HEY, LISTEN! HEY, LISTEN! HEY, LISTEN! HEY, LISTEN! HEY, LISTEN! HEY, LISTEN! HEY, LISTEN! HEY, LISTEN! HEY, LISTEN! HEY, LISTEN! HEY, LISTEN! HEY, LISTEN! HEY, LISTEN! HEY, LISTEN! HEY, LISTEN! HEY, LISTEN! HEY, LISTEN! HEY, LISTEN! HEY, LISTEN! HEY, LISTEN! Hey! HEY! HEY, LISTEN!

Everyone else: TINGLE, TINGLE, LITTLE GOAT! HOW I WONDER WHERE'S YOUR BOAT! SAILING ALL AROUND THE SEA! LIKE THE KING WHO'S NAMED DAPHNES! TINGLE, TINGLE, LITTLE GOAT! HOW I WONDER WHERE'S YOUR BOAAAT!

Ganondorf: AAAH! *Runs*  
Navi: *Flying after him* HEY, LISTEN!

Everyone else: *Running, flying, crawling, whatever after him* TINGLE, TINGLE, LITTLE GOAT!

Mimi: *playing piano*

ACZelda: *playing flute*

Link: *playing ocarina and completely ignoring what ACZelda taught him in the beginning of the chapter*

Wolf Link: *howling*

Monsters: *screeching the song in the most annoying way possible*

Ganondorf: MINIONS! STOP IT! I'LL DEMOTE YOU ALL! I'LL PROMOTE WHOEVER MAKES THE OTHERS SHUT UP!

Monsters: *screeching even louder*

Dare Show Cameraman: *Taking photos with another camera to the tune of the song, then accidentally knocks the camera filming it over, causing the chapter to end*


	8. Chapter 8 - Cuccos and Puns

Mimi: Has anyone seen ACZelda?

ACZelda: *Muffled shouting from bed* I'm here! *Jumps out of a pile of dare cards* If I wasn't so happy that we got so many great dares, I would hunt down and murder whoever moved the dare card printer above my bed. *Puts down WiiU with Minish Cap* I have to ask Vaati something...

* * *

ACZelda: Welcome back! But first, Vaati. I have to ask you something.

Vaati: *thinks* _Oh, no. Did she figure out that I was the one who moved the printer?_

Leia: Maybe...

ACZelda: Vaati, you know that as authors, we can see your thoughts, right?

Leia: *Gose cross-eyed* Can't touch this, Hammer man

ACZelda: I wanted to ask something else, though. Are you sure that you're not a girl, Vaati?

Vaati: ...What?! YOU KNOW I'M NOT A GIRL! Why did you ask that?!

ACZelda: Well, I was playing Minish Cap, and realized that you laugh like a girl. That adds a third thing to the list of girly things about you, and there isn't a single thing that makes you seem like a boy.

Vaati: Can we PLEASE just do the dares?

Leia: It's ok to want to be a girl. If I was a guy I'd be pretty sad too.

Vaati: I'M A GUY AND HAVE NO INTENTION OF BEING A WOMAN!

ACZelda: So why do you dress, laugh, and style your hair like that?

Vaati: Please... The dares...

Leia: ... -_- Okay fine

ACZelda: *Pulls out a dare card that was stuck in her hair from earlier* The first dare goes to...

Leia: Hehehe this gonna be goood...

ACZelda: THE GOLDEN GODDESSES!

Leia: Wait, aren't they kinda *snorts* _above_ you?

ACZelda: Nice pun! I have more. The _majora_ ty of them are hilarious. I could say them for a _Lon Lon_ time. I think I'd eventually drive everyone _cucco_.

Link: *Luckily didn't hear the last pun*

Leia: Now that was just cringy…

Mimi: stop... no puns... I hear them every day

ACZelda: Thank you. Now enough stalling! Din, Nayru, and Farore, go into the cucco **()** closet.

Link: *Runs off screaming as soon as he hears the word "cucco"*

Mimi: *squints at direction Link ran to* Wow! How far is he gonna go?

ACZelda: Well, that hallway is really long... He'll stop when he slams into a wall.

Link: *Distant voice* AHHHHHHHH! *Crash*

ACZelda: Huh, he smashed into the next story... I think it's Ninjago. Wait… that's YOUR story!

Mimi: He actually entered my story?

ACZelda: Yup, I can see the author's note room... Looks like the story's going on, so your readers won't see him. Hey, is he going to crash into that other wall?

Link: *Distant crash*

ACZelda: Yup.

Mimi: My other story! He crashed right into the author's note area! NO! DON'T DO... the AN... Great! Gotta go fix it and drag Link back here.

ACZelda: Okay! *Teleports*

*A few minutes later*

ACZelda: *Comes back with Link* Link... The dare isn't for you. Now just sit and watch. Hey, Mimi, should we give him a break from the dares today?

Mimi: Hmmmm… He has been dared often… But he did mess up my AN, soo... Dunno

ACZelda: Who am I kidding? Of course he has to do the dares! And if it's a cu _ _ o dare... EVEN BETTER!

Mimi: Why did you censor that?

ACZelda: We were lucky that Link didn't smash into a stranger's dare show. Let's not risk it. Also, Golden Goddesses, don't forget YOUR cu _ _ o dare!

Farore: Why did I ever create such a loathsome beast...

Leia: Maybe it listens to you if you made it?

Nayru: Do not worry, it shall not harm anyone who does not harm it.

Din: I HATE YOU, FARORE! WHY DID YOU EVER CREATE THAT ABOMINATION!

Farore: Well, the innocent little creature needed some self-defense...

Leia: Stop stalling.

Golden Goddesses: *Groan* Fine... *Walk to the cucco room with Cutie*  
*Inside the cucco room*

Farore: Hey, little cucco. You're not gonna hurt us, are you? *pets it*

Din: Heh, she's actually kinda cute. *Leans over to pet it*

Nayru: NO, WAIT! STO- Too late. *Casts Nayru's Love on herself*

Din: *Accidentally sets Cutie on fire by touching it* I'M SUCH AN IDIOT!

Farore: Screw this, I'm out. *Casts Farore's Wind on herself*

Din: WHY DO I GET THE ONLY SPELL THAT WILL MAKE THE SITUATION WORSE!

Leia: Because comic relief. *Shrugs*

Nayru: KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE! THAT'S THEIR ONLY WEAKNESS! THAT'S WHY IT WAS EVEN MORE ENRAGED THAN USUAL WHEN YOU PET IT WITH YOUR FLAMING HAND!

Din: YOU ARE A GENIOUS! *Cast's Din's Fire*

Nayru: Well, I'm the Goddess of Wisdom, sooo...

Cutie: BWACAAK! *Runs in circles*

ACZelda: NOOO, CUTIE! *Snaps fingers, dousing the flame*

Mimi: Never hurt Cutie! :(

Leia: You should be ashamed for hurting such a precious thing…

Din: ...PRECIOUS?!

Leia: Yas, precious. My precious. *Golem* *Laughs* I'm so good…

ACZelda: No, you're not.

Din: IT ALMOST KILLED US!

Nayru: *Still with the protective spell* ...Us?

Farore: *From outside, next to Leia* I think you mean "It almost killed ME."

Din: Well, *beep* you two traitors.

Nayru: Hey, I told you how to kill it!

Leia: Language, Din!

Din: *Tries to set Leia on fire but fails miserably*

Leia: *Brushes ash off shoulder* I may not look like it, but I'm still an author. *Snaps fingers, drenching Din in water* Show some respect, geez...

ACZelda: Did you just drench a flaming _Goddess_ in water _?_ Maybe _you_ need to be showing some respect.

Leia: *Using bad accent* Tell that to Kanjikulb *Coughs, no longer using accent* Excuse me. What I meant to say was, Yes, I'm a total rebel. Join the resistance.

Literally everyone: *groans*

ACZelda: Anyway, our next dare is for Ganondorf! He has to do the chicken-

Link: *Starts running*

Leia: *Uses force* Link, no, be still! She said _chicken_.

Link: SAME DIFFERENCE!  
ACZelda: Chickens don't kill you.

Leia: *whispering under breath* Tell that to Kanjiklub

ACZelda: I heard that.

Leia: *even quieter* Tell that to Kanjiklub

ACZelda: I heard that too. I'm an author.

Leia: I am too! Join the Klub!

ACZelda: *Clapping* Nice pun!

Everyone else: *Groan* Horrible pun!

ACZelda: Anyway, Ganondorf. You have to do the chicken dance for at least 30 minutes.

Ganondorf: What's that?

ACZelda: I am definitely not going to demonstrate it, so here. *Snaps fingers, forcing him to do the dance*

Ganondorf: *Flapping arms in dance* Seriously? Of all the dances I could have done… It just HAD to be the most ridiculous one.

ACZelda: Comic relief! While the King of Evil does that, our next dare is for Link! He has to… *Evil grin*

Link: Pleasedon'tbecuccospleasedon'tbecuccospleasdon'tbecuccos…

ACZelda: Don't worry, it's worse than the traditional cucco dare.

Link: What can possibly be worse than a cucco?

Mimi: YOUR FAVORITE CHARACTER DYING!

ACZelda: Yep, and that's probably going to happen to MY favorite character! Again! Majora? Come here.

Majora's Mask: Ok...

ACZelda: *Tosses Majora into the cucco room* You know what to do.

Majora's Mask: *Somehow grins evilly without a mouth* The endless power that I shall achieve! *Possesses Cutie*

ACZelda: *Throws Link into the cucco closet*

Link: *Screaming and banging at the door*

*CRASH!*  
ACZelda: That sounded like the moon slammed into the door...

Majora: *Muffled shouting from behind the door* It was a giant cucco egg!

ACZelda: I'm guessing that it had a creepy face.

Majora: Yup!

ACZelda: Why do you like smashing giant, round objects with creepy faces into things so much?!

Cutie/Majora: *Shrugs*

ACZelda: Is Link still alive?

Majora: I don't think so. HA! THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR KILLING ME! Wait... *Smashes Fierce Deity with the egg* REVEEEEEENGE!

ACZelda: I better fix this... *Snaps fingers, bringing Link and Fierce Deity back to life and making Majora pop off Cutie*

Majora: NOOO! I LIKED HAVING ALL THAT POWER! But that beak was rather painful...

Cutie: Bawk... *Faints*

Fierce Deity: NO FAIR! I'M A GOD! GODS ARE IMMORTAL!

Link: *crying*

ACZelda: Come on, is dying really that bad?

Link: No. It's worse.

ACZelda: Well, get used to it, because I'm pretty certain that it's gonna happen to you again after Calamity Ganon attacks. And that will happen in... *Checks a countdown on a phone with a hylian crest case* 17 days, 22 hours, 56 minutes, and 0 seconds!

Link: *Sarcasm* Yay.

ACZelda: At least I'll get to explain what an app is! As soon as you get your memory back.

Link: *Sarcasm* Woo.

ACZelda: Zelda's going to be adorable!

Link: *Perks up* It's worth it!

ACZelda: Thank you. I think we've done enough today, so bye! See you next chapter! Also, sorry if I didn't get to your dare yet, but as you saw in the beginning, I'm drowning in dares. *Leaves*

ACZelda: *Runs back in* I ALMOST FORGOT! I'm missing part of the Majora/Cutie dare! Link, remember Piper?

Link: SHE was the one who gave me that dare?! I HATE HER SO MUCH!

Piper: *Walks in* Hi! I'm back! And Link... *Hugs him* *Leaves*

Link: ...I take back what I said.

ACZelda: NOW the chapter is over! Bye!


	9. Chapter 9 - Valentine's Day!

ACZelda: Welcome back and HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! We've got a few nice dares for the occasion! But first, just a warning. Don't open that door. *Points to her bedroom*

Vaati: Why not? *Opens door and an avalanche of origami heart boxes falls on him* AAH! PAPER CUTS!

ACZelda: Cheer up! I have a gift for you. *Hands him a larger version of the origami heart boxes*

Vaati: Thanks! *Opens it* CHOCOLATE! *Shoves all the chocolate in his mouth*

ACZelda: *Writes something down*

Mimi: *Peaks over her shoulder*

Vaati: ...What's that?

ACZelda: The list of times I killed you. There's poison in there. Funny that I get to kill you a third time. I defeated you recently in my second playthrough of Minish Cap.

Vaati: ...

Mimi: ACZELDA HAS A BLACK LIST! O.o

ACZelda: What? I'm probably going to kill the villains thousands of times, so I'm just keeping track. Anyway, our next dare is for Link, Zelda, and their Lolian counterparts! First, *Snaps fingers, which teleports Link and (NEXT WORD HAS LINK BETWEEN WORLDS SPOILERS!) Ravio into a soundproof room*

Vaati: ...How long does it take for the poison to take effect?

ACZelda: Any minute now.

Vaati: *Face pales, he chokes, and falls over*

Mimi: Bingo! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

ACZelda: Hmm... He's still alive. Let's wait until he's dead to heal him. Anyway, dares! Zelda? Hilda? Swap outfits. *Snaps fingers* Now, Link? (SPOILERS!) Ravio? *They walk in* Kiss the correct princess or you'll become chicken feed.

Link: I know that there's a catch... But it's easy! Zelda has blonde hair, and Hilda has purple hair.

*They kiss the right princesses*

ACZelda: *Clapping* Congrats! You're correct! But too bad, you're still going to the cucco room. *Tosses them on top of Cutie who had her feathers turned pink for the holiday*

Mimi: Why do I keep on thinking that Cutie is being used as a Pokémon?

ACZelda: Is she? Nah, definitely not. CUTIE! USE PECK!

Link and (Spoilers!) Ravio: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

It's super effective!

Mimi: Definitely a Pokémon. -_-

ACZelda: NEXT! *Whispers to Zant*

Zant: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!

ACZelda: Do it.

Zant: Fine... *Walks up to Midna and gets on a knee* Midna... I love you so much... Will you marry me? *Kisses her*

Midna: *Slaps him hard enough to shatter his mask/helmet thing* NO! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT I WOULD WANT TO MARRY THE PERSON WHO CURSED ME AND MY PEOPLE AND RUINED MY LIFE IN SO MANY WAYS! Besides, your breath smells like wet dog! And that's a smell I'm very familiar with. *Looks at Link*

Link: … -_- Not my fault!

Mimi: My dog loves the rain, so he's stinky XD

ACZelda: My dogs love swimming in a creek in front of my house, but they hate baths. I know how it feels to be stuck with wet dogs, Midna. Anyway, NEXT! *Snaps fingers, making Link appear, healed*

Link: *Crying*

ACZelda: Cheer up! You have to go on a date with Zelda!  
Link and Zelda: Yay!

ACZelda: In front of everybody.

Link and Zelda: *Awkwardly stand there holding hands*

Mimi: Link and Zelda sitting in a tree…

Link and Zelda: O/O

ACZelda: K-I-S-S-I-N-G! Join in, everyone!

Everyone: FIRST COMES LOVE, THEN COMES MARRIAGE, THEN COMES A BABY IN A BABY CARRIAGE!

Link and Zelda: *Blushing furiously*

ACZelda: It's been years since I sung that song. It's babyish. I don't care! Anyway, the next dare is for Vaat-

Vaati: *Groans* The pain... Make it stop...

ACZelda: Oh, right. I forgot that he's still poisoned. *Snaps fingers, healing him*

Vaati: THANK DEMISE! Finally!

ACZelda: Grimm, come here.

Grimm: *Walks in* Hi!

ACZelda: This dare is for you and Vaati. *Snaps fingers and shoves Grimm towards Vaati, dressed like Princess Zelda* I got Vaati a little Valentine's day gift~ All his... *Laughs evilly*

Zelda: *Dressed like Grimm* Hey, I kinda like this!

Grimm: Um, do I have a say in this? *Straightens up, pushing glasses into place* Seriously, how does she move in such a long skirt?

ACZelda: *smirks* Short answer is no. Long answer is noooooo~ *snickers* Also, you'll get used to it. I was Zelda for Halloween, so I know what it's like.

Link: What's Halloween?

ACZelda: You'll find out in a few months.

Mimi: And by that, she means more than half of the year!

Vaati: *Turns into his monster form and carries Grimm off* This makes up for the poison!

ACZelda: You may be wondering how this is Valentine's Day related. There is a chocolate heart with his/her name on it.

Link: I'll d-

Piper: *Rushes in* I'LL DO IT! I'LL DO IT! I'LL DO IT! I shall save Grimm! I want them chocolates, baby! Dress me in green and I shall save princess Grimm from the evil Vaati!

ACZelda: Great! *Snaps fingers, making Link and Piper swap outfits*

Link: *Wearing girl's clothes* ...Seriously?

Piper: YEAH! Time to save Grimm! FOR CHOCOLATE! *Raises sword and dashes off*

ACZelda: It's amazing what people do for chocolate. While Piper does that, Link! Say your best pick-up lines to Zelda.

Mimi: I like chocolate! But I get sick of chocolates like Hershey's but I don't to chocolate's made by companies like Meiji! :)

Link: Um... Ok... Hey, Zelda, you're my master sword because I won't let anyone but you hold me! Also, *Holds up three heart pieces* You'll always be a piece of my heart! I need you to complete it!

Zelda: …

Mimi: -_-

ACZelda: EXCELLENT PUNS, apprentice! I _like-like_ them! I see that I have trained you well.

Mimi: ...You were giving him pun lessons?

ACZelda: Yup!

Mimi: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! PLZ NO PUNS! D:

Everyone: *Groan* We're screwed.

ACZelda: *Looks out the window to see Piper in the distance fighting Vaati* Welp, looks like we have time for a few more dares before she comes back! Ruto? Zelda? Kiss.

Ruto and Zelda: *Glare at each other with pure hatred*

ACZelda: *Shoves them into each other* KISS ALREADY!

Ruto and Zelda: Fine... *They kiss*

Zelda: *Tackles Ruto and shoves the poisoned chocolate in her mouth*

Ruto: Oh, *beep.*

ACZelda: LANGUAGE!

Ruto: *Face pales and she chokes*

ACZelda: That's for being a jerk. *Snaps fingers, healing her* And that's for being useful. The next dare i-

Piper: *Comes back in dragging human Vaati by the feet and followed by Grimm* I WON! Where's my chocolate?

ACZelda: *Nudges Vaati with her foot* Is he... dead?

Piper: No. I poisoned him.

Vaati: *Groan* I officially... *Chokes* Hate... chocolate...

ACZelda: Luckily for you, I'm kinder than most dare show hosts, so here. *Heals him* Thanks for the fun boss fight!

Vaati: Thank you!

ACZelda: And Piper, here ya go! *Hands her chocolate*

Piper: YAY! *Bites into it* Huh, it tastes strange... *Face pales, she chokes, then falls over*

ACZelda: Whoops. Wrong chocolate. *Heals her*

Piper: AGH! I feel bad for doing that to Vaati now!

ACZelda: It's called karma. Sorry about that! Here's the proper chocolate. *Hands her a chocolate heart with "Piper" on it*

Piper: *Suspiciously bites it* Hey, this is great! THANKS! *Leaves*

ACZelda: Next dare! Zelda, go kiss Zant.

Zelda: Okay... *Kisses him*

Zant: *Opens mouth to say something*

Zelda: *Kicks him in between the legs*

Zant: OWIE! OWIE! OWIE! *Doubles over in pain*

Zelda: THAT'S FOR HURTING LINKY-POO!

ACZelda: Next, Zelda's supposed to marry Legolas Greenleaf for a chapter.

Link: NOOOOO!

Mimi: Deal with it, buddy -_-  
Legolas: *Walks in* Greetings!

ACZelda: Meet the woman you're gonna marry. For a day. *Points at Zelda*

Legolas: *Thinks* _Wow, she's beautiful!_

Link: ...You have boring ears.

Legolas: Hey! At least I was raised by elves like you!

Link: *Trembling with rage* I AM NOT AN ELF! *Tackles him*

ACZelda: Whoops, I should have told him that Santa's Elves aren't the only pointy-eared people called "Elves."

Link: ...Really?

ACZelda: Yeah, calling you an elf was a compliment.

Link: ...Whoops.

ACZelda: How did you manage to knock him unconscious so quickly and easily?! HE WAS RAISED BY ELVES! They're as skilled as Sheikah!

Link: *Shrugs* I was a tiny bit furious...

ACZelda: ...Tiny bit? You almost killed him! It'll be hard for him to get married like that. And we're out of Valentine's Day dares, so see you next cha-

Link: *Picks something out from the pile of origami heart boxes that almost killed Vaati* Hey, what's this? It's from you! It says, "Happy Valentine's day, Lin-"

ACZelda: SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP! *Glances at Zelda*

Zelda: *Luckily for ACZelda, she didn't hear what Link said*

ACZelda: *Whispers menacingly* Don't. Read. Your. Valentines. In. Front. Of. Zelda. Or someone will die. Understood?

Link: *Quickly nods head*

Mimi: Ohhhh! ACZelda 恋してる！！(^-^)

ACZelda: Translate that. *Threatens her with a piece of chocolate* Now.

Mimi: 嫌だね。

ACZelda: And that. I shall not hesitate to poison you. Or... *Goes to Google Translate* *Reads "In love"* MIMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! EU VOU MATAR VOCE! VOCE E UMA *beep*!*

*Sorry if my Portuguese grammar sucks, I don't write in that language very often and haven't been to Brazil in four years and am too lazy to add the accents. I'm fluent, however!

Mimi: こんなしゃべり方、通訳できるかね〜 関西弁でしゃべったらどうなるかな。それか讃岐弁、いや！昔のしゃべり方でいいじゃろう。わしが何言ってるかわかるじゃろうか。

ACZelda: *Starts chasing Mimi* VINGANCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!  
Mimi: ヒエエエエ！！！助けて！！！ Σ('◉⌓◉') リンク！！！私を救って！

Link: Wait, what? What'd you say? *Starts speaking in Hylian*

Mimi: もう！男は頼れない！(¬_¬)

*Hours later*

Mimi: *Tied up in a corner*

ACZelda: Anyway, thanks for reading and see you next chapter! HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, EVERYONE!

 **Translation**

* * *

Mimi: Ohhhh! ACZelda in love! (^-^)

ACZelda: Translate that. *Threatens her with a piece of chocolate* Now.

Mimi: I don't want to.

ACZelda: And that. I shall not hesitate to poison you. Or... *Goes to Google Translate* *Reads "In love"* MIMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! I WILL KILL YOU! YOU ARE A *beep*!

Mimi: I wonder if you can translate this. What if I speak in Kansai Dialect? Or maybe Sanuki Dialect, No! I should speak the old way! Can you understand what I am saying?

ACZelda: *Starts chasing Mimi* REVENGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Mimi: AHHHHHHHH! Help! Σ('◉⌓◉') Link! Help me!

Link: Wait, what? What'd you say? *Starts speaking in Hylian*

Mimi: Arg! Why can't I rely on boys! (¬_¬)

* * *

 **Bloopers** :

* * *

(ACZelda: Basically the authors' funny reactions to stuff!)

 **#1**

At "But too bad, you're still going to the cucco room." right after the kissing song. I had forgotten that Link was still in there.

"Mimi: Why do the who entire kissing thing then?

XD

ACZelda: Whoops, XD!

Plot hole!

I'll go fix it."

That is when we had the blooper idea!

 **#2**

At "My dogs love swimming in a creek in front of my house, but they hate baths."

Mimi: My dog doesn't mind baths... He likes to try and attack/drink water spraying out of a hose.

ACZelda: Lucky! I almost drown every time!

(ACZelda: That's it for today! Bye, and for the third time, HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!  
Also, that Valentine's Day Google Doodle mini game is super addicting! Open a new tab and try it if you haven't already!)

* * *

ACZelda: *Dashes back in* DANG IT! I just remembered! Heh, sorry (SPOILERS!) Ravio... *Opens cucco **()** room door*

(SPOILERS!) Ravio: *Clothes torn up, bleeding, covered in pink feathers, and crying*

ACZelda: Here, maybe this will cheer you up! *Hands him a Valentine and a chocolate heart*

(SPOILERS!) Ravio: Thanks... *Bites into chocolate, face pales, chokes, and falls over*

ACZelda: WHAT?! *Heals him and gives him a piece of safe chocolate* THAT WAS FROM MY SECRET, POISON-FREE STASH! HOW DID-

Vaati: *Slowly backing into a dark corner holding a bottle of poison*

ACZelda: WHY YOU LITTLE-

Vaati: AAAAAAH!


	10. Chapter 10 - Almost LoZ Day!

Mimi: *Playing Twilight Princess*

ACZelda: You've been playing for hours! Give me my WiiU back! *Yanks it from her*

Mimi: HEY!

ACZelda: *Goes back to her profile and scans the Wolf Link amiibo* Too bad. I wanna beat the Cave of Shadows.

*Hours later*

ACZelda: *Holding up the Amiibo in triumph* YES! I DID IT! I BEAT THE CAVE OF SHADOWS! Wolfy, you are now ready, ready to help me find out what happened 100 years ago. BREATH OF THE WILD IN TWO WEEKS!

Mimi: ...Now can I play?

ACZelda: Sur-

Leia: Uh, guys, what about the dare show?

ACZelda: Oh, right. *Turns off WiiU* Be right back! *Dashes off to get ready*

* * *

ACZelda: Welcome back! And Vaati is currently... unable to attend the dare show. He's a tiny bit injured and dead, and even my author powers barely helped... So Impa helped heal him.

Vaati: *Asleep in the Shrine of Resurrection*

Impa: It'll only take a century! Side effects may include memory loss.

Link: What did you do to him for even AUTHOR POWERS to not work?

Ravio: *With a traumatized look on his face* She forced him to drink the whole bottle of poison he was holding. It was not a pleasant sight, but it IS kinda nice to get revenge... It was his fault that I got poisoned at the end of last chapter!

ACZelda: I only used a tiny drop on those chocolates. I was curious to see what would happen if someone drank an entire bottle of it. Anyway, our first dare goes to Link! He's gonna be called "Loink" for the rest of the chapter.

Loink: ... And I thought that "Lonk" was a ridiculous name.

ACZelda: Calm down, Loink! You'll drive everyone _cucco_ if you keep complaining. Is it really that bad? You're _egg_ aggerating about how ridiculous that name is. I don't know _feather_ or not I should stop these puns from the dare. I have a _talon_ (Get it? "A talon," "A ton"? And I don't mean the character Talon) of puns. Huh, Loink isn't _cracking_ (Get it? An egg cracking?) up at these cucco **()** puns. He just looks traumatized instead...

Loink: *Curled up in a ball on the floor and crying*.°(ಗдಗ。)°.

Mimi: I am as well... why the puns (T ^ T)

ACZelda: Anyway, one of the people who requested the Loink dare also wanted me to tell this story. *Reading off a dare card* Loink was playing Wind Waker HD, and Loink decided to start a new file. When Loink went to Loink's grandmother's house to get the green clothes, Loink went beneath the house where there were a few rupees. After collecting the rupees, Loink headed into the house and received the clothes... but there was nothing there! Grandma said that it was made of magical material that could only be seen by the honest, then said, "You can see them, CAN'T YOU?" The end. Next, the Four Sword Links get a present! *Hands them each a chocolate replica of the Four Sword with a white chocolate gem dyed with food coloring to match each Link*

Red: YAAAY! *Happily bites into it* ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

Green: Thanks! *Takes a bite*

Blue: AWESOME! *Shoves the entire thing into his mouth*

Vio: I don't trust chocolate anymore... Especially since Vaati, who poisoned a lot of chocolate, is our main enemy. This is too good to be true. *Suspiciously nibbles it* But this tastes amazing! *Bites the entire blade off*

Shadow: Do I get anything?

ACZelda: Yep. *Hands him an adorable Zelda doll*

Shadow: I... I... LOVE IT! *Hugs the doll* (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)

Zelda: Okay… *Slowly backs away from Shadow Link*

ACZelda: Next dare! Midna, go run 50 laps around the cast.

Midna: Okay. Come here, Wolf Li-

ACZelda: Too bad, you can't use Wolf Link. And run. Don't fly.

Midna: But I'm out of shape! I rode Link the entire journey!

ACZelda: Too bad! Also, *Covers the area in Twilight so Midna would be in her physical form*

Midna: Aww, I thought you had forgotten...

ACZelda: Stop stalling! Start running!

Mimi: Hop to it!

Midna: *Groans* Fine… *Starts running*

ACZelda: While she does that, Loink. Make a sandwich.

Mimi: Ooh! Make one for me!

Loink: That's it? That's the easiest dare I have ever-

ACZelda: Blindfolded.

Loink: ...Oh. Too good to be true. I jinxed it.

ACZelda: Yup. Here. *Places a table with bread, peanut butter, and jelly in front of him then blindfolds him*

Loink: *Successfully grabs bread and tries to spread jelly on it with the back of the knife*

ACZelda: Loink, that's not how you hold a knife.

Loink: So that's why it was cutting my hand.

Mimi: O.o AHHHHHHH

ACZelda: /)_-

Leia: *Swaps peanut butter with the jar of poison mixed with rotten eggs and butter*

Mimi: *whispers* Good one!

Loink: What's that smell? *Starts spreading the poison on the table, which melts* And what's that sound?

ACZelda: *Holding back a laugh and silently high-fiving Leia* You're spreading the poi- I mean, peanut butter on the table.

Loink: Oh. *Successfully makes the poison butter and jelly sandwich* ＼(^o^)／

ACZelda: Now eat it. Blindfolded.

Loink: *Happily* Okay! The best part! *Takes a bite, gags, face pales, chokes, and falls over*

Leia: *Laughing*

Mimi: O.o so glad he didn't give it to me like I said...

ACZelda: *Summons and hands Mimi a sandwich then heals Loink* I wonder if this is the last we'll see of the poison?

Mimi: Yummy! *Bites into the sandwich*

Loink: Where did you even get that poison?

ACZelda: Don't ask questions you don't want the answer to. I'll end the chapter here. It's a little short, but to celebrate the LoZ anniversary, we'll have a Dare-a-Thon! Every single dare I haven't used yet will be there, no matter how long the chapter gets! You'll see these on New Year's Eve, too. Bye, and see you February 21st! ＼(^-^)／


	11. Chapter 11 - LoZ Anniversary! Part 1

**Author's Note**

* * *

ACZelda: Dare-a-Thons take a while to write! To not be late, I split this into two parts. The next time I do a Dare-a-Thon, would you prefer it if I publish it late, separate it into two parts and publish the first part on time, or shorten it all together to get it published on time? Leave your answer in a review!

* * *

*Everyone is wearing party hats*

ACZelda: HAPPY LEGEND OF ZELDA 31ST ANNIVERSARY! Today, as promised, we will have a Dare-a-Thon!

Link: But it's everyone's Birthday!

ACZelda: Technically. But even then, it's only your Birthday *Points at Link*, your Birthday *Points at Zelda*, your Birthday *Points at Ganon*, your Birthday *Points at Octorocks*, and you guys' Birthdays. *Points at a group of monsters, including Tektites and Leevers* Also, I brought my dogs for fun. *Points at two dogs* Meet Draco and Skippy!

Draco: *A large border collie with fluffy but thick fur, floppy ears, and a green collar* *Groans and lays down under a table*

Skippy: *A normal-sized border collie with pointy ears, one with a small chunk gone from the tip, less fluffy fur, and a red collar* *Dashing happily around the room, occasionally nudging someone's arm up to beg for attention, and baking at the monsters and villains*

Link: Awwww, they're adorable! *Pets Draco, turns into a wolf, and plays with Skippy*

Mimi: Why did you bring your dogs?

ACZelda: To celebrate the occasion? I dunno, I just felt like it. Also, we have a new co-host!

Grimm: Hi!

ACZelda: Anyway, our first dare is for... *Facepalm* I should have used this in the Valentine's Day special! Sorry. Zelda! Go kiss Zant.

Zelda: Forgive me, Link. *Kisses Zant's mask*

Zant: No fair! You were supposed to kiss ME, not the mask!

Mimi: XD

ACZelda: That works. Fi, follow Link everywhere and calculate the percentage of everything he does.

Fi: I shall do what you requested, not-master. Master, please forgive me. I calculate a 100% probability that your level of irritation shall rise exceedingly high.

Mimi: That's good to know.

Link: *Standing there*

Fi: I calculate a 90% probability that you are supposed to do more than just stand there.

Mimi: True.

ACZelda: Fi's right. Go do a bunch of random stuff.

Link: Fine. *Drinks a bottle of red potion*

Fi: I calculate a 5% probability that you will choke on your potion and a 100% probability that it will heal any cuts you had. I also calculate a 60% probability that you dislike the taste and a 40% probability that you are used to it by now.

Link: *Walking back and forth*

Fi: I calculate a 6% probability that you will trip and fall.

Link: *Running*

Fi: I calculate a 8% probability that you will trip. I also calculate a 0.00001% probability that your blood flow will be cut off by the clothes you are wearing. I also sense an increase in irritation. I calculate that your annoyance levels shall rise to a very high point in exactly 5 minutes.

Link: *Trips* AAAH!

Fi: I calculate a 1% probability that you will get a concussion and a 0.0000000000000002% probability that you will die from it. I also calculate a 70% probability that you are about to kill me and a 30% probability that you will attempt to make me stop talking in some way other than death. Your level of irritation is at the highest it has ever been. If you chose the first, more likely option, I calculate a 1% probability that I will survive.

Link: *Tackles Fi*

Fi: Not-master, may I have permission to end the dare before master ends my life?

ACZelda: Please, save yourself! I don't want to watch my favorite companion die again!

Linebeck: What about me?

ACZelda: You're my second favorite character.

Linebeck: Yay!

ACZelda: By the way, happy birthday Luchux! Luchux is one of our most active reviewers and has a birthday on the 24th.

Mimi: HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY! (๑◡๑)

ACZelda: Now, everyone, go beat up Tetra from Luchux's fanfic. She's evil.

*Another Tetra walks in*

Everyone *Tackles her*

Good Tetra: This is weird...

Evil Tetra: AAAAAAAAAH!

Mimi: Yup, very weird.

ACZelda: Next, Link. You're Ghirahim's slave. Zelda, film it.

Zelda: Okay!

Ghirahim: Yay!

Link: Oh, *beep.*

ACZelda: Language, Link!

Mimi: *Holding popcorn to ACZelda* I GOT SOME POPCORN READY!

ACZelda: I'm fine, I already ate two buckets of it during this weekend. You can eat it all.

Mimi: YAY!

Ghirahim: *Drops a pile of weapons in front of Link* Polish my swords.

Link: Why do you have so many swords and where do you even keep all of them?!

Ghirahim: Don't ask questions, slave.

Link: *Grumbles and starts polishing the swords*

ACZelda: Zelda, later I'll teach you what YouTube is. I think some people will be interested in seeing this. Anyway, while they do that, Zelda. Become a pirate.

Tetra: Um... I already am a pirate.

ACZelda: Still, something's missing. Oh! Here. *Tosses an eye patch to her*

Mimi: *Deep breath* IT'S SKYBOUND ALL OVER AGAIN! (AN: Reference to Ninjago Skybound season when Jay gets an eyepatch)

ACZelda: Ganondorf, go skip in circles.

Ganondorf: *Starts skipping, then trips a few seconds later* I never skipped before in my life!

Mimi: XD Epic failure!

ACZelda: Too bad! Hmm, I think you can do two dares at once. Ganondorf, moo as loud as you can while you skip.

Ganondorf: What?

ACZelda: Moo like a cow.

Ganondorf: Why does everyone love humiliating me... MOOOOOOOO! *Trips again*

Link: Finished polishing!

Ghirahim: Great! Now I have a few other tasks for you...

Link: *Groans*

ACZelda: Ghirahim, don't give him TOO many things to do. We have a lot of dares for him! Ganondorf too! Give Tingle a piggy back ride.

Ganondorf: Fine... *Picks up Tingle*

Tingle: I have a bad feeling about this.

*A few minutes later*

Ganondorf: DONE! *Drops Tingle*

Tingle: AAAAAAH! WHY WON'T MY BALLOON INFLATE!

*Splat*

ACZelda: Is he alive?

Mimi: I hope not

ACZelda: WHO CARES! NEXT DARE! Ruto! Follow me.

Ruto: Okay...

ACZelda: *Walks into the kitchen to see Skippy on top of the same table that Draco was under, eating everything on it* SKIPPY! BAD DOG! GET OFF!

Skippy: *Runs*

ACZelda: Anyway, *Shoves Ruto into the oven* REVENGE FOR ALL THE WATER DUNGEONS! Speaking of which, is Link done yet? He has a few water dungeon dares to do... *Walks back to the main room*

Link: *Washing a giant pile of red capes* HOW. DOES. GHIRAHIM. MANAGE. TO. FIND. SO. MUCH. FOR. ME. TO. DO?!

ACZelda: I guess it will be a while before he's done. While that, the Golden Goddesses have a dare! They have to... smite everyone... including me. This is going to hurt.

Golden Goddesses: *Evil grins*

*Seconds later*

*The entire place is destroyed*

ACZelda: *Appears* Ouch, I was right. That did hurt.

Mimi: *Appears* OWIEEEEEEEEEE! I couldn't even reach for a pencil to say my last words!

Other hosts: *Also appear*

Din: NO FAIR! I KILLED YOU!

ACZelda: You can't kill someone from the real world if you're in the fictional world. *Snaps fingers, fixing the place and bringing everyone back to life* Link, you're no longer Ghirahim's slave.

Link: YES! FINALLY!

Ghirahim: NOOOOOOOOO!

ACZelda: Link, dance Ballet.

Link: Fine. *Does multiple spin attacks*

Mimi: SUPER SMASH BROS!

ACZelda: That doesn't count. No sword. And this wasn't included in the dare, but wear a tutu. *Snaps fingers*

Link: Fine... *Tries and fails to do the dance*

ACZelda: *Clapping* Congratulations! It takes skill to fail so miserably!

Link: *Embarrassed*

Mimi: Don't worry, she says that to me too. By the way, ACZELDA IS A BAD SENSEI! XP

ACZelda: Long story involving me trying to teach her how to make an origami flying boat that I designed when I was very little, then accidentally tearing my own boat apart and utterly failing to teach her. And Mimi failing in a way I did not think possible. It was still the first time you beat me in an origami boat race! The poor S.S. Linebeck has been lost forever in the creek in front of my house… I shouldn't have named it after a boat that sank.

Linebeck: What was the name of the boat that beat the one named after mine?

ACZelda: It was named after me. _The Failed Sensei_.

Linebeck: ...Humiliating.

ACZelda: Yeah! Now, on to the next dare! Ganondorf, use Link's back as a drum.  
Ganondorf: Gladly.

*Minutes later*

Link: OW! MY BACK! THE PAIN!

ACZelda: Ganondorf, you did it that hard on purpose, didn't you?

Ganondorf: What? No! Why would I EVER do that?

ACZelda: *Sarcasm* I dunno, maybe it has something to do with you two being mortal enemies?

Mimi: Yup

ACZelda: Anyway, Link. You have a few dares to do. *Opens up portals to every water dungeon and the Shadow Temple, all filled with cuccos*

Mimi: Why are water dungeons all hard to beat…  
ACZelda: I have no clue.

*A few hours later*

Link: *Jumps out of the first portal, breathing heavily, covered in scratches and feathers, and with Morpha stuck through his sword* I'm… done…

ACZelda: Great! You have a few more to do...

Link: *Starts cursing and crying*

ACZelda: LINK! WHERE DID YOU EVEN LEARN THOSE SWEAR WORDS?

Link: *Wipes away tear* I guess giving us the ability to speak English gave us the knowledge of every word. *Jumps into the next portal, lands on a cucco **()** , and runs through the temple screaming

ACZelda: This will take a while. *Pulls out the first LoZ game and a blank map*

 _To be continued in part two!_

 **Ending**

(This would be weird on any day except today, so here it is! Be sure to read it! If you do at least your first dare, you might appreciate LoZ more, even if you think you love LoZ more than everyone else.)

* * *

ACZelda: And we're almost done! Two things left. First, *summons a giant, Triforce-shaped cake* we can't celebrate an anniversary without some cake!

Link: YAAAY! *Takes a large slice from the Triforce of Courage*

ACZelda: Each Triforce piece is a different type of cake. We have one more dare to do-

Cast: *Groans*

ACZelda: Shut up, it's for the readers. *Looks through the cracked Fourth Wall directly at you* Go play through the first dungeon of the first LoZ, or at least watch a playthrough of it on YouTube. After you're done with that, watch the Switch Presentation trailer of BotW. It will remind you of how far this wonderful series has come over the 31 years!  
Also, *Shows hand with a drawn on Triforce* here's a fun idea! Draw a blank Triforce on your hand. Don't be afraid to show the world that you love this series! You might make a friend. If it gets faded, redraw it. On March 1st, fill in one piece. On March 2nd, fill in another. On March 3rd, fill in the last piece. With the full Triforce, the wish you all have of BotW being released shall be granted!  
HAPPY LEGEND OF ZELDA ANNIVERSARY, EVERYONE!  
*Dashes towards the cake as curtains close*

* * *

ACZelda: *Muffled shouting from behind the curtains* Why are you still here?! Go play LoZ! Today isn't complete without doing that!


	12. Chapter 12 - Dare-a-Thon! Part 2

**Author's Note**

* * *

ACZelda: Okay, I have quite a few important things to say before you can read the chapter: You are likely thinking the exact same thing as many people around the world, including me: "BREATH OF THE WIIIIIIIIILD! IT'S MARCH 3RD!"  
I am extremely hyped for this game, as you likely are too! You probably want to send in a mountain of BotW dares. However, many of us, including me, have been avoiding BotW spoilers as if they were like-likes mixed with blade traps. So, I'm sorry to say this, but **no BotW dares until I say so**. Unless it's OBVIOUSLY stated in the trailers. If you don't know whether or not to send in the dare, just don't. If you even say the name of a single, new character or enemy, the dare will not be used. Spoiling even the littlest thing once will lead to a warning. Twice will lead to a second warning. Thrice will lead to being blocked until I allow BotW dares.

Also, this chapter is a lot longer than usual, but I still haven't used all your dares. Sorry. I won't make a part three. However, all the chapters will be longer to make up for it!

And the rating is now a T. Don't worry, there's nothing too bad, just a safety precaution. A couple fights, maybe a single drop of blood, but that's it.

Anyway, enough of me rambling! ON TO THE CHAPTER! And happy BotW Day, everyone! :D That's what I'll call it from now on.

* * *

ACZelda and Mimi: *Walk back in*

ACZelda: Link STILL isn't done?! We had time to write the AN of BOTH Mimi's stories!

Mimi: Give her a break, she's been busy.

ACZelda: /)_- Not THAT Link! The one who's been stuck in the Shadow Temple since part 1!

Mimi: Ohhhhhh. I thought you were talking about the other Link.

*In the shadow temple*

Link: *Fighting Bongo Bongo blindfolded* HA! I GOT YOU- Nope. It was another cucco. Sigh.

*Hours later*

Link: *Stumbles out of the portal* I'm... done... *Collapses onto the floor*

ACZelda: GET UP! WE HAVE A DARE TO DO! Grimm, you can do this one.

Grimm: *Hands Link a roll of toilet paper* You see this? *Points to Ganondorf and smirks* Have at him.

Link: *Nods in understanding before starting to wrap Ganondorf in toilet paper*

Ganondorf: Link, you son of a-mmph! *Mouth gets covered by toilet paper*

ACZelda: Oh, wait! Before I forget, to celebrate the release of this wonderful, Sheikah-focused game, I'm changing my name for a chapter. It's ACSheik now. Anyway, what's next?

Grimm: Let's see... Ooh, Link has to lick someone's foot. So, who's your choice?

Link: *Glances around, feeling nervous* Uhh... Can I take a raincheck?

Grimm: -_- *holds up Cutie* Wanna ask that again?

Link: *Flinches* N-no! Keep that demon away from me!

Cutie: *Clucks and cuddles up to Grimm's chest*

Grimm: Good girl, Cutie. Alright, pick someone...

Link: *glances at Zelda and takes her boot off* Forgive me... *Licks her foot*

Zelda: *Turns red-faced and smacks him across the face*

Link: OW!

Shadow Link: Now you know my pain.

ACSheik: That was great. Speaking of Zelda, it's her turn!

Grimm: Zelda... You're going to need to make a difficult choice.

Zelda: I'm not going in the cucco room.

Grimm: Understood. Honestly, Cutie isn't that horrible. *Cuddles said cucco* But anyway, go here... *Tosses her down a hole* Have fun!

Zelda: *Screams and lands on the stained glass pedestal* Ow! Is that any way to treat a Princess?

Grimm: Sorry! I'll make it up to you later!

*A sword, a shield, and a magic wand topped with a blue Mickey mouse head appeared before her*

Zelda: A sword? Maybe I can finally smite Ganondorf after all these years.

Ganondorf: *Hears it from his spot above the hole, his face pales, and he backs up slowly*

Zelda: *Grabs the sword and it turns into a Keyblade and she smirks softly* Oh yes, this'll do just nicely…

CD-i Zelda: *Shouts into the hole* GRAB THE WAND! SWORDS ARE STUPID!

ACSheik: ...What are you doing here? *Pulls out a sword with a golden hilt inlaid with green gemstones* I'll show you how stupid swords are! *Chases her*

CD-i Zelda: AAAAGH! SAVE MEH, SOMEONE!

Everyone: Nah. *Grabs popcorn*

*Later, with CD-i Zelda in a cucco-filled pit*

Grimm: Alright, well, Link has to fight Riku... Oh dear god. *Sighs* Well, it was nice knowing the silver-haired psychopath while we knew him. Link... He kissed Princess Zelda.

Link: He. Did. WHAT?! *Charges at Riku with his master sword, blue eyes narrowed, before pouncing on the boy*

Riku: AAAAH! I DIDN'T DO THAT! I SWEAR! *Tries to run*

Link: *Chases after him, Master Sword raised* The only person those soft lips belongs to is me! I'm her knight in shining tunic, for Din's sake!

Riku: Your tunic isn't shining!

Link: At least I don't have old man hair! *Pounces* Fight me, grandpa!

Riku: DO NOT INSULT MY BEAUTIFUL SILVER HAIR!

Grimm: *Glances up* I have twenty rupees on Link that he kicks Riku's butt. Anyone wanna get a piece of that action? *Smirks evilly while stroking Cutie gently* I knew stroking the flames would be of use to us~

ACSheik: I'll bet 200 rupees that Riku is screwed! And Grimm, you are a genius for infuriating Link by saying that.

Grimm: What can I say, I've learned evil from the best... *Glances at Vaati and Ghirahim with a sharp smirk* I have been well-taught~ *Watches the fight, chuckling darkly as she pet Cutie* Yes, look upon the bloodshed, my cutie.

ACSheik: I think Cutie would enjoy joining the fight...

Grimm: Cutie, you see the man in the dark clothes? He ate your Ma!

Cutie: *Angrily crows and leaps at Riku, pecking and scratching at his face*

Link: *Sees Cutie and runs*

Grimm: You know, for the Triforce of Courage, you run at the most simple things! Seriously, flee into your straw house... *Sighs and facepalms* Farore, why? Why did you give him the Triforce of Courage?

Farore: *Shrugs* He SEEMED like a good candidate at the time... *Looks around the room* Who would be a better fit? Hmm... Maybe Cutie?

Grimm: *glances at Green and holds him up* The smol child will do. Look at him, he's only ten and has already kicked Vaati's butt. Now that is impressive to me... By extension, it would mean that the other Swords would have the triforce as well. *Smiles softly* Simple logic, really. *Glances at Vio with a wink* You're not the only brainiac around here anymore~

Green: Don't we already have the triforce since we're Link?

*No one hears him over the loud clucking*

Farore: But isn't he still Link?

ACSheik: He's a lot braver.

Link: *Walks back into the main room and looks at his hand* Hey, what happened to my Triforce?

Grimm: *points to Green* Your ancestor has it. Let's face it, he deserved it, honey. Until you can learn to man up, I don't think giving you the Triforce of Courage is a good idea. I mean, really. I just want to make sure it ends up in better hands. What can I say, being responsible isn't always easy. *Shrugs* But it's worth it in the end.

Link: But it's a cucco! The deadliest thing that ever existed!

Ganon: Hey, what about me?

Link: Next to Cutie, you're more pitiful than a bunny.

Ganon: HEY! I'll show you! *Attacks Link*

Grimm: Boys, do I have to intervene? I swear to the holy Goddesses above, I will show you both a world of endless misery and woe if you both don't sit. *Crosses arms* I will make you both kneel before me and kiss the utter ground I walk upon in terms of mercy. After all, I can come up with worse nightmares... MUCH worse.

ACSheik: It would be great if you could do that even if they did what you asked...

Ganon and Link: NO!

Mimi: I AGREE!

Grimm: I could If I wanted to... But I won't. Now, if you both will excuse me, there's someone I have to wake up. *Gets up and starts walking*

ACSheik: I know exactly who you're talking about. *Flashback of forcing Vaati to drink the whole bottle of poison*

Grimm: *Rupee ping* Right. Figured I'd take one for the team this time. *Smiles softly and walks towards the temple*

Mimi: This will be interesting... POPCORNNN

ACSheik: *Reads dare card* This is the perfect opportunity to do this dare! We get to force any of the characters to do a fairy tale of the host's choice. How about Sleeping Beauty? We already have a sleeping person we've got to wake up...

Mimi: Good timing!

Grimm: *Hums the Ballad of the Goddess, a large book under her arm while walking to the temple* Let's see... Sleeping Beauty...How did that one go again? Oh yeah, when in trouble, look in a book! *Opens book and scans the table of contents before flipping to the story* Let's see... *Turns red as a twenty rupee* Oh sweet Hylia...

ACSheik: I was going to suggest that Ganondorf was the prince, but since Grimm is already on her way there…

Mimi: Oh dear.

ACSheik: *Shouts out the window* IT'LL BE FINE! YOU DID SAY THAT VAATI IS HOT!

Mimi: Hopefully.

ACSheik: Or was it another character?

Mimi: Don't ask me.

Grimm: I-I have never kissed someone before... Oh geez, what would Vio do? Well... *Sighs* He'd roll with the punches and do what needed to be done. Guess I'll do it for AC's sake. She has been very kind to me... *Clutches book close to chest while walking towards the temple*

ACSheik: *Shouts out the window* IT'LL BE FINE! YOU CAN DO IT! OR, IF YOU WANT, I CAN TELEPORT GANONDORF THERE!

Ganondorf: Wait, WHAT?

Mimi: Oh dear. XD

Grimm: T-thank you, AC! *Looks up softly before giving a shy smile and walked into the temple before calling out* We tortured Ganon quite a bit, so I'll take one for him.

Mimi: Well, if we did, it would fit with another dare we made up.

ACSheik: No need to traumatize Vaati by forcing Ganondorf to kiss him.

Grimm: *glances at the camera* What? Even I have my nice moments.

*Fourth wall breaks*

ACSheik: OH, COME ON! *Hands a brick to Ganondorf* Not a problem. You fix it.

Mimi: Yup.

Ganondorf: ...

Grimm: S-sorry! Forgot about the wall! *Turns red and pushes glasses into place before heading into the temple* Now, if I were a sleeping wind mage made from a Picori, where would I be?

Mimi: Uhhhhhhhhh, in a bed?

ACSheik: Chapter 10. Remember it? I kinda killed him, and Impa put him in the Shrine of Resurrection.

Mimi: I know, but maybe the shrine evolved into a bed or something. :P

Grimm: Ohhh... Right... *Sweatdrops* Heh, sorry... *Heads towards the shrine, giving a soft sigh while shaking her head to clear her mind* Looks like I'm gonna have to get him up... Remind me to lock up the poison! The last thing I need is for it to go into an apple or something else...

Leia: *Hides a chocolate apple behind her back*

Mimi: *Takes it and chucks it at Ganondorf*

Grimm: Put it down, girl... I swear, Snow White and I will make sure you suffer. *Hugs book close to her heart*

Ganondorf: *hit in the head and the apple falls out of the fourth wall*

ACSheik: Did that apple just... Fall into the real world? *Apple flies back out* Oh, ok. I'm disappointed.

Mimi: Meh. *Shouts out the window* YOU'VE GOT THIS GRIMM!

Grimm: T-thank you... *Reaches the Shrine, looks up, and sighs, clearing her throat* Oh, what tragedy be this? A young maid struck down ever so young by such a commonplace object? Ah, but I see that Death has not claimed his bride yet. The ruby roses upon her lips and cheeks doth not fade. Perhaps, she is not wilted by the reaper's untimely frost. But rather, awaiting the chance to bloom anew in the spring of our love. *Kneels down before Vaati then gently takes a hand in hers* To hold the hand that shall bind us together is a blessing... *Gently kisses it before stroking his hair* O rare and radiant maiden, I beseech thee to awaken to thine true love... *Bends over and gently placed her lips on his*

Mimi: Ooooooooooooooo!

ACSheik: This is a lot more entertaining than I expected. You sure have a way with words, Grimm!

Mimi: Wonderful poetic lines. *Sniffles*

Vaati: *Jumps up* AGH! Who am I, who are you, where am I, why am I wearing a dress-

ACSheik: Author powers. I wanted to spice it up.

Vaati: And most importantly, WERE YOU KISSING ME?

ACSheik: Dying and waking up in the Shrine of Resurrection messes a bit with your memory.

Mimi: A bunch of side effects.

Impa: Yup.

Leia: Any other side effects?

Impa: Well, none SO FAR... But I heard rumors that it may lead to the person setting the entire world on fire...

BotW Link: *Hides a flaming stick behind his back*

Grimm: Why, don't you remember me, Vaati? I'm the girl who you kidnapped that one time... Also, yes, I did kiss you, Sleeping Beauty. Technically, true love's kiss solves pretty much everything.

Vaati: You seem familiar...

Grimm: *smirks and offers a hand* Care to take my hand? Maybe I might remind you of who I might be.

Mimi: SHE IS YOUR SAVIOR!

Grimm: Or maybe you won't remember... *Shrugs* Oh well. *Starts walking* C'mon...

Mimi: Actually, you might wanna stay to see this.

Grimm: *Stops* Why's that?

ACSheik: *Shoves Ganondorf and Vaati onto a stage* We might go deaf because of this dare…

Mimi: *hands Ganondorf a script*

Ganondorf: *sees script* I am NOT doing this. Plus, why do I have to do it?!

ACSheik: *Grins evilly* But I actually might love this dare. If you don't do this, you will suffer Grimm's wrath.

Grimm: *quietly glances at the heavens as if to say "Why me"? Before silently sneaking out*

Mimi: Hey! Where's Grimm?

Grimm: *Quietly reading in the co-host lounge, pushing her glasses into place while waiting for the others to get back from the dare. Absentmindedly pets Cutie* _Guess they're gonna be a while. Eh, I'll be fine. After all, I have Cutie. Still, I'm glad I was useful to AC. Heh... She's a nice person._ *smiles quietly while reading*

Mimi: The performance is about to start, though!

ACSheik: Yeah! Free popcorn!

*In the co-host lounge*

Grimm: Hm, while AC is busy with Ganondorf, Vaati, and Mimi... Dangerous combination on its own, really... Maybe I can help set up the next dare. *Smiles softly and stands up before setting down the book* Cutie, guard that book with your life. I have a little house call to make... *Smiles and grabs a fairy before whispering to it and letting it loose out the window*

*Back in the main room*

ACSheik: Ganondorf! Vaati! Stop stalling! Start singing!

Ganondorf and Vaati: Fine...

Ganondorf: *Off-tune* Posing here, eyes on the horizon

Side by side, the wind is blowing in our capes

We're not afraid, we're breathing slowly

This is our domain, this is where I'll rule

From right here everything just looks so dim

We're protected by the dark

Vaati: When we pose, right here, right now

In this moment, light years above Hyrule

We can take over the world, world, world

We can take over the world, you and me

We can take over the world, as long as you obey me

We're unbeatable

Ganondorf: I am your master, you are my accomplice

Another search for something lethal

We'll strut to the end of the world together

Towards the night, towards the darkness

To a time where we can rule the world

And control our kingdom, Hyrule

Vaati: When we pose, right here, right now

In this moment, light years above Hyrule

Ganondorf: We can take over the world, world, world

Vaati: We can take over the world, you and me

Ganondorf: We can take over the world, as long as you obey me

Vaati: We're unbeatable

Ganondorf: We're unbeatable

Both: We're unbeatable

Ganondorf: We can take over the world

Vaati: We can take over the world

Both: We can take over the world

We can take over the world

Vaati: We're unbeatable

Ganondorf: We're unbeatable

Both: We're unbeatable

We're unbeatable

We're unbeatable

ACSheik: *Uncovers ears* That was horrible, Ganondorf. That was actually pretty good, Vaati. And that was a parody of Nexo Knight's "Unbreakable." Mimi and I wrote it and named it "Unbeatable." Parodies are really fun to write, so I'd enjoy some singing dares!

Grimm: *Walks in* I'm back!

ACSheik: Yay, great!

Grimm: I need to clean up the cucco **()** room. I may or may not have placed a call in for a couple of friends... *Smiles cutely* Wanna help me install cameras in the Cucco room? *Smiles and holds up an armful of cameras* I know you'll love to see the next dare. *winks* It'll be funny...

ACSheik and Mimi: YESSSSSSSSSS!

*Later*

Grimm: *Walks to the Cucco room and opens the door, holding it open to reveal a tidy, vanilla scented room* So, do I do a good job or what?

ACSheik: You sure did!

Mimi: Why does it smell like vanilla?

Grimm: Because it's a calming scent. That, and it masks the smell of death rather well. *Smiles softly*

ACSheik: Yeah, how many characters died in there so far? *Counts*

Link: Me.

Ravio: And me.

Mimi: But... why not lavender?

Grimm: That's easy, lavender smells like cinnamon. It's rather weird... *Shrugs* Anywho, let's install these cameras. Could someone blindfold the Four Swords and Shadow Link for me, please?

ACSheik: Gladly. *Snaps fingers, blindfolding everyone except the hosts* Hmm, I think I kinda exaggerated…

Mimi: YA THINK!?

Grimm: Alright, everyone except the Four Swords and Shadow, remove your blindfolds. *watches the others comply before smiling and holding open the door* Boys, follow the sound of my voice to the next dare. Don't worry, it's nothing bad. I promise.

Mimi: *Crossing fingers*  
Grimm: *Winks at Mimi*

Mimi: *Smirks*

Grimm: *Nods softly and glances at the monitors set up before quietly speaking* I made hot chocolate for all of us hosts… Figured we could enjoy it while watching over that small dare~

ACSheik: *Grins* YES! HOT CHOCOLATE! *Charges*

Mimi: Got any marshmallows?

Grimm: *Holds up bag of mini marshmallows* Tons~

Mimi: YAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

ACSheik: *Dumps the entire bag in a giant mug of steaming hot chocolate*

ACSheik: Uh, Grimm? Got any more marshmallows? Mimi might kill me for doing this. *Holds up the empty mug and empty bag*

Mimi: HOW DARE YOU!

Grimm: *Slides another bag towards them while looking at the monitors* Oh! The sword is in the sheathe! I repeat, the sword is in the sheathe!

Mimi: Oooooooooooo, LET ME SEE!

Grimm: *points to the monitors, smiling cutely* They're in... Let's see. The only thing left is for them to take off the blindfolds and see what we put them in a room with...

Mimi: I actually don't know... who did you put them with? Or what?

Grimm: Well, let's just say they're about to look into a mirror...You can thank Hylia and Nayru for making them...

Mimi: Oh dear…

ACSheik: Why are you saying that so much this chapter?!

Grimm: *Smiles softly, giving a happy sigh as she heard the sound of a harp* She really has been getting better at that... It sounds wonderful. *smirks and calls out* Alright boys, you can take off the blindfolds! *The door closes behind them*

Mimi: this is going to be funny! XP

Grimm: Din right it is...

*In the room, were five girls. Four of them looked like a smaller version of Grimm but in cloaks and dresses of the Fours' colors. The one in red smiled innocently while singing cheerily and playing a golden lyre, a bluebird perched on her shoulder. The girl in blue was polishing a silver scimitar inlaid with sapphires on the hilt. The one in violet was smiling peacefully, writing in a leather bound book with an eagle feather quill. In the shadows, an incredibly pale version of Grimm lounged in the air nonchalantly, gazing at a small handheld mirror with glowing violet eyes. The girl in green noticed the boys and smiled softly, walking towards them with a basket*

Rose: Ah, welcome to you, Four Swords! We have been expecting you!

Hylia: Those...Are my daughters?

Grimm: Congratulations, it's a girl~ *smiles softly*

Hylia: They have his eyes... *Gets teary eyed in joy*

ACSheik: Wait, your OCs Hylia's DAUGHTERS? Explanation, Gimm.

Grimm: Well, that's simple. *Clears throat and Cutie hands her the book* Thanks, love. *Opens book and starts reading* The Holy Light Goddess, Mother of Hyrule, Hylia, had seen the beauty of her land and the creation that was modeled after her. Though many in Hyrule were happy, she was not. She had lost her hero, her love, and forsworn to be chaste. And so, she pined over not having a child. However, Nayru, being the wisest of the Trinity goddesses, advised the golden queen to simply think of her blessings and be fortunate for what she had. And so, one dawn, she decided to take her advice. From her marble temple, she gazed at the splendor of Hyrule; the dark brown trees of the forest, the blue of the skies, the pure snow on the mountains, and the lovely red roses in her garden. As she thought of her blessings, a soft bleating was heard at her feet. There, laid a baby girl dressed in pure swaddling clothes. The Goddess was elated, having an heir to inherit the light. Because of the child's fresh beauty, she was named Rose after the flowers in her garden. However, because of Demise, mother and daughter were split apart and Rose was a gift to humanity, to give light and bring hope to her people. *Closes book*

Mimi: Wow... pretty deep.

Grimm: Yup, it sure is. What can I say, the Goddesses work in mysterious ways.

ACSheik: *Clapping*

Grimm: I just hope the boys react well to those girls... *Smiles sheepishly before glancing at the monitors*

Mimi: Let's see them...

Grimm: *Fingers crossed, watching the screen*

ACSheik: *Chomping on popcorn and intently watching it*

Mimi: *Listening to intense music*

Rose: *smiles and holds up a basket to the Four and Shadow* Since we must spend time together, would anyone like a cookie?

Grimm: *smiles and writes in her book more, humming gently*

Little Red: *smiles innocently, singing the Ballad of the Goddess and playing a golden lyre*

Sabrina: *notices them and raises an eyebrow, setting the scimitar on her lap* Who in Din's name are these guys?

ACSheik: *Snaps fingers, teleporting five of the cookies to each of the hosts*

Grimm: *Noms on a cookie, smiling quietly* Tanks…

ACSheik: *Shoves the entire cookie into her mouth and tries to talk with her mouth full* Youf welcumf.

Grimm: *glances at the Four and smirks* Oh boy... *Giggles* Look at em~

Red: *Looks at Little Red curiously, straying towards her while smiling cutely* Hi there! I'm Red! Your song is very pretty! *Sits beside her, taking off his cap*

Little Red: *smiles naïvely and giggles, cuddling up to him* You're nice! I like you! I have a feeling you and I will be best friends, Red! I'm Little Red, it's nice to meet you!

Sabrina: Nice sword. *Glances at Blue's sword* Still not as cool as mine, though.

Blue: Yeah, right, Bluebell! This is the most boss weapon known to Hyrulian history! *He smirked* Besides, I'm the main Link!

Green: Uh, you mean me, right? I'm the one wearing green.

Nightshade: Which means that would explain why it makes me sick looking at it... *Smirks slyly*

Mimi: wait! I just realized I didn't get a cookie! O.o

ACSheik: What do you mean, I grabbed fiv- LEIAAA!

Mimi: My cookie! :(

ACSheik: Here. *Summons another one*

Mimi: :)  
Enough with the cookies, though... BACK TO THE DARE!

ACSheik: Let's see... What are they up to now? *Looks at the screen to see Blue and Nightshade fighting*

Grimm: Ohhh, it's heating up in there! *Smirks*

Sabrina: What did you just say? *Glances at Nightshade coldly*

Nightshade: Oh, I'm just saying...However, he doesn't compare to the simpering little songbird that is your sister.

Sabrina: What did you just say about Little Red? *Grabs her scimitar*

Grimm: *while reading her book* Oh now she's done it...

Nightshade: Who does this remind you of? *Coughs fakely*

Sabrina: Rose, hand me a ribbon...

Rose: Sure... *Hands her a blue ribbon* Why?

Sabrina: *Ties up her hair into a ponytail* Because I don't want to get blood in it when I send her back to hell where she belongs... *Screams and launches herself at her, scratching at her face* This is what you get for cursing my sister, you rotten, low down *beep*! I swear I'm gonna *beep* *beep* *beep* your *beep* until you *beeping* *beep* *beep*!

Grimm: Ooh, catfight! *Smiles and watches, feeling excited*

ACSheik: Nightshade deserves it. NO ONE INSULTS LITTLE RED! CUTIE, ATTACK! NIGHTSHADE HARMED OUR FRIEND!

Cutie: *Charges*

Nightshade: *hisses at the Cucco before pushing Sabrina off of her and tugging at her hair*

Sabrina: Oh, bring it on! *Starts trying to choke her*

Grimm: Yup, I made her... A girl with Blue's kinda temper... Dear Goddesses, what have I done.

ACSheik: Nightshade makes Shadow seem tame and kind! Well, (SPOILERS FOR FOUR SWORDS MANGA!) he isn't TOTALLY evil.

Grimm: He isn't such a beast, you know? I mean, sure, he was like that at first... But I know he can be a little sweet.

Sabrina and Nightshade: *Trying to tear each other apart*

Rose: I don't blame Sabrina for lashing out. When we were first made... Nightshade placed a curse on Little Red. If she moved around too much or showed so much joy, it would make her very sick. We didn't have much, but we gave it all to her. We love our little sister...We wouldn't have made it if it wasn't for that one rainy day...

Grimm: *Whistles nonchalantly, looking away from the monitors*

ACSheik: Nightshade. Did. WHAT?! *Dashes in, pushing Sabrina out of the way*

Grimm: Oh boy, now she's done it... Well, maybe This'll play out interesting enough.

Little Red: *Looks up innocently at Red, blue eyes wide before cuddling up to him and closing her eyes*

Nightshade: *She looked up, trying to keep the Cucco from pecking her face* Insolent poultry!

ACSheik: FIRST YOU INSULT LITTLE RED, THEN YOU INSULT MY PRECIOUS PET! I WILL MURDER YOU! *Pulls out her gold and emerald sword from earlier*

Grimm: Well dang... Someone loves Little Red too~

Red: *Cuddles up to Little Red, wrapped in her cloak with her and naps side by side with her*

Nightshade: Oh, a little twig of a sword, I'm so scared~ Tell me, do you know what nightmares are made of~? *Smirks darkly, floating in front of her* The darkness~ And I am the queen of it~!

Grimm: *glances at the other cast members* What? Hey, don't blame me. I had to make a feminine equivalent of Shadow... Who, frankly, might be even eviler than he is.

ACSheik: "Twig"? You underestimate the power of this sword! It's enchanted. Basically the more powerful version of the Master Sword! It can cut through any foe, no matter how powerful! *Slashes at Nightshade*

Grimm: Okay, fess up...Who made the sword? *Looks around curiously*

Nightshade: *conjures up a dark sword made of the shadows, wielding it* I will make you kneel before me, welp of the light...

ACSheik: Bring it on, you pitiful shadow! Light shall always vanquish the darkness. *Swords clash* And Grimm? That is a story for another time. *Swords clash again*

Grimm: Okay. *Watches them happily, smiling as she watched Vio and the other Grimm read together in the corner* Ah, I really know how to make em, don't I?

Nightshade: Not today, ACSheik! Defeat will be sweet for you... For Nightshade will quickly watch the fool fade with one little taste~ *smirks and shifts her weight into the blade*

ACSheik: ...You do know that I'm an author, right? I was just toying with you. And I know the perfect place for an evil reflection! *Snaps fingers, trapping her in a mirror*

Nightshade: You wench! I will find my way out someday! And when I do... I will come after you first. I'll get you, my pretty, and your little cucco too!

Sabrina: You got what you've deserved! *Looks at the mirror before noticing the red pair was asleep together and smirked quietly* Aww, look...

ACSheik: So cute! And I feel like I'm forgetting someth- THE DARES!

Grimm: Yup! Waiting for you out here, AC... *Smirks and takes a picture of the sleeping pair* Cute~

ACSheik: *Dashes out of the room and frantically grabs dare cards* Okay, what's next?

Grimm: Link has to repeat what everyone says in question form... *Smiles and looks up* We'll leave the kids in that room to get better acquainted, if you know what I mean. *Winks*

Link: Do I have to repeat what everyone says in question form? Are the kids going to be left in that room to get better acquainted, and do I know what you mean?

ACSheik: This is going to be annoying...

Link: Is this going to be annoying?

Grimm: If we need to, I have duct tape. *Smirks and holds up a roll* Alright, the next dare... AC, tell me what the next dare is~

Link: If we need to, do you have duct tape? What's the next dare and will AC tell you?

ACSheik: Let me check... *Reads card* Link needs to fall into the pit of Tartarus.

Link: Are you going to check? Do I have to fall into the pit of Tartarus?

ACSheik: *Duct tapes Link's mouth*

Link: MPH!

Grimm: Fall? *Whistles nonchalantly and pushes Link into Tartarus, smirking* Have a nice one~

Link: *Muffled screaming*

Grimm: *glances up with a smirk* Ain't I a stinker~? *Chuckles*

ACSheik: This is why you are my friend, Grimm.

Grimm: Yes, yes I am. Alright, what's next on the torture list? Err, I mean dares...Yeah, let's go with that. *Smiles at her before giggling*

ACSheik: Ganondorf needs to sing the Legend of Zelda theme song louder than Link sang Tingle Tingle Little Goat, which will be a rather impressive feat.

Grimm: *Slips on earplugs, smirking before giving a thumbs up* NEED AN EXTRA PAIR? I WILL GIVE YOU SOME!

ACSheik: I'd love some! Ganon here sings worse than a cow!

Ganondorf: ...HEY!

Grimm: *Slips her a pair, smiling* I love this game~

Mimi: *Doesn't have earplugs. Stuffs marshmallows in ears* Ready!

Ganondorf: ...How do I sing something with no lyrics?

ACSheik: WHAT?

Ganondorf: Oh, right. Earplugs. *Ahem* HOW DO I SING SOMETHING WITH NO LYRICS?!

ACSheik: I GUESS LIKE THE TWILIGHT PRINCESS TITLE SCREEN OR ACAPELLA!

Grimm: SAW, THANKS! I KNOW I'M BELLA!

Mimi: I see your moving mouths but I can't hear. Man! These Marshmallows do block out sound!

Grimm: *Gives a thumbs up*

Mimi: READY!

Ganondorf: JUST BECAUSE I'M EVIL DOESN'T MEAN I SING HORRIBLY!

ACSheik: ACTUALLY, IT USUALLY DOES! AND I KNOW HOW POORLY YOU SING FROM EXPERIENCE! REMEMBER UNBEATABLE?

Grimm: *gives a shrug*

Ganondorf: *Singing the LoZ:TP title screen theme completely off-tune* EEEEH DI BA DI DIBADIII!

ACSheik: SOMEONE! MAKE HIM STOP! MY EARS ARE BLEEDING!

Mimi: *_*

Grimm: -_- *looks at them, feeling confused*

ACSheik: *Gags Ganondorf and pulls out ear plugs* Thank Hylia it sto- THERE WAS A HOLE IN MY EAR PLUG? No wonder I could hear better than the others!

Grimm: *Hides a toothpick behind her back, whistling nonchalantly, then smiles cutely, taking out her earplugs before looking at the others happily*

Mimi: *Trying to get marshmallows out of her ears*

Grimm: Here, allow me. *Smiles and takes the marshmallows out*

Mimi: FINALLY! I can hear! Thanks!

Grimm: It's no problem! Also, I did something naughty to AC's earplugs~

Mimi: I think I can see that X)

ACSheik: I will murder you for that. My ears are literally bleeding!

ACSheik: *Looks at windows* And I have the perfect revenge. Grimm, go fix the windows.

Mimi: Oh, no... Grimm, I don't think you should do this!

Grimm: *shrugs and looks up at her* Hey, that's what you get for the marshmallows. They deserved better.)

Mimi: I think ACSheik is trying to tell YOU to do something...not me... or is it both?

ACSheik: Nah, just Grimm. Fix the windows.

Grimm: Push me out the windows, and it'll make the cinnamon roll cry. *Shrugs and walks to the window, humming cheerfully while patching up the frame*

ACSheik: *Pushes Grimm out the windows* SWEET, SWEET REVEEENGE! *Uses author powers to fix the windows*

Mimi: I feel lonely... :(

ACSheik: She'll be back.

Grimm: *Scales along the railing outside the windows before climbing in through an open window* Did someone say lonely?

ACSheik: Yay, that didn't take long! Anyway, next dare! *Searches for dare cards*

Grimm: I'm anxious for the next dare. Let's do it! *Smiles softly*

ACSheik: Found one! I tossed them aside when fighting Nightshade, so they're kinda scattered. *Reads off dare card* "The good guys have to do the pacifist run, and the bad guys have to do genocide after a pacifist is completed."

Grimm: Oh gosh...Undertale. My old nemesis... *Has many flashbacks about the Genocide Run*

Mimi: Uhhhh... I don't know like two words in that dare.

Grimm: Genocide is what Ganon does: Kill everyone in your path. Pacifist is not hurting anything at all.

ACSheik: You can make them do it, you're the expert here.

Mimi: Ok! Thanks! I'm not the best with vocabulary

ACSheik: Well, I know what "genocide" and "pacifist" means, but that was still like a foreign language to me. It's still great to have dares about things I don't know about so I can learn something new!

Mimi: Yup.

Grimm: I'm nerdy with words. *Shrugs and forces the heroes into a room* Interact with the plugged in mirrors, everyone. We're gonna play a little game~ What? It's the best way I could explain them.

Mimi: XD

ACSheik: Or we could make Link show everyone his Sheikah iPho- I mean, slate.

Mimi: X'D

Grimm: Pacifist isn't bad. Genocide is heck. It makes Ganondorf look like a kitten... Especially the final boss. *Shudders* I just hope that Vaati is recovering from his whole "Sleeping" fiasco.

ACSheik: He should be fine. I restored his memory earlier. So far, memory loss is the only side effect from dying...

Grimm: *Sighs softly* Thank goodness. I'm not completely mean. *smiles sheepishly* Alright, they should be wrapping it up by now. Should we send the villains in soon, AC?

ACSheik: Yup, toss em in.

Grimm: As you wish... *Smiles and holds open the door, guiding them in and the heroes out* Have a nice session, gentlemen… *Notices a chocolate apple on the table and picks it up* Oh! Well, I am a little hungry... *Picks it up and bites into it, blue eyes going wide, her face pales, and she chokes before collapsing on the floor. The apple rolls away from her hand*

Mimi: AHHHHH! GRIMM!

ACSheik: LEIAAAAAAAA! DID YOU HAVE TO POISON THAT?! I SHOULD HAVE SEEN THIS COMING! *Snaps fingers, reviving Grimm* Where is that little-

Grimm: *Lays there unconscious*

ACSheik: *Snaps fingers again* How much poison was on that thing?! *Keeps snapping fingers to no avail* Vaati, help me out here!

Grimm: *Still unconscious.*

Vaati: ACSheik, I really hope that you're not thinking what I think you're thinking.

Grimm: *Lays there quietly, dark brown curls spread around behind her head*

ACSheik: Sorry Vaati, but I AM thinking what I think you think I'm thinking.

Vaati: Well, she is kinda pretty... *Leans over and kisses Grimm*

The Lights: *Watch timidly from the room, blue eyes wide*

Sabrina: Who in Din's name poisoned the apple?!

ACSheik: *Points at Leia*

Grimm: *A warm spark passed between their lips before her eyes started to open* Hm?

Sabrina: *Rolls up her sleeves, grabbing her scimitar before storming towards Leia* You son of a *beep*...

ACSheik: Huh, now I know what kind of poison was used in the fairy tales.

Leia: *Runs*

Rose: *sniffs* Nightshade...Of course! It's a sweet tasting poison and acts quickly.

ACSheik: *Completely unconcerned by one of her best friends being chased by a furious girl wielding a scimitar* What? I'd be more worried for Leia if she wasn't an author.

Grimm: *Looks up at Vaati curiously before registering what happened and started blushing* O-oh my holy Goddesses...

ACSheik: I ship it.

Grimm: *Looks away shyly, pushing her glasses into place*

Little Red: *Looks up at AC innocently* Miss AC, what happened to our guardian angel?

ACSheik: *Pats Little Red's head* Don't worry, it was just a sleeping potion. Kinda.

Little Red: Ohhhh, I get it. *Smiles cutely* I'm happy that she's okay! She's been so sweet to all four of us. Because of her, I have a new friend and three big brothers! *Blue eyes sparkle*

ACSheik: *Picks up and hugs Little Red* HOW CAN YOU BE SO ADORABLE?!

Grimm: *Looks up at Vaati softly before leaning up and pecking his cheek* T-thank you...

Vaati: *Blushing furiously*

Grimm: *Starts giggling, smiling up at him*

Rose: By Nayru's wisdom, I do believe the world is ending! *Smiles softly* Isn't that right, Grimm?

Grimm (Light of Hyrule): Oh indeed. Quite the interesting love story, really. *Writes in her book*

ACSheik: So many potential jokes, but there are many more dares. Let's see... Cutie, forgive me for this. *Ties her to Link's shield*

Link: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

Grimm: Poor Cutie! My heart will love you, poor little chick!

Little Red: Aww! What's gonna happen to the chickie, Miss AC? *Looks up innocently*

ACSheik: Don't worry, just a little science experiment. *Grabs a stalfos and Link, then drags both to the fighting arena*

Grimm: By "science experiment," do you mean "horrible torture"? *Looks up* Because I've done that to some swindler in Castle Town once... Through a little person I've made.

ACSheik: Don't worry, only the stalfos will suffer. I hope...

Also, fun fact: Chickens in our world go psychotic when they see blood and will attack anything, even other chickens. One of our reviewers *Cracking sound from the fourth wall* said that and I thought it was interesting. Seems like cuccos and chickens aren't too different.

Grimm: Well, thank you, For the facts! The more you know, and knowing is half the battle! *Smiles and waves* Alright, you chose a Stalfos. Nice enemy, it moves around and attacks are best suited to be guarded against. Good choice, AC.

ACSheik: Thanks! And I better fix the fourth wall soon.

Grimm: Alright, ladies and gentlemen... Let's get ready to rumble! Here in the Coliseum, It's fight night! The feathers are gonna fly here tonight and curses are coming home to roost! Isn't that right, AC?

ACSheik: Yup!

Stalfos: *Lunges at Link, who instinctively blocks the attack with his shield*

Link: Oh, *beep!*

Grimm: Oh, he shouldn't have done that... *Smirks*

Cutie: BACAWK!

*A flock of cuccos attack the Stalfos, defeating it in seconds*

Link: HA! TAKE THAT! Thanks, Cutie! *Pets her* Wait a sec... Huh, I'm not afraid of her anymore! FARORE! I WANT MY TRIFORCE BACK!

Grimm: *Smiles* O mighty Goddess of Courage, we beseech you to bestow upon Tinkerbell over here the Triforce of your domain.

Link: ...What did you just call me?

Farore: Mortal, I accept your request. *Fancily gives Link his Triforce piece back*

Grimm: I give you an offering as thanks, O Courage Goddess... *Smiles softly and holds up a flower crown* I give unto you the life you have made since the beginning.

Farore: I accept your gift with great gratitude. *Puts it on*

ACSheik: Huh, that flower crown fits you quite nicely, Farore!

Grimm: It truly does. At least he's finally not scared of Cutie. She's a big sweetie. *Smiles softly* Any more dares, AC?

ACSheik: Yup! Ganondorf, walk backwards for a while. *Whispers something to Link*

Ganondorf: Fine. Rather pointless, though. *Walks backwards*

Link: Beep beep! Beep beep! Beep beep!

Grimm: *Smiles and starts giggling into her hands*

ACSheik: *Grins and tries not to laugh*

Grimm: *Notices* Aw, AC! It's okay to laugh! It's healthy.

ACSheik: *Bursts out laughing* I was just trying to, haha, keep Ganondorf from killing me. See?

Ganondorf: HOW DARE YOU LAUGH AT THE KING OF EVIL?! *Runs backwards at her*

ACSheik: *Laughing harder as she casually steps aside, making Ganondorf slam into the wall*

Grimm: *Giggles* This is better than the time I got some swindler to parade around Castle Town in his tightie whities~

ACSheik: You have a lot of things to tell me later. Anyway, *Tosses a beach ball at a random character* Balance this on your nose!

Subrosian: How am I supposed to balance this on my nose? I barely even have one!

ACSheik: Just balance it on your face.

Grimm: Hey, if Tinkerbell over there can pet a Cucco, you can sure as sunshine balance a beach ball on your nose! Now get cracking!

Subrosian: *Tries to balance it, but it rolls off and his hood is knocked off* AAH!

ACSheik: Huh, so that was actually what their faces looked like all along? I thought the shadow from the hood was hiding their faces, but nope!

Link: STOP CALLING ME TINKERBELL! By the way, what's a Tinkerbell?

Grimm: A cute blond fairy dressed in green that can fly. A lot of people love Tinkerbell...

Link: Huh, not too bad. Except for the "cute" part. I'm not adorable! I'm the legendary hero! *Raises sword*

ACSheik: Right, right, cute little Linky. *Pats his head*

Grimm: *Glances at WW Toon Link, MC Toon, The Four Swords, Shadow...* You sure you're not cute? You made some adorable descendants... Especially Red.

ACSheik: And we're out of time. Bye, thanks for reading, and HAPPY BREATH OF THE WILD DAY!


	13. Chapter 13 - April Fools!

**Author's Note**

* * *

ACZelda: You may have noticed that we haven't been uploading recently. Well, I'm sorry, but the dare show will have to end because of personal problems. This story will be deleted tomorrow. Please don't be sad. I am sorry.

Mimi: We've had such a fun time with you guys.

ACZelda: I'll miss the dare show, but I have to end it. I have no choice. I hope you understand. Goodbye!

* * *

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.

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.

ACZelda: HA! I got ya! Sav'aaq* everyone! AND HAPPY LATE APRIL FOOLS!

*I'll be referencing BotW a bit, but I promise I won't spoil! Just minor references you won't get unless you play it.

Link: What's that?

ACZelda: Perfect. They suspect nothing. Ready for Operation Prank, Mimi?

Mimi: Sure am! Sorry for such a long wait everyone-

ACZelda: I wanna talk! The reason we were gone is because both of us were traveling halfway across the state. Leia and Link don't know enough about LoZ to do this on their own. Also, *Holds up BotW and LoZ:TP manga* these two didn't help

Mimi: Well not TP Manga for me… got that months ago

ACZelda: YOU LUCKY LITTLE JAPANESE VAI*!

*BotW reference

Mimi: I'm so evil! I already have the second volume and the third should be coming over summer, hopefully!

ACZelda: And I get to preview it! At least that's good.

Mimi: And I can translate to you the wrong words! :)

ACZelda: I'm glad that I don't trust your translations! I will trust you with my life, but translations? Nope.

Mimi: Says the person who asks me about Breath of the Wild in Japanese.

ACZelda: You were too busy being scared to try to trick me, you cucco **()**.

Mimi: Am not! And we'll say no more for people who don't want to be spoiled of the game.

ACZelda: It was funny, though. You were afraid to even get close, but I was shouting at you to climb onto her.

Mimi: And tried to grab my Switch out of my hands! I mean, you did hit me with a pillow before and the switch controller flew out of my hand and made a bad sound against the floor! *cough cough*

ACZelda: Uhhh… You told me to do it for the video. It was fun!

Mimi: And you went overboard on it… Well, whatever. *starts to leave to her story*

ACZelda: DON'T LEAVE THE DARE SHOW! WE'RE ALREADY LATE! AND I'LL BE HALFWAY ACROSS THE WORLD TOMORROW!

Mimi: Fine, fine. I was getting to a good part, though…

ACZelda: If you leave me, I will not edit your stories until I publish Chapter 14.

Mimi: I could live with that :D

ACZelda: I will never edit again and you will have to publish with horrible grammar. And don't turn to Leia or I will lock her out of your stories.

Mimi: One, you said my grammar was getting better. Two, you can't do that with Leia. Three, I have other people I can go to.

ACZelda: Yeah, your grammar IS improving a lot, but I still get to fill your notebook with red marks!

Mimi: You damaged a whole page by doing that… Just for crossing out one word too!

ACZelda: For Hylia's sake, the pencil was already showing through on the other side!

Mimi: Now my journal has both my varying handwritings and your red messy marks.

ACZelda: "Mark," not "marks." Singular. I only made one super messy. The rest is neat. And we are getting REALLY off-topic. DARE SHOW! We'll be having a special today. No dares.

Cast: *Stand up and cheer!*

ACZelda: But don't expect us to give you a break! By the end of the day, you'll wish that you have dares!

Cast: O.o

ACZelda: Go ahead and sit down. Your moment of cheering is over.

*A loud farting sound is heard*

ACZelda: *Holds up a whoopee cushion* These things are classic.

Mimi: *comes up to Tingle and smacks him with cream pie* That too.

ACZelda: Perfect! Cutie's favorite food is cream pies! *Releases Cutie, who attacks Tingle*

Ganondorf: *Exits bathroom* I WAS WAITING FOR HOURS AND THAT PERSON WILL NEVER COME OUT! *Sits down*

*Extremely loud air horn sound*

Ganondorf: *flinches and jumps up* WHAT THE *BEEP*?!

ACZelda: Yep, I left something special for him instead of a whoopee cushion. Also, I think I accidentally left a pair of shoes in there.

Ganondorf: "ACCIDENTALLY"? YOU "ACCIDENTALLY" LEFT SHOES IN EVERY SINGLE STALL?!

ACZelda: Yup.

Ganondorf: ARGH! *Slams bathroom door and the smell of burning shoes fills the air*

Mimi: Wait for it…

*Silence*

*Tumbleweed*

*Crickets*

Mimi: huh? Why is nothing-

Ganondorf: I CAN'T GET UP! AAAAGH! WHY?! I'M STUCK TO THE TOILET!

Mimi: There we go. I put glue on the seats!

ACZelda: Nice one, Mimi!

Mimi: You haven't seen it all yet.

Ganondorf: *Somehow frees himself, flushes toilet and water sprays out into his face* AAAAARG!

ACZelda: And that's the last bathroom prank.

Ganondorf: *Doesn't hear from the inside of the bathroom* That better be the last! But I refuse to fall for another! *Tries to wash his hands, but the water is a sickly yellow-green color* HAH! I won't fall for it this time! Probably just paint. *Washes hands and leaves* Nice try with the paint in the faucet!

ACzelda: ...Paint? I didn't put paint in there...

Mimi: Me neither.

IALink: I didn't do it!

Leia: Not my fault.

Grimm: *Looks up from a book* It wasn't me.

ACZelda: *Turns on the sink and looks at the water* My Hylia… What happened here? *Calls a plumber*

Ganondorf: ...What did I wash my hands with?!

ACZelda: You do not want to know, and neither do I. But cheer up, I have a treat for everyone!

Mimi: *passes out caramel apples*

Ganondorf: I don't trust you…

ACZelda: I'll prove it. *Bites into one and shows the apple inside* See? It's safe!

Ganondorf: *Suspiciously bites into one and immediately spits it out* YOU LIED! IT'S AN ONION!

Everyone else except Link: *Slowly drops the caramel onion that he/she/it didn't bite yet*

Link: I like it!

Ganondorf: HOW?!

Link: What? I've had to live off raw monsters before.

That Hylian from Minish Cap with a name I forgot: Well, tektite souffle is a typical dish here!

Link: We don't eat chuchus! Or lynels! Or hinoxes! I've had to eat them, and they taste bad at first, but I've learned to like them.  
Chuchus, lynels, and hinoxes: *Slowly back away*

Link: Once, I was so hungry that I could have eaten an octoro-

ACZelda: *Lifts Link by the tunic collar and speaks menacingly* We do not mention CD-i. Ever. If you repeat those words, you will regret ever being born! *Drops Link*

Link: Ow. How did you do that? I'm taller than you!

ACZelda: *Shrugs*

*A rock breaks through the window, hitting Ganondorf in the head and bouncing into a goron's hand*

Goron: Ooh, looks tasty! *bites it* THIS IS SO DISGUSTING!

ACZelda: *Whispers something to Link*

Link: Really? *takes a bite* THIS IS SO GOOD!

Everyone except the hosts, Link, and gorons: *Staring incredulously at Link*

Ganondorf: The caramel onions were bad enough, but THIS?!

Link: It's chocolate.

ACZelda: Hey, there's something written on it!

Link: *Reads the rock*

Rock: *Some letters are missing from the bites* -urn me ove-

Link: I think it says "Turn me over!" *Does that*

Rock: "- took ord-  
-m a rock."

Link: "You took orders from a rock." ... HEY! You didn't warn me about this, ACZelda!

ACZelda: Happy April Fools!

Mimi: Now let's do this! *pulls on a string attached to the ceiling*

Link: *Covered with mud* Hey!

Zelda: Ewwwwwwww! Go take a shower!

Link: *Takes a shower and glue comes out* Ah! MIMIIIIIIII! *Storms out of bathroom and glitter is shot in his face*

Mimi: I present to everyone a shiny Link! A creature native to Hyrule, they are known for holding many weapons, eating raw monsters, backflipping with iron boots while walking slowly, and will kill me now.

Link: *Chasing Mimi*

Mimi: ACZelda! You know what to do!

ACZelda: *flips a switch and colorful light beams appear, shining on Link's glitter* Link's a disco ball!

*Loud music plays from somewhere*

Music: There's a ninja in Hyrule

No, you won't see em coming, but they're coming for you

We must rebuild with our resilience

No, you won't see us running, 'cuz we're coming with skill

Technology, magic, shadow, truth

I have come to win tonight

Cuz I'm a medieval sheikah (sheikah!)

I'm a medieval (whoah, yeah!)

I got the power and I'll speed right through ya

Cuz I'm living in the medieval times

Medieval sheikah, I'm a medieval (whoah, yeah!)

I got the technological power for the future

But I'm stuck in the medieval times

Some may try to corrupt our inventions

Technology, magic, shadow, truth

I have come to win tonight

Cuz I'm a medieval sheikah (sheikah!)

I'm a medieval (whoah, yeah!)

I got the power and I'll speed right through ya

Cuz I'm living in the medieval times

Medieval sheikah, I'm a medieval (whoah, yeah!)

I've got the technological power for the future

But I'm stuck in the medieval times

Mimi: Woah, ACZelda, that song is so dark for a time like this. Have you even listened to the original version? (The song was a parody of 21st Century Ninja by The Fold)

ACZelda: Nope, but it sounded like something a sheikah would sing. IMPA! IMPAZ! PURAH! PAYA! ROBBIE! OLKIN! CLAREE! NANNA! AND EVERYONE ELSE WHO'S A SHEIKAH! SING IT OR I'LL FORCE YOU WITH AUTHOR POWERS!

Mimi: You just made this part a whole lot darker…

ACZelda: *shrugs* Hey, the sheikah have a dark past. Why not? And we wrote the parody together! NOW SING IT, SEIKAH!

Sheikah: *Sing the song*

Impa: You lied. You promised we wouldn't have dares.

ACZelda: Well, TOO BAD!

Impa: Well, if I was one of the characters who was being most targeted with the pranks, I'd be glad every time you gave us a dare.

Ganondorf: Please… Dares…

ACZelda: At least I kept that promise! Anyway, thanks for reading, and see you halfway across the world if I have wifi in my hotel! SAV'ORQ*!

*Last BotW reference for this chapter.

ACZelda: *Opens door and a bucket falls on her head, spilling a liquid on her* What the- *Licks hand* Guava juice?! I love guava juice, but who did this?!

Ganondorf: REVEEENGE! Thank you for filling the refrigerators with that stuff!

ACZelda: *Glares and slowly walks towards Ganondorf* I. Will. MURDER YOU! *Charges*

Ganondorf: Uh-oh. *Turns and runs*

*Curtains close, and a sign saying "HAPPY APRIL FOOLS!" is on them*

 **Bloopers**

* * *

ACZelda: Long time no see, bloopers section!

At "ACZelda: 'Mark,' not 'marks.' Singular. I only made one super messy. The rest is neat."

Mimi: uhhhh

marks

you made more than one...

ACZelda: Not a crazy messy one like the first one!

Mimi: -_- *Spamming ACZelda with "messy"*

ACZelda: *Spamming Mimi with "neat"*

Mimi: messy

messy

messy

messy

messy

messy

messy

messy

messy

messymessymessymessymessymessymessymessymessymessy

ACZelda: neat

neat

neat

neat

neat

neat

neat

neat

neat

neat

neatneatneatneatneatneatneatneatneatneatneatneatneatneatneatneat

Both: XD

At "Mimi: *passes out caramel apples*"

ACZelda: YOU READ MY FREAKING MIND!

AS USUAL!

Mimi: hey

you told me about it

XD

ACZelda: XD, I KNOW, BUT I WAS PLANNING ON TOOTHPASTE OREOS TOO!

At: "Link: I like it!"

Mimi: YOU READ MEH MIND

HOW

HOW

HOW

I WANTED LINK TO DO THAT


	14. Chapter 14 - Nicknames and Teensie

**Author's Note. Kinda. I guess it is.**

* * *

Leia: Hi guys! Sorry I've been gone for so long. Wait…*Leans closer* Did you do something to your name ACZelda?

ACShiek: Yeah, I changed it for a chapter-

Leia: *Tackles her*

ACSheik: What the-

Leia: TELL THAT TO DARCY, HYPOCRITE! YOU'RE ACZELDA AND YOU'RE STAYING THAT WAY!

ACZelda: Okay, okay, calm down…

Leia: I AM CALM, ARE YOU BLIND?

ACZelda: *Rubs eyes* I don't think so… And I was going to change my name back anyway.

Mimi: Uhhh… What about the dares?

Leia: Oh yah! I've been gone for a while, so I'll be happy to cause misery- *cough* bring joy… to… the readers...

ACZelda: By the way, we kinda brought in a stunt double with your personality for a couple chapters.

Leia: *pulls off sunglasses that definitely weren't there before* Holy sh-

ACZelda: LANGUAGE!

Leia: -it's the order of LoCo's, they've come for me! Hide me!

(Suddenly, a hooded figure breaks down the door)

?: LEIA YOU DIRTY TRAITOR!

Leia: *Squeaks* IT'S LOCO HIDE ME!

ACZelda: *Freezes the figure with author powers* What just happened? Who are you? AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

?: *Pulls off her hood. She looks exactly like Leia, except there are scars above her eye*

ACZelda: You have some explaining to do, Leia. And I froze you, random stranger!

?: I'm a LoCo. You can't keep me frozen

ACZelda: Yeah, yeah. *Shoves her into the void* Leia?

Leia: *Sigh* The story is way too long. Basically, I got cloned, there was candy, a demon, a french girl-

ACZelda: Okay, I get it. DARES! You were the one who dragged me off my brand new Switch for this!

Leia: *Shrugs* I'm ready when you are.

ACZelda: Okay, first dare! Zelda needs to give a nickname for everyone-

Leia: This is an author's note, she's not here...

ACzelda: *Looks around* Oh, it is.

*Fourth wall cracks*

ACZelda: BUT THIS IS THE AUTHOR'S NOTE! ...Why is it so long?

* * *

Leia: Hey readers! Welcome back to the dare sho-

ACZelda: HEY! I'm supposed to say that!

Leia: *Ignoring her* Our first dare goes out to Zelda, who will be-

ACZelda: *Interrupts* GIVING US ALL NICKNAMES! Zelda? Just do the major characters or this will take years.

Leia: OOH! OOH! DO THE AUTHORS TOO!

Zelda: Okay… Link is…

ACZelda: Leia, you can be the host for today. BREATH OF THE WIIIIIIIIILD! *Runs off* I'LL BE BACK!

Leia: Wait… *Recalls chapter 5* Oh yeah, we're gonna have soo much fun...

Everyone: *Praying to goddess*

Goddesses: *Praying to each other*

ACZelda: *Shouting from the game room* YOU COPIED THAT FROM CHAPTER 1!

Leia: *Ignoring her* Don't worry, this one should be harmless. Zelda, Your dare is to give me, ACZelda, Mimi, Grimm, IALink and all the major LoZ characters nicknames. GO!

Zelda: Okay… Link is… *Looks at Link* Uh, Greenie.

Irene: HEY! Only I can call him that!

Leia: I'll allow it! *slams gavel*

Zelda: Nice gavel. Okay, next up is Ganondorf… You can be Evil... Firehead…

Evil Firehead: ...

Leia: *Snorts* Done. Next!

Zelda: Shadow Link. You are-

Leia: Emo. Next!

Emo: Wow. Just... Wow

Zelda: Alright… Leia, how about you?

Leia: Try me, Princess.

Zelda: *Squints*

*The color in Leia's skin fades to white and her pupils become slits, she bares jagged teeth and a long pointed tongue. She has oversized bat wings made of some kind of black, almost sandy or dusty substance*

Zelda: *falls back* DEMON!

*Leia's features return to normal*

Demon: Alright. Next, ACZelda, what about her?

Zelda: *still shocked* ACZelda is… Not sure…

Demon: Works for me. How about Mimi?

Zelda: Are you sure the dare said Zelda and not **AC** Zelda? Why am I doing this? Anyway, she can be the Ninja Queen-

Ninja Queen: *Breaks down door* THANK YOU SO MUCH!

Demon: Hey Ninja Queen, Wanna help?

Ninja Queen: Sure!

Not sure: *Walks through door* I lied. I had homework. Surprisingly, this is the only thing that isn't intact. *Points at a door* What did I miss? Wait a sec… What happened to my name?

Demon: Just a few nicknames.

Not sure: Why am I called THIS?!

Demon: The world may never know.

Not sure: AND WHY ARE YOU CALLED DEMON?

*Demon undergoes the same transformation as before*

Demon: No clue.

Not sure: ...You have a lot of explaining to do. A LOT of explaining. Ever since you moved, there is so much I don't know about you.

Demon: It was a long couple of weeks. Apparently, I sold my soul for a chocolate bar awhile back and now I'm being possessed soo...

Not sure: You're not as smart as you look. *Snaps fingers, returning her soul* Problem solved. And I hate this name! I need to fix this.

Not sure AC: Better. And, uh, Demon? Are you ok?

*The same funny black substances escapes from Demon's mouth and eye sockets before materializing into a figure in front of her. The figure dispurses suddenly*

Demon: Oh, I feel much better. Does anyone have some candy they could offer a recovering host? No? Okay, I get it...

AC: There's candy in the kitchen. AND NO ONE POSSESSES MY FRIEND! *Teleports after the demon with her enchanted sword*

Demon: *Summons candy with author powers* Hahaha… Illusions are the best-

AC: Done. *Sword is covered in a strange black liquid* What were you saying?

Demon: Nothing! Next nickname!

Zelda: Vaati... How about Creep?

Creep: Running out of ideas?

Demon: No, actually, that's quite fitting for you.

Creep: Come on, all I did was turn into a giant monster and kidnap her to be my bride!

Demon: Yah, Zelda, that was _**one time**_! Move on already! *Bursts out laughing*

Zelda: PICK A SIDE ALREADY!

AC: I think it's a perfect nickname! Anyway, some companions haven't been getting dares! Zelda, nickname them.

Zelda: Okay, Linebeck is-

AC: Captain Edward Smith!

Captain Edward Smith: Who's that?

AC: The captain of the Titanic. It sank.

Captain Edward Smith: Oh... At least MY ship came back!

Zelda: Navi is Annoying Glitter, Ciela is-

Captain Edward Smith: SPARKLES!

Zelda: Fi is Sword-

Sword: I calculate a 100% probability that you are running out of ideas.

Demon: No way! Sword.. It's so original. Wonder where she got it... It CAN'T be that you are a talking sword!

Sword: I detect an excessive amount of sarcasm. *Jumps back into the Master Sword on Greenie's back*

Demon: You detect correctly, Pocket Knife.

Zelda: I like that!

Pocket Knife: I highly despise this new name.

Demon: Bla bla bla bla, all you do is complain. You didn't wanna be Sword, so I fixed it. You're welcome.

Pocket knife: Your statement is inaccurate. I calculate that only 0.01% of the words I say are complaints.

Demon: Bla bla bla bla… Judge and complain and judge-

Pocket knife: I experience a feeling I am unable to identify. I lack sufficient data to be sure of my conclusion, but I believe this feeling correlates closest to what your people call... anger.

Demon: Nope. We call it "Love." Get your facts straight.

Pocket knife: Though I was dormant for centuries, I have an extensive amount of knowledge. I'm not as idiotic as you.

Demon: First, I sold my soul for a candy bar. That says something. However, my idiocy level is nothing to do with this and is hence unquestionable.

AC: HEY! We still have some nicknaming to do! And besides selling your soul for a candy bar, you're usually pretty smart.

Demon: I was hungry and tired and that bar had special packaging-

AC: YOU HAVE AUTHOR POWERS! *Buries her in candy bars with special packaging*

Demon: Yay! Wait, you're not here for my soul too, are you?

AC: *Sneaks away* I just wanted to distract you so I could play BotW!

Demon: *Brushes off her shoulder and makes candy vanish. A puff of black dust appears next to her and forms a pale hand. They high five* Alright, little friend. I think we tricked her. *Laughs*

Everyone: Whaaat…

Demon: I didn't sell my soul for a candy bar, and I know when to play dumb to get what I want. The show is mine again! *Evil Laugh*

Demon: Now then, Zelda, anyone else to nickname?

Zelda: No, I think that's everyone.

Demon: Good! Now, as an author, I'm changing my name back to Leia.

Ninja Queen: Great, I like that better anyways.

Leia: Thank you! And don't tell AC about him. *points at puff of black stuff*

Ninja Queen: I don't need to. *Points at an open door with AC standing there*

AC: I saw him. I'm an author. Explanation. Now.

Leia: Why are you back so soon?! Plus I'm an author too. Your threat is pointless.

AC: One, I remembered what happened the last time you were in charge. Two, I felt guilty about neglecting my readers, even for this amazing game. I was being selfish. Three, My threat is totally valid! NOW START EXPLAINING.

Leia: Ok fine, my little friend and I were busy taking over the world when the government found us out. They shut me down, but they couldn't get us in prison.

AC: Who was your clone, then?

Leia: Oh, that was him. *Points at puff of smoke/sand*

AC: Okay, get out. Get out now.

*Puff disappears*

Leia: Hey-

AC: You too. Finish what you started and take over the world. I'd love to join you, but I have readers to entertain. *Shoves Leia out*

Grimm: *Comes in, pushing glasses into place and cradling a book* Hello, guys! So, what I miss?

AC: Oh, hi Grimm! Well, Leia is back and there was some nicknaming. Speaking of which, Zelda! What should Grimm be?

Zelda: Hmm, after that apple incident and that book of fairy tales Grimm gave me to read, how about Snow White?

Snow White: *Face turns red, looking up at them* Oh haha, very funny... *Hides face behind book, feeling a little shy*

AC: Alright, next dare! Greenie, you have to trim the Great Deku Tree.

Deku Tree: I was needing a haircut anyway.

Snow White: *Smiles* You heard the lady, Goldilocks, get to trimming.

AC: *Hands Greenie a giant pair of gardening shears* Good luck.

Greenie: *Trying to hold the giant shears* How am I supposed to hold this thing, much less climb a huge tree?!

AC: Figure it out.

Snow White: *Glances up at him* Seriously, if you can kill the king of evil, you can get shears up to the top of a tree. Now get to stepping, Greenie!

Greenie: Fine... Can I at least get a goron to help me lift these?

AC: Nope. It's YOUR dare!

Snow White: Dude, they're just shears...*Sighs and gets an idea before sneaking out* *Comes back in with a large wooden hammer* Since you need a lift so bad...Maybe I can give you a hand with that...

Snow White: Mhm... That's what I thought. Thank the holy Goddesses that Little Boy Blue carries a hammer everywhere... *Smiles and sits down before cuddling something close to her chest*

Blue: Can I have my hammer back now? And stop calling me that!

Snow White: Of course, Little Boy Blue... *Smiles and walks over, hammer in hand before kneeling down and kissed his cheek*

Blue: *Blushing* Hey! Do you want me to use this on you? *Holds up hammer*

Vio: I saw you smile, Blue.

Snow White: *Looks up, giving the puppy dog eyes*

AC: You look jealous, Vaati.

Vaati: What? No!

Snow White: *Looks at Blue softly* Just saying... Snow White did that with the dwarves because she saw them as family... *Smiles and hugs something close to her chest, walking to the others*

AC: Anyway, we still have dares to do! *Breaths in to say the next sentence in one breath* Greenie has to braid Evil Firehead's hair while Evil Firehead is braiding Zelda's **()** hair while Zelda is braiding Midna's hair while Midna is doing Greenie's dry cleaning.

AC: Huh, looks like we forgot about Zelda's and Midna's nicknames, but we don't have time!

Firehead: I was enjoying that long vacation from dares...

AC: Shut up and do your dare. *Greenie falls off the Deku Tree, Midna's hair tie disappears, and Firehead has his Hyrule Warriors hairstyle*

*and an empty basket appears in front of Midna*

Midna: *Looks into the basket* How am I supposed to do Greenie's dry cleaning if he wears the same outfit all the time? He has nothing for me to clean!

AC: Good point. Dry clean the basket. Now get started!

Victim- I mean, PERFORMERS of the dare: Fine…

*Later…*

Midna: *Holds up a sparkling clean basket* Done!

Firehead: I hate this hairstyle.

AC: Ok. I'll get rid of it for you. *Sets fire to his hair*

Firehead: AAAAAAAAH! *Running in circles*

Leia: *Laughs*

Everyone: *Stares*

Leia: Oh yeah, I'm back, by the way. *Unwraps candy and takes a big bite of chocolate*

AC: I don't have the patience or energy to kick you out again, so here we go. Next dare. Cast, meet the internet. *Drops a computer in front of them*

Greenie: What is this?

*A brief lesson on how to use a computer later*

Leia: And that's how a mouse works!

Zant: *Scrolling* I enjoy this strange object. *Reads something* ...WHAAAAAAAAAT?! *Tackles a shadow beast*

AC: What did he read?

Leia: How to tackle a shadow beast... Without dying?

AC: Let me check... *Reads a very inappropriate comic shipping Zant and a shadow beast* ...Oh.

Leia: *reading it over her shoulder* *Whistles* That's some tough stuff, Zant

Greenie: *On the floor* ...Why do they ship me with everyone... I am not in love him... *Points at Vaati* Or him... *Points at Shadow* Or her... *Points at Impa* Or any of them... *Points at all the monsters* Or the dirt... *Points at the ground*

ACZelda: Hey, it's not my fault your boots were covered in mud when you came in!

Greenie: Not my fault that you never cleaned it since chapter 1.

Leia: *Giggles* Hehe, I'm sorry but this is actually really funny

AC: Have a heart, Leia!

Leia: I sold that, too.

AC: *Audible internal struggle* Nevermind, then.

Firehead: *Sees a meme saying "Screw Trump and Hillary, vote for Ganondorf!"* I like this.

Leia: Hey, we can't present political opinions here! *fourth wall cracks*

Firehead: I'm not fixing that.

AC: *Hands him a brick* Yes, you are

Firehead: *Prints a bunch of "Ganondorf for President" posters and runs towards the door* NO WAY! MY DAYS OF FIXING THE 4TH WALL ARE OVER! VOTE FOR ME! I WILL RUL- I mean, GOVERN YOU BETTER THAN THIS TRUMP GUY AND HILLARY PERSON!

AC: Let's keep politics out of this. Ganondorf, we're not on Earth, much less America. Give up.

Firehead: *Trying to break down the door* NEVER! I MAY HAVE FAILED TO RULE HYRULE, BUT PEOPLE ACTUALLY WANT ME TO RULE HERE! *Runs away*

Leia: Wow, that guy doesn't even know what a meme is, LOL *Pulls out tablet and starts looking for LoZ memes*

AC: Oh, Greenie, Zelda, I have a piece of fanart to show you! *Searches something on the computer*

Zelda: *Blushes and backs away slowly*

Greenie: ...Nope. *Runs off*

AC: I was traumatized by that image when I first saw it.

AC: *Turns around to see a bunch of characters attacking each other* GUYS! STOP! THAT SHIPPING ISN'T CANON!

*A while later*

AC: *Throws the computer out of a window* This thing is a deadly weapon.

Greenie: I'm not THAT obsessed with breaking pots and cutting grass!

Pocket Knife: 90% of your usage of me involves destroying pottery and slicing plants.

Greenie: Oh... But thank Hylia that evil device is gone!

Hylia: Why are you thanking me for? I didn't do anything.

Greenie: ...It's an expression.

Leia: And a meme apparently (Turns tablet around).

Everyone: KILL IT! (Tackles her and tries to steal the tablet)

Leia: NO! (Vanishes into thin air and re-materialises somewhere else) My precious…

Ninja Queen: *takes out Nintendo Switch* hehe

Leia: Ooh that thing is coooool….

NQ: Yeah! AC and I got them after waiting outside early in the morning for two hours! :P

Leia: Well that's a bit excessive but okay, AC, back to the dares!

AC: They let us in early because of the huge line. And ok! Let's see… *Shuffles through dare cards*

Leia: *Drumroll*

Mimi: *Drumroll*

AC: And the next dare goes to…

*Drumroll*

AC: More suspense...

*Drumroll intensifies*

AC: LINK! I mean, Greenie. You know what? Screw the nicknames, I'm getting confused. That was fun, though!

Link: At least my name is back… *sigh* What's my dare?

ACZelda: So, remember Lynels? Ever heard of bullfighting?

Link: No.

ACZelda: *Sigh* I have a lot to teach you before the next chapter…

*A quick lesson later*

Link: *Pales*

ACZelda: Here ya go! *Hands him a green cloth*

Link: But… Shouldn't it be red?

ACZelda: Red for bulls. Actually, it's a myth that the color makes bulls angry, it's the fluttering motion, but anyway, green for lynels because they'll think it's you and try to maul it.

Mimi and Leia: *waiting for popcorn to pop in microwave*

ACZelda: *Shoves Link into the arena* HAVE FUN!

Mimi: Wait! But the popcorn isn't ready!

ACZelda: Author powers, Mimi. Author powers.

Leia: On it! *Circus style popcorn bags appear in everyone's hands*

Mimi: YAY!

Lynels: *Having a discussion in some kind of monster language*

Link: I've got a bad feeling about this…

Lynels: *Push the silver lynel towards Link*

Silver lynel: *Menacing glare, evil grin, and flex*

Link: ...Eep. *Hides behind the green cloth*

ACZelda: I would not do that if I was you.

Silver lynel: *Charges*

Link: AAAH! *Steps away just in time*

Silver lynel: *Runs through the cloth, skids to a stop, and turns around angrily*

Link: Hey, this is kinda fun!

Silver lynel: *Dashes through the cloth again*

ACZelda: *Chomping popcorn* GO LINK!

Leia: GO LYNEL!

Link: *Epicly flips and lands on the lynel's back* HA! GIDDYUP, LITTLE LION MAN HORSEY!

Lynel: *Roars furiously and tries to toss Link off*

Other lynels: *Slowly back out of the arena*

Link: *Holding on to the lynel's mane and somehow staying on with one hand and patting the lynel with the other* Hey, it's alright! Want this? *Tosses some meat on the ground*

Silver lynel: *Stops trying to get Link off and starts eating* *The happy effect thing that you see when you befriend or tame an animal in BotW appears*

Link: Good little lynel! *Pets it*

ACZelda: *Staring in shock* Did you- did you just-

Link: Tame a silver lynel? Yep. I'll name him… Fluffy. Or Teensie? Which do you prefer? Fluffy?

Lynel: *Shakes head and growls*

Link: Teensie?

Lynel: *Nods*

Link: Teensie it is!

Teensie: *Roars happily*

ACZelda: ...I wonder if Teensie knows that that's a cute way to say "really small." Anyway, let's end this here. I'm too shocked to write. So see ya next chapter!


	15. Chapter 15 - OC Randomness

Leia: *Wearing a black suit and tie* Welcome back, my dear readers! Did you miss me? Admit it, you missed me! Regardless, ACZelda is busy hiding easter eggs in our beautiful dare show so LEIA'S IN CHARGE NOW!

 **You will now be interrupted by an AN.**

* * *

Leia: The eggs look like this **()** if you're looking for them! They're not perfect, but they kinda look like eggs...

ACZelda: EASTER SPECIAL! In case you're wondering what these eggs are for, whoever can quote at least one line with an egg in it and put it in the **reviews** **during or after Easter** will get a chance to win a prize! (Yep, sorry, I'm late with the explanation.) Every quote that is correct will be a slip of paper with your name on it in the raffle! So, more lines = more chances of winning! I won't tell you how many or which chapters have eggs, though.  
 **Prizes:**

ACZelda: You can choose **two**! (Option 1 does **not** count against this, so you can choose option 1 and two others)

A shout-out saying that you won in the next chapter

An early preview of the next chapter just for you

Become a temporary co-host for a chapter

Optional: Write what you want to say

Optional: Describe your appearance so we can add it in

Required or optional, depending on what you chose for option a: Tell us about your personality so if you don't choose option a, we can fill in for you

Get a **LoZ-related** OC of yours to join the story for a chapter. And if we ALL really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, love your OC, he/she/it might stay in the dare show permanently!

Get all your dares used asap

I'll… draw… I think… type? I don't know, if you want an example, ask for it. Anyway, I'll make a trophy for you on the dare show.

And more if we think of them!

* * *

Leia: Thank you for that little bit of info! Use it well! So, to start off the evening, We'll be assigning one of you lucky characters a dare that I thought up myself! And the dare goes toooo…. *Pulls out a card and reads it* LINK!

Link: Why me?

Leia: Oh, hush! It'll be fun. You, Link, have to punctuate every sentence three words or longer with "if you know what I mean."

Link: That makes no sense at all, if you know what I mean!

ACZelda: *Walks in holding an armful of easter eggs* Oh, it sure does! To us, at least.

Leia: Nah, it's just really, really funny. Say something totally random! That's a dare!

Link: Ganondorf is just a rainbow-matic pig, if you know what I mean. *Shrugs*

Ganondorf: Hey, BULLBO! Not a pig, a BULLBO! A boar, at the very least! There's a difference, you know!

Leia: *Pats his shoulder* Of course, of course. You know, my aunt has a pig on her ranch-

ACZelda: Uuuh… About that… You don't have an aunt with a ranch… I don't even know if you HAVE an aunt...

Leia: If you know what I mean.

ACZelda: Liar. *Sets fire to her pants*

Leia: HEY, THAT'S NOT A TOTAL LIE! SHE HAS-

ACZelda: HEY, THIS IS A DARE SHOW, NOT A FALSE BIOGRAPHY! Besides, this is going out to the word, watch what you say about yourself.

Leia: ACZelda, do you truly believe that this will reach the _whole world?_

ACZelda: Let me show you something. *Shows story stats* Where even is Herzegovina?

Leia: Wow, okay, so nevermind…

Link: It's near Italy, if you know what I mean.

ACZelda: HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW THAT?!

Leia: Hehe…

Link: I was shown a cool thing called Googley Erith, if you know what I mean.

Leia: Phtt…

Link: And I saw a very detailed map of the area the other day, if you know what I mean.

Leia: *Audible internal struggle* Eeehee….

ACZelda: *Snort of laughter* Ha ha… Dares. Dares people!

Leia: All the girls have to play FNAF! Except the hosts.

Leia: Oh, thank the force.

Zelda: ...FNAF?

ACZelda: Five Nights At Freddy's. It's a game. *Shoves them into a dark room and locks the door* HAVE FUN!

Zelda: What? Hey, wait! Lemme out!

ACZelda: POPCORN! WHO WANTS POPCORN? *Pushing a popcorn cart*

*When everyone figures out how to play the game*

ACZelda: Okay, so far so good…

*Some of the characters break down the door and run out screaming*

Zelda and the gerudo: HA! COWARDS!

*Hours later*

More characters: *Walk out* Eh, I'm bored of this game.

*More hours later*

Gerudo: Dang it, we lost. Fighting them was a BAD idea. *Leave*

Zelda: Pitiful. *Epicly beats the game*

Everyone: *Clapping and cheering as Zelda triumphantly struts out over the broken door*

Zelda: It was easy!

ACZelda: Says the person who was a ninja for the majority of a game. OF COURSE IT WAS EASY FOR YOU!

Zelda: ...Game?  
ACZelda: I must introduce you to your own games after this chapter.

Leia: I've never actually played them-

ACZelda: YOU MUST OR I WILL DEMOTE YOU! Actually, I won't, BUT PLAY THEM! YOU'RE MISSING OUT ON LIFE!

Leia: -but as far as I know many of them ship you and Link, so watch out for that.

Link: I ship her and I too, if you know what I mean!

Leia: *Bursts out laughing* OH MY SOULS!

ACZelda: HAHAHA, PERFECT! THAT FIT SO PERFECTLY!

Link: …I'm beginning to understand what this means, if you know what I mean.

Leia: I know exactly what you mean, my good sir! *Laughing*

ACZelda: Hey, what happened to Teensie?

Link: He's eating breakfast, if you know what I mean.

Teensie: *Walks in and lifts Link onto his back*

ACZelda: Link, are you happy? This is a dare show, that should rarely happen. *Tosses Cutie at them*

Teensie: *Flinches and runs*

Link: WOAH, WOAH! SLOW DOWN! AT LEAST LET ME GET OFF, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!

Leia: Hehehe, keep running Teensie! Keep on running!

Link: DON'T KEEP RUNNING, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!

ACZelda: So, Zelda, on a scale of 1 to 100, how much do you like your castle?

Zelda: Well, Calamity Ganon is causing a problem, so one.

ACZelda: I mean, BEFORE he attacked.

Zelda: Oh, at least a 92.

ACZelda: Wonderful. *Passes out bomb arrows*

Link: *Somehow came back and is perfectly unharmed* Do I have to do this, if you know what I mean?

Leia: Yes. Without a doubt, yes. What these things are, I don't know, but we have bombs sooo...

ACZelda: Explosive arrows.

Leia: Bombs on a stick.

ACZelda: Flying TNT.

Leia: On a stick.

ACZelda: Yeah, on a stick. Sure. Whatever.

Zelda: Please don't do this...

Leia: Oh, we're doing it, sweetheart.

Link: Zelda, I hope you'll forgive me, if you know what I mean... *Starts shooting the castle out of a window*

Leia: *Turns hers into a bazooka and shoots it multiple times*

ACZelda: I moved the castle here, I hope I won't crush anyone when I move it back to Hyrule.

Leia: That would be pretty funny, actually.

Groose: AWW, YEAH! I'M AWESOME AT BOW AND ARROWS! *Accidentally shoots Cawlin*

Leia: I'D LAUGH BUT THAT'S A *BEEPING* BOMB IN OUR HEADQUARTERS GET IT OUT!

ACZelda: On a stick. (￣∇￣)

Mimi: *Throws him really far out the window* Problem solved. (ﾟ∀ﾟ)

Leia: Mimi, you're a lifesaver.

Mimi: (#^.^#)

ACZelda: BUT IT ALREADY EXPLODED ON HIS FACE! HE NEEDS A HOSPITA- Actually, he deserves that.（╹◡╹）

Leia: And now he's been thrown out the window. Double whammy of 'he deserved it'. ;D

Mimi: Hehe |(￣3￣)|

ACZelda: Mimi, you sure love those emoji things… Everything we say is getting flooded by them… But to be honest, I kinda like them too!

Zelda: My castle…

Leia: Don't worry! *Fixes it with author powers*

Calamity Ganon: ROAR! *Attacks the castle*

Leia: *Teleports him into the dungeon* Don't destroy private property, you rainbow-matic pig. That's not a hypocritical statement either, don't question it.

ACZelda: Eh, he can cause the apocalypse later. NEXT DARE!

Leia: Yeah, NEXT DARE!

ACZelda: Yay, this dare makes me wear the outfit BotW Zelda wore while in the castle! *Author powers* Done. I like this! Next, Twilight Princess Ganon. Prove that Calamity Ganon is a weakling.

Leia: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!

Ganondorf: Awe, yeah! *Turns into Ganon and roars*

ACZelda: *Pulls Calamity Ganon out of the dungeon and shoves him into the arena*

Calamity Ganon: *Turns into true form* ROAR!

Leia: Popcorn! Get your popcorn!

Ganon: *Evil beast voice* Woah, that's me? I am creepy in the future!

Leia: You were creep to start off, Ginger. *Fixes tie and puts on sunglasses*

ACZelda: Wait, you talk, Ganon? Well, in the manga, I think… But do you talk canonically?

Ganon: …I'm talking now, aren't I?

ACZelda: Weird voice.

Leia: Just roll with it. He sounds weird, but bearable.

Ganon: MY VOICE IS MENACING, NOT WEIRD!

*Sudden flash of light*

ACZelda: Haha! I have taken over!

Leia: ?

ACZelda: It's me? Don't you guys recognize me? Cookies for everyone!

Leia: *Takes a cookie* Hey! Who are you?!

ACZelda: I told you, I'm ACZelda

Leia: But she would never give me cookies! She knows what happened last time I accepted candy from someone, I LOST MY SOUL!

ACZelda: First of all, you did not. That was a prank we unmasked, remember? And you got me. I'm actually Mimi as ACZelda right now. I AM THE AUTHOR RIGHT NOW! YAAAAAAAAAAAAS TIME FOR THE CRAZINESS TO HAPPEN! *Opens a random door, bunch of Lego characters appear*

Kai: Wah, where are we?!

Clay: Where did Jestro go?

Lloyd: Who are you guys?!

Jay: WILL SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN!

ACZelda: *Wacks Jay in the head* Welcome Ninjas and knights. I'm ACZelda and you're here in a dare show.

Cole: A Dare show?!

Jay: We're already in a ton!

Macy: Uhh, WE aren't…

*Ninjas and Legend of Zelda characters stare at knights*

Everyone except knights: L-U-C-K-Y

Leia: Oh no. None of that, thank you. The dare shows are great and you will not bad mouth them. Out, get out! *Kicks their lego butts out* Stay out, you blocky yellow people.

REAL ACZelda: *Walks in and sees the fake one* GET OUT, STUNT DOUBLE! *Kicks Mimi out* I turn my back for ONE second to get popcorn...

Mimi: Hehe… Yeah, I like to write darker stuff. Dare Show author just isn't like me *exits to author room*

Leia: Puh-lezz! My stuff isn't on this site because it's horrifyingly out of context and heart wrenching! Don't even try to pull the dark writer card on me.

ACZelda: HEEEY! COME BACK, MIMI! At least let me use the Chromebook, this laptop is laggy! AND THAT'S MAH CHAIR! And I see the dare show on your screen! Also, that Prince Sidon theme duet we played was fun.

Mimi: It was an epic failure… You do realize that. PS: I bet I can type faster than you!

ACZelda: IT WAS FUN! My piano is out of tune, and so is my flute. AND OH, YEAH? CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!

Mimi: NITRO TYPE!

Leia: What's going on?!

ACZelda: RANDOMNESS! I'M GOING TO NYTROTYPE! I DON'T REMEMBER MY USERNAME AND PASSWORD BUT LETS GOOO!

Leia: Get back here you random little freaks! No don't go to nitrotyp-

*One Nitrotype later*

Mimi: I WOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!

Leia: NO, STOP THIS MADNESS! YOU NEED TO GIVE OUT MORE DARES!

*When ACZelda finally reached the finish line*

ACZelda: DANG IT, I LOST! I wasn't accurate enough. The faster I type, the worse my spelling. Anyway, back on track!

Leia: Good, thank you so much.

Mimi: *Something moves behind her*

ACZelda: What's that?

Leia: Demon? Is that you?  
Mimi: *Unleashes golden Wolf*

Leia: *Grunts* No such luck...

ACZelda: Hi, Hero's Shade!

Actual Hero's Shade: *From the other side of the room* Hi!

Mimi: Uhhhh, this isn't the Hero's Shade…

ACZelda: Wait a sec, THAT'S YOUR NINJAGO OC! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THIS LOZ STORY? SHOO! SHOO!

Mimi: One, Ninjago AND Nexo Knights OC. Two, I love him so much, why don't we just add him in as a character. Also, he is now up for dares. His name is Lupus.

Leia: I thought I kicked all your lego people out already! *Summon a broom* GET!

Lupus: But I love you guys… *Puppy dog eyes*

Leia: *Hisses loudly* I could really use that demon right about now...

ACZelda: YOU DIDN'T EVEN PUBLISH THE CHAPTER WITH LUPUS! But I've gotta admit, he's kinda cute.

Mimi: Just saying, he's an overly powerful golden wolf. He can talk, too. I've just never put him in the story because it's not his turn yet. So he's bored.

ACZelda: HE'S NOT AN AUTHOR, WE'RE MORE OP!

Hero's Shade: *Turns into his wolf form* Wanna fight, Lupus?

Lupus: Oh really? I'll accept. But I'll tell you ahead of time, I don't fight single.

Hero's Shade: Ok! SON, HELP ME OUT HERE!

Link: Wait, wha-

Midna: *Shoves the shadow crystal in his face*

Link: *Turns into a wolf*

Lupus: *Howls and Nya (Ninjago) appears next to him*

Nya: A battle? With MY LITTLE BABY?! YOU LITTLE- *Tackles Hero's Shade* DO NOT EVER HURT MY LITTLE CUTIE LUPUS!

Hero's Shade: AHHH! HELP! SON! HELP ME!

Link: *slowly backs away*

Nya: *Wins* There. That'll teach you a lesson! See ya later Lupus! Don't be a bad boy. *Leaves*

Hero's Shade: My pride… My honor… My morale… My confidence in my skills… All gone…

Leia: *Groans* Guys, come on, we need to get back to the dares…

Everyone: *Ignores her*

Leia: I need attention! *Hisses loudly*

ACZelda: You know what? LUPUS IS NOW A LOZ OC! Uhh, how can we do this? Secret LoZ past involving the Hero's Shade. Done.

Lupus: Yay! I'm a Ninjago, Nexo Knights, AND LoZ OC for Mimi!

Leia: What? You know, the readers are getting really bored… *Fourth wall cracks*

ACZelda: Fourth Wall jokes are getting old. Anyway, the Ganons didn't fight yet.

Ganons: *Chatting and having tea*

ACZelda: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU GUYS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE EVIL! FIGHT!

Leia: GET YOUR LAZY BUMS OVER THERE! *Shoves them into the arena*

Mimi: By the way, I forgot to mention. Lupus is very, VERY mischievous.

Leia: Oh, we'll be great friends then.

ACZelda: Should I shove my LoZ OC into this mess?

Mimi: Through a dare.

ACZelda: I DARE OKUNE TO APPEAR!

Mimi: #AbusingTheDarePower

Okume: *Appears* *Looks like Fi*

ACZelda: Done, Spirit of the Four Sword. Read about her in my bio.

Leia: Ok, that's it. You're all bringing friends but _my_ little buddy got kicked out. DEMON! GET OVER HERE!

*Demon appears as a small, shadowy, child-like figure next to her*

Leia: Hey buddy! I missed you-

ACZelda: GANONS! PUT THE TEA CUPS DOWN!

Ganons: *Slowly drop tea cups*

ACZelda: Good. NOW FIGHT!

*Spongebob narrator voice: One very long fight later, ending in TP Ganon being knocked out*

Leia: WOOHOO, THIS IS AWESOME! *Her little demon child laughs and nods in agreement*

ACZelda: Leia, that thing is creepy. And aren't we going to write the fight out?

Leia: I don't know… And he is not creepy, he's adorable and deserves love!

Demon: *Waddles over to ACZelda and starts to gnaw on her leg* Omnomnomnom

ACZelda: Leia… Help me…

Lupus: *growls*

ACZelda: Okay, let's do one more dare and end this chapter before my leg gets bitten off.

Lupus: *Comes up with dare cards in mouth*

ACZelda: Thank you, Lupus. *Grabs dare cards* We should write a story about you or something to make you more of a LoZ OC… Anyway, *Shuffles cards* the final dare is for…

Link: *Praying* Help me, Hylia, if you know what I mean…

Hylia: *Whispers* How?

Link: *Whispers* I dunno, you're a goddess, do something, if you know what I mean!

ACZelda: *pulls a card out* ZELDA!

Link: *Hugs Hylia* Thank you! My prayers have been answered, if you know what I mean!

Hylia: But I didn't do anyth-

Link: WHO CARES, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!

Zelda: *Sigh* What form of torture have the readers decided to use on me?

ACZelda: Singing dare.

Zelda: *Groan* Why am I the most tortured person here? Dimitri, Moosh, Ricky, Blaino, that old man who gave Link a sword, that random kid Link had to save and stuffed in his pocket with the rest of his items, all have never gotten dares! Oh, and Swiftblade, Byrne… The list goes on and on!

ACZelda: Well, all are great games, but the Oracle games are kinda forgotten. Everyone knows about the first and second games, but few people play them when we've got so many more things to hype over! *Holds up BotW* Besides, you listed off the minor characters.

Dimitri: Hey, I wasn't minor! I was helpful!

ACZelda: Yeah, and you are my favorite out of the three animal companions-

Mimi: I got Ricky when I first played Oracle of Seasons.

ACZelda: I played each game three times, so I got to try them all! Anyway, as I was saying to Dimitri, you're not like Link or Zelda or Ganondorf. Speaking of which, DO YOUR DARE, ZELDA! Sing this "Mary had a Little Lamb" parody. *Hands her a script*

Zelda: Fine.

Zelda had a pet cucco, pet cucco, pet cucco!

Zelda had a pet cucco that tried to kill her Link!

Zelda would not let it kill, Linky-poo, Linky poo!

Done.

Link: Well, you don't HAVE any pets, if you know what I mean...

Zelda: It's just a song!

Link: And you DID let me get killed by cuccos many chapters ago, if you know what I mean...

Zelda: IT'S JUST A SONG! And how could I have helped?! It was a dare!

ACZelda: Okay, let's end this chapter here before the fighting gets too serious. See ya next chapter!


	16. Chapter 16 - Buried in Bonus

**Technically an Author's Note**

* * *

ACZelda: WELCOME BACK! First and foremost, we have some prizes to be given out! Time to do the easter raffle: In first place, we have…

…

…

*Dramatic pause* (°▽°)

 _Note: Mimi is currently obsessed with the emojis on her Japanese keyboard, so prepare for a ton of 'em!_

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

Link: ENOUGH STALLING, ALREADY! (｀_´)ゞ

ACZelda: Fine, fine. But why do you care? You didn't enter the raffle! And what the fudgestickles are you doing in the author's note room? o(｀ω´ )o

Link: The windows were open, so I came in. And the winner might choose to be a guest host, I want to know if they'll be kind! （−＿−；）

ACZelda: I highly doubt that, Link. I highly doubt that anyone would ever be NICE on a dare show. Even though I'M pretty nice for Dare Show Host standards... Anyway, first place iiiiiis… DANTELOYAL! Congratulations, go to last chapter, see the list, and choose TWO prizes! Option 1 has been removed since you're kinda getting it here.

Cast: *Clapping*

ACZelda: And in second place is…

…

…

…

LUCHUX! Congrats! As second place, you get ONE prize.

ACZelda: Now it's time for random announcements!

\\( ˆoˆ )/

We've inspired another author to create a LoZ dare show and I'm really happy about that! Saanen's Stories wrote one and it's at chapter 8. Check it out, the story needs more readers and reviews!

By the way, I'm creating a new story based on this one! LoZ Dare Show: Behind the Scenes. Basically, you get to see what the cast was doing in between the chapters!

I'm also writing a BotW recipe book, but I'm not sure how I'll publish it since it's not a story.

Mimi: It might be a Wattpad exclusive because it wouldn't fit the rules for this website.

ACZelda: Meh, I barely use Wattpad. I've been focusing on this website.

ACZelda: Speaking of BotW, go ahead and spam me with as many BotW-related dares as you'd like! HOWEVER, I will add a separate section for those dares at the very end of the chapter so I don't spoil anyone who hasn't played it yet. So don't worry about being spoiled if you are one of those people, just stop reading when you reach the " **BotW Dares** " section.

Also, we will have a surprise guest hosts during summer. They've been mentioned before. Can you guess who they are?

One last thing! In a week, I'll be less busy! So prepare to have your notifications flooded! (If you follow this story, that is.) I know, I haven't been uploading much. Whelp. Sorry. I'll make up for it during summer!

And that's it! Time for the chapter!

* * *

ACZelda: WELCOME BACK! Time to make up for that lack of chapters! （＾∇＾）*Looks around cautiously* Hey, Leia? Where might that wonderful little monster of yours be at? (¬_¬)

Leia: … *Looks around* The underworld? Maybe? IDK really, for all I know he's in some shady corner waiting to eat your leg… (ﾟ∀ﾟ)

ACZelda: Okay, creepy. ANYway, I was thinking… Nearly all of us hosts have pets. I have Cutie, you have Demon, Mimi has Lupus, Grimm has… well, she likes Cutie, so I'll go with that. Even Link has Teensie! Except IALink, but she's rarely here. (ﾟ∀ﾟ)

Leia: Oh, I've got a dragon too. Her name's Fire Opal. (๑◡๑)

ACZelda: Yeah, me too. I have… *counts* Uh, about 50 dragons. (￣▽￣)

Leia: Cool stuff. Anyway, what's out first dare?

ACZelda: Okay, it's… *Whispers to Leia*

Leia: *Eyes light up* Ohh yeah, this is gonna be goood… ψ(｀∇´)ψ

ACZelda: *Reading from a list* Popcorn? Check! Cameras? Check! Blindfold? Check!

Leia: Heavy things to throw at the contestants?

ACZelda: Check!

Link: I have a really bad feeling about this… Who's the dare for? Σ('◉⌓◉')

Leia: Oh hush, this first one doesn't even involve you remotely. (｀_´)ゞ

ACZelda: About tha-

Leia: Shhhhhhhhut up… ᕦ(｀_´)ᕤ

ACZelda: He's gonna know when we put the bli-

Leia: No nonono shhhh… don't spoil it! (￣^￣)ゞ

ACZelda: I'm not saying WHAT he'll do, just WHO is doing it. （−＿−；）

Leia: If you know what I mean. *Eyebrow wiggle* LOL ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ

Link: NOT THAT AGAIN! Traumatizing memories!

ACZelda: Enjoy your memories while they last. Just wait until Calamity Ganon attacks. Anyway, *Blindfolds Link* now he knows it's his dare, I have no idea why you were so desperate to hide it. ( ・∇・)

Leia: Oh you mean that he has to go pet a-

ACZelda: AAGH! NO! AFTER ALL YOU SAID ABOUT NOT SPOILING IT! ( ﾟдﾟ)

Link: *Realizes* Wait, so I'm not having to play some obscure instrument blindfolded? (O_O)

ACZelda: *Facepalm* No. That would be too easy for you. You play the ocarina, pan flute, harp, bell, grass-

Leia: *Laughing* Grass?

Link: Don't ask. (･_･;

Leia:... How does one play the grass, wise one?

ACZelda: Blow.

Leia: Blow. You just… Blow?

ACZelda: Yeah. Blow. Or press and hold the A button.

Link: What?

Leia: *Throws rock at fourth wall* Oh look, you broke it AC… (・ω・)ノ

ACZelda: Stay on this side of the Fourth Wall, Link. You broke it back in the Majora's Mask era, no need to repeat.

Link: Okay…

ACZelda: So, dare! *Shoves Link into a room* Pet the thing inside!

Link: Oh no… Σ（ﾟдﾟlll）

Leia: *Shouting* TRUST ME IT'S DEFINITELY NOT A-

ACZelda: SHHHHHH! ( T_T)＼(^-^ )

Link: I can't see with this blindfold on!

ACZelda: THAT'S THE POINT! PET IT!

Link: *Nervously reaches forward and pets something* Hey, it's fluffy! What is this? Fur? Feathers? I think it's a bird… *Hugs it* Aren't you a good little birdie… ( ´▽｀)

?: Bawk!

Link: Is that… Is that what I think it is? *Tears off blindfold* AAAAAAAAAAAAH! ∑(ﾟДﾟ)

Cutie: Cluck.

ACZelda: I thought you were over your cucco phobia, Link! By the way, fear of chickens is called "alektorophobia." (￣∇￣)

Lupus: *dashes into room and bites Cutie, shaking his head violently*

Cutie: SQUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK!

ACZelda: Ugh, why did Mimi have to bring in Lupus… Now we're all screwed. Drop it, Lupus. (ｰ ｰ;)

Lupus: *Lets go of Cutie*

ACZelda: Good boy!

Link: Please don't kill us! Please don't kill us! Please don't kill us! ヽ(￣д￣;)ノ

Cutie: *Waddles away like nothing ever happened* Cluck, cluck, cluck.

Link: Huh, nothing-

Lupus: *Tackles Link*

Link: WHYYYYY! ( ´Д`)

ACZelda: Looks like now you have alektorophobia AND lupophobia (fear of wolves)! Maybe even aurophobia (fear of gold)! (ﾟ∀ﾟ)

Leia: How can you be afraid of gold? That cold hard cash right there!

Mimi: *dives into scene* WHAT DID I MISS! I WAS TOO BUSY WITH MAKING UP HOMEWORK! BUT STILL, BAND TRIPS RULE! I don't care if I have to make up work later, going to places to perform in competitions is so fun! (๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)

ACZelda: Hi Mimi! Yep, band trips are super fun. Anyway, I think fear of golden wolves is "aurolupophobia"! Or maybe "aurlupophobia"? Or "lupoaurophobia"? "Lupaurophobia"? I'll go with "aurolupophobia." Anyway, NEXT DARE! *Shoves the shadow crystal in Link's face*

Link: *Turns into a wolf* WOOF! Bark yip woof yip?! (Translation: HEEY! What was that for?!)

ACZelda: Chase your tail.

Wolf Link: Growl. (Translation: Never.)

Midna: You do it all the time! (￣^￣)

Leia: Hehehe

Mimi: Would you *takes out a bone* do it for a bone?

Wolf Link: Gro- WOOOF YIP! (Translation: Nev- SCREW IT!) *Tries to grab the bone*

Leia: Get it, get dat bone!

Mimi: *Holds the bone outside of Link's reach* Chase your tail and you'll get it.

W. Link: *Sigh* Bark… (Translation: *Sigh* Fine…) *Starts chasing tail and doesn't stop*

Leia: Get it, get dat tail!

Lupus: *Also chases tail*

*Hours later*

ACZelda: They're STILL chasing their tails!

Leia: Sooo, we're not gonna get dat tail?

W. Link: *Chomp* YELP! (ToT)

Leia: Hehe, nevermind XP

Fi: Can I turn him back now?

ACZelda: Sure, whatever.

Fi: Okay. *Uses Master Sword to turn Link back into a human*

Link: HA! I won, Lupus! *Looks around* Uh, Lupus?

Mimi: It's his five minute break.

ACZelda: Host pets don't take breaks! Right, Cutie? *Looks around* Cutie? Where are you?

Cutie and Lupus: *Chilling in the down time room with awesome sunglasses and drinking out of coconut shells* (*^^)o∀*∀o(^^*)

ACZelda: /)_-

Mimi: It could be worse.

Lupus: *presses a button with his nose* Hehe *Wall slides up, revealing a pool, massage chairs, food court, basketball court, ice rink, tennis court, grass field, and vending machines*

Mimi: o.o since when did we have that?!

Lupus: Cutie had the idea, I figured out how to make it work and asked Demon to draw a blueprint, then Teensie built it.

ACZelda: … Woah. *Grabs a swimsuit, ice skates, tennis rackets, and money* I'LL JOIN YOU, PETS!

Mimi: Wait! But…

ACZelda: *Already chilling*

Mimi: We… have more… dares. o(｀ω´ )o

ACZelda: Oh. Right. *Drops coconut and bag of chips then walks back to the main room* Okay, dares! Hmm, I'm getting deja vu for this one. I think we did a similar dare before. BUT WHO CARES! KONGA LINE, PEOPLE! GANONDORF IN THE LEAD! AND SING THAT TINGLE SONG! Except you, Navi. Fly around Ganondorf's head.

Link: What's a konga line? (・・?)

ACZelda: *Sigh*

Mimi: Uhhhh… (・Д・)ノ

-A few minutes later-

ACZelda: That's how you do a konga line. NOW DO YOUR DARE! (￣^￣)ゞ

Everyone: *Breaks world record for longest konga line* TINGLE TINGLE LITTLE GOAT! ε=ε=ε=ε=ε=ε=┌(￣◇￣)┘

-5 hours later-

Mimi: *collapses*

ACZelda: That was almost as fun as that party I went to with Mimi and IALink and got sugar high on! *Also collapses*

Ganondorf: My ears are bleeding… *Joins the others in collapsing*

Link: Hey! The hosts have collapsed! EVERYONE TRASH THE PLACE! LET'S PAR-

ACZelda: *Standing behind him and says the following in a menancing voice* Did you really think that **I** , of all people, would be that tired from a mere KONGA LINE?

Link: Uhhh, yes?

ACZelda: Sorry, you were wrong. *Knocks him out with the flat of her enchanted sword* And without Link, we can't do most of the dares, and I don't want to wake him up just yet. Maybe I can play a couple pranks on him… So here ye go, a long bonus section, and see ya in the next chapter! Or the LoZ Dare Show: behind the Scenes. Whichever comes first.

 **Bonus**

* * *

Part 1  
ACZelda: So, I had an idea. It's a long story involving me thinking that one of Mimi's emojis looked like it was showing off its muscles and editing it. Anyway, here ya go, I will create my own emojis! Hopefully my graph won't get messed up on different screens. Okay, here's how it works: The top and left row and column will have the usual emojis. Not all, just Mimi's favorites. And they're a little altered to fit the graph. In the other squares, the emojis in the corresponding row/column will have been mashed up into a new emoji!

| | **Σ('◉⌓◉')** **ψ(** **´)ψ** | **(΄◉◞** **౪◟◉** **)** | **(** **・** **Д** **・** **)** **ノ** **（╹◡╹）** **(** **ﾟ** **Д** **ﾟ** **)** **´-`** **）｡** **oO** | **(** **_´)** **ゞ** |

 **Σ('◉⌓◉')** | |Σ(´) |Σ(΄◉◞౪◟◉) |Σ(・Д・) |Σ(╹◡╹) |Σ(ﾟДﾟ) |Σ(´-`) |Σ(_´) |

 **ψ(** **´)ψ** |ψ('◉⌓◉')ψ | |ψ(΄◉◞౪◟◉)ψ |ψ(・Д・)ψ |ψ(╹◡╹)ψ |ψ(ﾟДﾟ)ψ |ψ(´-`)ψ |ψ(_´)ψ |

 **(΄◉◞** **౪◟◉** **)** | ('◉⌓◉') | (´) | | (・Д・) | (╹◡╹) | (ﾟДﾟ) | (´-`) | (_´) |

 **(** **・** **Д** **・** **)** **ノ** | ('◉⌓◉')ノ | (´)ノ | (΄◉◞౪◟◉)ノ | | (╹◡╹)ノ | (ﾟДﾟ)ノ | (´-`)ノ | (_´)ノ

 **（╹◡╹）** （'◉⌓◉'） （｀∇） （౪◟◉｀） （・Д・） | | （ﾟДﾟ） （´-`） | （｀_´） 

**(** **ﾟ** **Д** **ﾟ** **)** |∑('◉⌓◉') |∑(´) |∑(΄◉◞౪◟◉) |∑(・Д・) |∑(╹◡╹) | |∑(´-`) | ∑(_´) |

 **´-`** **）｡** **oO** |'◉⌓◉'）｡oO |）｡oO|΄◉◞౪◟◉｀）｡oO |・Д・）｡oO|╹◡╹）｡oO |ﾟДﾟ）｡oO | |_´）｡oO |

 **(** **_´)** **ゞ** | ('◉⌓◉')ゞ | (´)ゞ | (΄◉◞౪◟◉)ゞ | (・Д・)ゞ | (╹◡╹)ゞ | (ﾟДﾟ)ゞ | (´-`)ゞ | |

ACZelda: Done. It was random, but I hope that it was at least a bit amusing! The ones with the ΄◉◞౪◟◉｀and ﾟДﾟ faces are my favorites.

Part 2

ACZelda: I felt like writing a LoZ poem about Link's journey in BotW. Don't question it, it's a long story. But here ya go! It's split into parts depending on the region, so I'll put only a few parts for now. It's based on my experience playing BotW!

 **Warning: Minor BotW spoilers!**

 _Great Plateau_

I just woke up from a 100 year sleep,

I lost all my memories

Since my slumber was so deep.

The old man who helped me

On my lengthy quest

Told me to solve puzzles

And I will do my best.

As I search for shrines

To get a brand new rune,

My sheikah sensor chimes;

It rings all afternoon.

Even though it's annoying,

Its helpfulness is great!

Without it, my search would lengthen

And forever the king would wait.

Now I got a paraglider

Off the plateau, I will glide

Now I am on foot,

But soon I'll find a ride.

 _Kakariko Village_

Epona I named my steed,

She's the legendary horse.

She has lightning speed

And jumps with great force.

Her coat is reddish-brown,

Her mane is snowy white.

I ride to a Sheikah town

I'll get there before night.

I have arrived at a wonderful place.

Oh how I love Kakariko Village!

I want to grab those apples,

But from Sheikah, I won't pillage.

Now I have met Impa.

She told me of the past.

I also met young Paya.

She spoke shyly, and very fast.

Now I'll go to Hateno!

Purah will offer to assist.

Let's go- Ooh, a meadow!

Exploration, I can't resist!


	17. Chapter 17 - Leia in the Limelight

**Author's Note**

* * *

ACZelda: And I successfully broke every single promise that I made last chapter about uploading often. I'm so sorry, everyone! I was traveling for a month, stuff happened, and here we are. No chapters in two months. But apologies and excuses won't turn back time. The most important thing is that we've got a new chapter! This time, starring Leia! She was the only one who wasn't too busy this summer, so prepare for a chapter full of fandom references, darkness, and laughter!

By the way, thank you all SO MUCH for your patience! Mimi has been dealing with some rude and impatient readers, but you guys are the complete opposite. You're awesome. Thank you!

* * *

Leia: *Dramatic Voice* Welcome to Night- Er, *Cough* Back to the Dare Show!

ACZelda: Dang, you beat me to it! I'm the one who says that!

Leia: Yah, but I snuck in a reference-

Mimi: Do any of your references ever make sense, Leia?

Leia: Not to you maybe. *Eyebrow Wiggle*

ACZelda: How about we just do the dares?

Leia: Good idea. What's the first one? *Reaches for dare cards*

ACZelda: *Grabs the cards first*

Leia: *ACZelda voice* Dang, you beat me to it!

ACZelda: Ha, ha. Very funny.

Leia: I know! *Falis at hair flip and whacks self* *Holding nose* I'm hilarious! Ow...

ACZelda: *Ghirahim voice* Dang, you beat me to it!

Ghirahim: Hey, my hair flips are FABULOUS! *Hair flip fail worse than Leia's* OW!

Leia: *Cough cough* Dares! ACZelda?

ACZelda: Okay, this one is for Minish Cap Link, Ezlo, and Vaati. You've got to talk in the Picori language for a chapter!

Disembodied voice: The what?

Everyone: *Looks horrified*

Leia: Chill guys he's with me. And the voice has a point. What's the Pie corey… whatever it was you said?

ACZelda: How long will it take for me to make you play a LoZ game… Minish Cap costs 8 bucks, get it! Anyway, try to say something, Link.

MC Link: Pico? Rico pi- PICORI!

ACZelda: Yay, it worked!

Leia: I like this actually...

MC Link: RICIPO PICO POCORI! PICO PICO!

Vaati: Pico, picori.

Ezlo: PICO, RIPI PICI PICORI! *Attacks Vaati*

Leia: Pico pico! Yayy- er, PICO!

ACZelda: I'm really curious to know what they're saying… But we can do that later! NEXT DARE!

Link: Ripico pico picori...

ACZelda: Shut up, Link. The only people who understand you are them *Points at a spot on the ground,* so don't even bother trying to communicate with anyone else. Okay, since MC Link is a toon Link and these other dares are probably for the usual Link, that last dare shouldn't be a problem.

Mimi: Awwwwwww, am I the only one who finds their talking cute.

ACZelda: Okay, I'll admit it, it's adorable. But I can listen to it anytime, just ask the picori! And I CAN translate it since I'm the author, but I won't. Don't ask why, I have my reasons. And we have dares! Next, *Reads dare card* Ooh, you're going to like doing this one, Leia! *Hands it to her*

Leia: *Reads card* *Sniff* You know me so well… *Hugs her* Link, you now must say "Well _excuuuuuse_ me, princess!" Every time before speaking to anyone.

Link: Well _excuuuuuse_ me, princess! But why do I always get dares like this?

Leia: I know what you mean, but this one wasn't me actually me! One of our beautiful fans recommended it! *Waves at fourth wall and smiles*

Mimi: Wait, Leia! Don't…

*Wall crashes*

ACZelda: Ganondorf, you'll be very busy later fixing that. Okay, the next dare! Link, this one's also for you, and you are not going to like it.

Link: Well, _excuuuuuse_ me, princess! When have I ever had a dare I like?

Mimi: Uhhhhh, one with kissing Zelda?

Link: Well, _excuuuuuse_ me, princess! But Zelda's a terrible kisser.

Zelda: *slaps him in the face* WELL EXCUUUUUSE YOU!

Leia: LOL XD

ACZelda: Okay, back on topic! Link, the dare is for you to become a girl.

Link: Well, _excuuuuuse_ me, princess! But… What?

Leia: You are going to be a girl for this entire chapter. *Looks back at ACZelda* That's what you said right? We didn't mumble?

ACZelda: Nope. *Author powers* Have fun, Link!

Groose: *Whistles* Hey, beautiful!

Female Link: *Slaps him* NO.

Leia: Yoo, let's give him a girl name!

ACZelda: Linkle.

Leia: Lilith.

ACZelda: Linka.

Leia: Leia.

ACZelda: Linklelilithlinkaleia.

Leia: Madam Linklelilithlinkaleia II Esqire.

ACZelda: Madam Linklelilithlinkaleia II Esqire Junior.

Leia: Done.

Madam Linklelilithlinkaleia II Esquire Junior: Well, _excuuuuuse_ me, princess. This is the most ridiculous name I've ever been given.

ACZelda: It's beautiful!

Leia: It suits you!

ACZelda: What next? Oh, outfit! *Tosses a variety of sparkly dresses and tutus at Linklelilithlinkaleia*

Leia: How about instead of feminizing him to that extent we give him battle armor similar to his original clothing but more practical given his new build?

ACZelda: Not humiliating enough.

Leia: It's too stereotypical!

ACZelda: Okay, you're in charge of his outfit. Have fun!

Leia: Okay… *Snaps fingers*

*Linklelilithlinkaleia is now wearing a giant poofy dress bigger than any ACZelda had thrown at her*

Leia: Yea? Nay?

Madame Linklelilithlinkaleia II Esq. Jr.: Well, _excuuuuuse_ me, princess! PLEASE NO!

Leia: Finnneeee…. *Snaps much less enthusiastically*

*Linklelilithlinkaleia is now wearing clothing almost identical to how it was before*

ACZelda: Did you really just listen to a request of one of our victi- I mean, guests?

Leia: She looks better in this!

ACZelda: Yeah, she does.

Leia: *Mumbles under breath* She's actually really cute…

ACZelda: What?

Leia: *Cough cough* Nothing! *Awkward smile* Next dare! AC?

ACZelda: This one is perfect for that previous dare! Link needs to go on a date with other Links. *Shoves female Link at toon Link* Have fun!

Leia: *Dying of laughter* Zelda, your girl just got away...

Zelda: ...

ACZelda: Okay, next dare! *Hands Leia the dare cards* You may do the honors.

Leia: I would be my pleasure, Dearest AC! *Comically bows so low that her hair hits the ground*

Leia: *Pulls card* Oh this is gonna be so good… *snaps fingers*

*Leia is now dressed exactly as she was in the first chapter with her 'Han shot first', boots, and cinna bun hair*

Leia: WE ARE RECREATING THE DUEL OF FATES FROM STAR WARS!

ACZelda: This is going to be great! *Tosses lightsabers at Linklelilithlinkaleia, Toon Link, and Ganondorf*

Leia: Wait, when did Madam Linklelilithlinkaleia II Esquire Junior get back?

Leia: Oh, who cares! Madam, you are playing Qui-Gon Jinn! Toon Link, you are playing Obi-Wan Kenobi! Ganondorf, you are playing Darth Maul! *Snaps fingers*

*All participants are now wearing their assigned costumes*

ACZelda: I hope the real Obi Wan, Qui-Gon, and Darth Maul won't mind that I'm using the actual lightsabers for this…

Leia: I'm sure they won't!

*A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away*

Leia: *Singing the Star Wars theme song in the background*

Leia: *Glitches* Huh? Oh no. Not again!

*She looks down at hands, which are now a pale gray. She blinks, her eyes and glasses have changed. Her whites are now yellow, her pupils are black and murky blue. In her left eye, she has seven pupils, 6 small ones in a ring around a slightly smaller than average one in the center. She has horns in a candy corn color scheme, one ends in a crescent and one that ends in a barb/hook. Her clothes have changed too, She is wearing a black shirt with the Scorpio symbol in the same blue as her eyes. Her left arm has been replaced by a metal prosthetic one. She has a jacket, red shoes, and jeans.*

Leia: *Now know as Serket* Oh Nononono not in the middle of a Star Wars battle!

ACZelda: Leia, are you ok?

Serket: *Glitches again* I'm 8etter than ok! HeheheHAHAHA!

Serket: _I'm Homestuck._

Mimi: What's Homest-

ACZelda: DO NOT ASK THAT QUESTION!

Serket: *Slides up to her* *Stage whispers* Hush my Morial, _Lemme tell u a8out Homestuck._

ACZelda: No, no, NO, we will be having none of that, thank you! *Banishes her with author powers*

Mimi:... Whaaat just happened?

Serket: YOU CAN NOT 8ANISH ME!

Mimi: Huh?

ACZelda: There's nothing we can do now. *Face darkens* Homestuck has her now.

Madam Linklelilithlinkaleia II Esquire Junior: Well, _excuuuuuse_ me, princess. But what is a Homestuck?

Serket: *Crashes through window* HOMESTUCK IS AN INTERACTIVE WE8 COMIC A8OUT 4 KIDS WHO PLAY THIS GAME CALLED SU8UR8 AND ACCIDENTALLY END THE WORLD AND HAVE TO PLAY THE GAME TO CARRY OUT QUESTS ON THEIR OWN UNIQUE PLANET TO EVENTUALLY 8ECOME GODS OF A NEW DIMENSION THAT HUMANITY WILL RE8UILD ITSELF IN WITH THE HELP OF 12 TROLLS WHO REPRESENT EACH HOUSE ON THE ZODIAC. THEY EVENTUALLY ALL MEET UP ON THERE NOW APOCALYPSED HOMEWORLD AFTER FINISHING THEIR QUESTLINES TO DEFEAT THE 8LACK KING AND THE WHITE QUEEN'S ARMIES (8ASICALLY CHESS PIECES) AND ALL THE OTHER MAIN 8AD GUYS *Cough* It's actually really funny 8ut also really sad and I seem to have accidentally turned into my favorite character, who represents my own house on the zodiac. Scorpios unite!

*Leia has returned to normal after her much-needed rant*

Leia: *Cough* Woo, ok, I think I'm better now. Plus, Anna, don't feel left out you're my Morial too (I know I should only have one, watch me care)

Mimi: ...

ACZelda: ...

Madame Linklelilithlinkaleia II Esq. Jr.: Well, _excuuuuuse_ me, princess! ….

Demon: ...

Literally everyone: ...

Homestucks hiding among us: :D Aww yiss…

ACZelda: And this is what happens when Leia gets into a new fandom. But I would NEVER go off topic on the dare show.

ACZelda: …

ACZelda: …

ACZelda: Okay, maybe just one or two (thousand) Fire Emblem references. I'm currently obsessed. Your fault, Mimi!

Mimi: Hey, what did I do?

ACZelda: Introduced me to Fire Emblem. Wait, it's not your fault. Blame Takumi. Anyway, we had a Star Wars battle to do! Enough fandom references!

Leia: Waz Fire Emblem? It sounds cool…

ACZelda: *Grins* I am so glad you asked that. *Clears throat* Fire Emblem is a Nintendo strategy game awesome enough to rival LoZ.

Leia: Oh my, you're like the biggest LoZ fangirl ANYWHERE this must be soo hard for you to say...

ACZelda: LoZ is still the best video game ever, though. Anyway, the games take place in different dimensions all involving magic and stuff. If you're going to play it, start with Fates: Birthright. Basically, there are two kingdoms ravaged by senseless war and you, Corrin, have to stop it. But will you side with the family you were born into or the family you were raised with? Or will you not side with any and uncover the mysteries of Valla, the destroyed world? Oh yeah and you can turn into a dragon and that's just awesome. Just, whatever you do, DO NOT play this game if you're below 13. AnD EvErYOnE frEAkINg DiEs In ThAt GaME My HeArT hAS BeEn BrOkEN mOrE tIMEs ThAN ThE FOurTh waLL!

Leia: Always a pleasure ranting with you. I don't mean to brag but Hussie killed off pretty much everyone at least once, brought them back, and killed most of them, like, three more times.

ACZelda: Okay, wow. One character was killed twice, though. And got possessed by a demon.

Leia: *raises an eyebrow* Go on...

ACZelda: He jumped off a wall too. Let's see, who else dies? Well, a magical explosion kills everyone in a town, this guy commits suicide, this other guy commits suicide, oh yeah and that guy commits suicide too. All to save Corrin.

Leia: How's this; You play Homestuck and I play Fire Emblem. Lose-Lose, we both become fandom trash.

ACZelda: *Shakes hand* Deal!

Leia: *Hand ignites and satanic symbol flashes on both palms* *Demon voice* _**Deal!**_

Leia: Sorry, It keeps doing that for some reason. Ever since… *Flashback to that one time she sold her soul for infinite power* *Flash back to that other time she promised first born to that one witch for infinite life* *Flashback to the other time she promised her first born to that one demon for infinite money* *Flash forward to that one epic custody battle that followed* Yeah it was probs that _first_ thing. Still waiting to get paid over here… *Clock ticks in background* Still waiting to get paid.

ACZelda: By the way, you have a choice: Fire Emblem or LoZ.

Leia: Mmm, how about we let the readers chose? Vote FE or LoZ in the comments and I'll play which everyone wins!

ACZelda: Woo! I think I know which will win. *Points at the "Legend of Zelda" in the title* So, back to the dares?

Leia: We'll just have to wait and see! Back to the Battle of Fates?

ACZelda: Yup! So, where did we leave off?

*Flashback*

 _Leia: Oh, who cares! Madam, you are playing Qui-Gon Jinn! Toon Link, you are playing Obi-Wan Kenobi! Ganondorf, you are playing Darth Maul! *Snaps fingers*_

 _*All participants are now wearing their assigned costumes*_

 _ACZelda: I hope Obi Wan, Qui-Gon, and Darth Maul won't mind that I'm using the actual lightsabers for this…_

 _Leia: I'm sure they won't!_

 _*A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away*_

 _Leia: *Singing the Star Wars theme song in the background*_

*Flashback ends*

ACZelda: You may do the honors, Leia.

Leia: ...I don't mean to sound like a fake fan over here, but It's been a really long time since I saw the prequels (the original trilogy is sooo much better and we all know it) Why don't you do it?

ACZelda: Well, uh… I haven't watched the prequels in years. We need to know the details for this dare.

Leia: How about we come back to this one later. Suspense! (dun dun duuuun!)

ACZelda: Sorry, Star Wars fan readers! Anyway, next dare!

Leia: *Single tear rolls down cheek* I've let my fandom downnnn… Oh, wait, I can turn off my sad now that I have no soul. The perks of this thing! 10/10, would recommend to all my buddies out there. 3

ACZelda: Okay… ANYWAY, the next dare is for Madame!

Madame Linklelilithlinkaleia II Esq. Jr.: Well, _excuuuuuse_ me, princess! Aww, another one?

Leia: Quit complaining Linklelilithlinkaleia II Esq. Jr, It's not ladylike! *Wonk*

ACZelda: Wonk? Did you mean 'Wink'?

Leia: *Wonk Wonk* Hehe, more Homestuck references...

ACZelda: *Desperately tries to think of a Fire Emblem reference involving winks*

Leia: Hehe, anyway, Madam Linklelilithlinkaleia II Esq. Jr. needs to follow me so we can discuss this in private. We can't have Zelda hearing it, as your course of action will affect her directly.

*Leia leads Madam Linklelilithlinkaleia II Esq. Jr into a separate room and informs him of his dare*

Leia: *Comes out* Ok Ladies and dudes were heading to the new mountain in the backyard so move it!

Mimi: There's a new mountain?

ACZelda: I hope no one gets crushed when I teleport Death Mountain back to Hyrule... And we need it for Link to-

Leia: Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhut your face it's a surprise...

*5 minutes later*

Zelda: LINK?

*"Link" is at the top of Death Mountain*

Leia: You know that's not her name right?

Zelda: *death glare*

Leia: Well, _excuuuuuse_ me, princess!

Zelda: *Eyeroll* LINK?

Leia: *Humming Stayin' Alive*

ACZelda: Ok, Leia, the Homestuck references are getting old.

Leia: It wasn't a Homestuck reference, it was was a Sherlock reference! Do your research!

Mimi: ...Was that back to back referencing?

Leia: You've got to admit that's se-

Zelda: Enough! Whats Link doing up there?

ACZelda: Three, two, one….

*Madam Linklelilithlinkaleia II Esquire Junior suddenly jumps off the cliff, sets up his paraglider mid air, epically lands on Epona, rides up to Zelda, jumps over her, dismounts midair, and lands in a kneel in front of her*

Madam Linklelilithlinkaleia II Esquire Junior: *Pulls out a ring* Zelda, will you marry me?

Zelda: *Gasps* Of cour- Wait this was the dare wasn't it-

Leia: ANDDDD THAT'S IT FOR TODAY READERS have a beautiful day! 3

ACZelda: STOP STEALING MY LINES!


	18. Chapter 18 - We're Back! Dare-a-Thon

ACZelda: *Crashes in through the roof* WE'RE BACK! Let's stuff as many remaining dares as possible into this chapter to celebrate our return! It's Dare-a-Thon time!

Mimi: *Runs on stage dabbing furiously*

ACZelda: Oh, hey Mimi! That was a very… interesting entrance.

Mimi: My senpai does it at parties or when things get riled up… I might have picked it up XP

ACZelda: Blame Marching Band. NOW, ONWARDS TO THE SPECIAL!

Mimi: LET'S CRASH COURSE IT!

Leia: *Appears on stage in an explosion of glitter. The glitter settles on her face and clothes* Wassup muh dudes and my ladies?

ACZelda: ...Let me guess. Your senpai also does that at parties?

Leia: Senpai - (n) One who will never notice me; A mentor or teacher; Someone to be looked up to; More often than not regarded as an unrequited love interest. I'm very hard to miss. *showers her with glitter*

ACZelda: Fair enough. *Buries everyone in papers with unused dares and ideas* We have a lot to do, so let's get started! *Hears something from the real world* Shoot, I'll be right back. You're in control now, Mimi! *Runs off*

Leia: Wh- Why her?

Mimi: *Ignores her* First off! *Snaps making clicking sound for Nintendo Switch* Since there's already been a lot of walls broken already, why not break another? It'll also be two dares at once!

Mimi: Now, Ganondorf, Link, Zelda! Get as close as you can to this… thing, without getting sucked in and falling off the edge!

Link: Ok… What's on the other edge, anyway? *slowly walking along the edge*

Zelda: There seems to be another world.

Mimi: Trust me, that world won't kill you. Unless you're Ganondorf. Some people don't like you trying to kill Link all the time.

Ganondorf: People? What people?

Mimi: People from my world.

Link: Wait a sec… does that mean whatever that broke is...

Mimi: The 4th wall! *Breaks wall and shoves three to other side*

Ravio: Woah! Are they okay?

Mimi: Why don't you find out for yourself? *Also shoves him* Who's next! *Starts shoving all characters through 4th wall*

ACZelda: *Walks in* Finally some free time to torture- *Looks around to see no one on stage* Where did they all go?

Mimi: *Whispers nonchalantly and kicks a pair of hands dangling off of the edge*

Tingle: *Screams and falls*

ACZelda: I have a feeling that you really enjoyed doing that, Mimi.

Tingle: *Gets blasted back out of the Fourth Wall and hits the Second Wall*

Mimi: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA :)

Leia: What were 'Tingle's' parents were smoking when they named him?

Mimi: *shrug*

ACZelda: ...Mimi, Leia, run. Fictional characters can't enter the real world.

*Characters start getting blasted back out of the Fourth Wall*

Mimi: Oh sh- *Runs*

ACZelda: *Summons a Fifth Wall to hide behind*

Mimi: WHAT'S UP WITH ALL THESE WALLS TODAY?!

ACZelda: I mean, we can't have a room without four walls, so...

Mimi: But a 5th wall?!

ACZelda: Meh.

Leia: *Hides with her behind the fifth wall*

Mimi: *Sighs* Whatever… Next dare!

*Characters are still flying and thumping against the other four walls*

ACZelda: Maybe we should wait a tiny bit longer...

*Zelda crashes through*

Mimi: Nah! Ok Zelda! Mimic anyone you want!

ACZelda: *Steals and uses Link's Cane of Byrna just in case any more characters fly through*

Zelda: *Stands up and dusts self off* Fine. Oh hey look at me! I'm a super annoying person who always has a writer's block, plays the flute, and likes to torture people.

Mimi: … Who are you trying to imitate?

ACZelda: ...Two people here match that description, but just in case… *Threateningly wields the can of Pacci and Somaria*

Zelda: Ok, then I'll add something else. *Sprays black glitter* Yo I'm an obsessive sociopath who is probably a gay satanist.

Leia: ME ME THAT'S ME

Zelda: Right, uh… *Hair flips* Hey guys I gotta go study- get A's on everything, gotta be that studious Asian.

Mimi: …

Leia: Ohh, she got you there.

ACZelda: *Hands Mimi all of the canes she stole from Link*

Mimi: How did you know that my friend nicknamed me "Studious Asian"...

Zelda: *Shrug* It seemed fitting.

Mimi: Well what you said was wrong. I would like A's but I'm not forced to have them if I know I'm trying my hardest. Also, I HATE THAT NICKNAME! YOU HEAR THAT (insert a friend's name)! STOP CALLING ME THAT!

Leia: *Crazed laughter* *Flashbacks to parents flipping out over a 'B'* I swear that Spanish test covered stuff I'd never even seen...

ACZelda: I agree with Mimi about the grade thing she said. Leia, get help. And hey, while we're at it, we have more dares for Zelda! Spin on your head. *Takes Cane of Pacci back from Mimi*

Zelda: Without a helmet?

Mimi: Yes.

ACZelda: And I can help you get started if you'd like. *Menacingly waves Cane of Pacci*

Zelda: *Tries to spin on her head*

Mimi: *Talks over to ACZelda* You know, this reminds me of two friends I knew back in elementary school. They performed head spins in front of the class.

ACZelda: Wasn't that back in Second Grade when dinosaurs roamed the earth?

Leia: Nah, dino's died off when we were in first grade, second grade was the year of skeletal parkour.

Mimi: XD

Zelda: *Stops spinning and can't stand up straight* I think…*coughs* I might have lost a couple of brain cells… *faints*

Mimi: Aaaand that's why we wear helmets kids! Reminds me of the time the ninja-

ACZelda: Woah, stop right there Mimi! You… and Leia, are no longer allowed to make any references to Star Wars, Ninjago, and Nexo Knights!

Mimi: B-but, but! *Eye twitch and starts to cuddle Porg since she just watched The Last Jedi twice, then watches Star Wars videos on phone*

ACZelda: ...You got a porg? *Summons one for herself* And the purpose of that dare has completely fallen apart.

Mimi: *Porg disappears and video crashes* WHY IS ACZELDA'S PORG NOT DISAPPEARING!

ACZelda: I think the dare only applies to you and Leia! *Hugs porg tighter*

Leia: AW HECK NO I WANNA CRYSTAL CRITTER! *Undoes her curse and cuddles crystal critter*

ACZelda: Ooh, I want one too! *Takes it from Leia and curses her again* And you can't do that, you have a dare to do!

Leia: YoU cAn FiGhT mE *Unholy screeching* RaGe MoDe HaS bEeN InVoKeD *Long stream of bleeps*

ACZelda: ChAlLeNgE aCcEpTeD! *Throws porg at her*

Mimi: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *Lunges for Porg but it dissolves as soon as she touches it*

ACZelda: *Gasp* *Dramatic pose* How dare you hurt Porgy? *Summons another one* Porgy Jr! I have such great skills at naming things.

Mimi: Oh sure you do. *Crying, then opens a letter while sniffling* W-well L-link n-n-needs to have a b-bad time… WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

ACZelda: The stages of depression are starting. *Dark sound effect*

Link: Well, I'm already having a pretty bad- *Random wrecking ball hits him. Mimi sat on top of the wrecking ball and sucks thumb while it swings, ramming Link into the wall multiple times*

ACZelda: ...Are you sure that this is what our reviewer meant?

*Anvil falls from the sky, followed by an anchor, a piano, and a bathtub fall from the sky*

Leia: *Holding remote* Heh heh *Presses button and a truck full of bricks crushes the other falling objects and Link*

ACZelda: That's not what we were supposed to do... Meh, I guess it works for now. As long as Link suffers, it's entertaining! Besides, we can always redo it later. Anyway, our next dare is for Ganondorf!

Ganondorf: Can I not listen to the two suffer more?

Mimi and Leia: *Hugging each other*

ACZelda: Sorry, nope. They have a dare to do. And so do you!

Ganondorf: *Gets hit by a letter then opens it.* I need to sing the theme song for LoZ as loud as possible. How do I even sing something with no lyrics?

ACZelda: I don't know. It kind of had lyrics in the Twilight Princess title theme. Just figure something out, bacon breath.

Mimi: JUST SING THE THEME SONG LIKE A CHOIR!

Ganondorf: *sigh* LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA LALALA LA LA LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA LAAAAAA LA LA LA LALALAAAAAAAAAAAAA! LA LA! LA LALALALALAAAAAAAAAAAA! LALA LALALA LAAAAAAAAAAAA! LALA LALA LALAAA! LA LALALALAAAAAAA! LA LA LALALALAAAAAA! LA LA LALALALAaAaAaAaAaAa- *Terrible voice crack*

Link: *Throws him in a trash can* So loud!

ACZelda: Oh, hey Link! How did you get out from under the pile of stuff we threw on you? Actually, how are you even alive?

Link: *Shrug* I just had to do something about that infernal screeching. And I had an extra fairy in a bottle.

ACZelda: Wait… *Facepalm* We did this dare before. We need to organize our list of dares a bit better. Ugh, forgive me for the many repeated and forgotten dares! Too late now, let's just leave it there. Okay, next up, we have ANOTHER Ganondorf dare, and one we actually haven't used yet! *Flips the trash can with the Cane of Pacci*

Mimi: *Tugs the trash can off of Ganondorf*

ACZelda: Get up, we have another singing dare to do! *Flips Ganondorf onto his head and hands him lyrics*

Ganondorf: Why must everyone make me sing…

Link: I agree, can't we have someone with an actually GOOD singing voice do these dares?

ACZelda: But then it's not as funny. Ganon. Do it.

Ganondorf: Ugh, fine.

"If you're happy and you know it clap your feet! *Claps feet*

If you're happy and you know it clap your feet! *Claps feet*

If you're happy and you know it and you really want to show it,

If you're happy and you know it clap your feet! *Claps feet*"

ACZelda: Great! Now the second verse!

Ganondorf: *Sigh* "If you're happy and you know it stomp your haaaaAAAAAAAH! *Tries and fails to stomp his hands and ends up falling back into the trash can*

ACZelda: I'm not sure how you managed to fail so much, but at least you're in the place you belong! Next dare!

Mimi: Wait, where's Leia? *Looks around* She disappeared all of a sudden!

ACZelda: She left to work on her own story. Meh, she'll be back.

Mimi: Btw, I feel better now so NEXT DARE!

ACZelda: Ganondorf, get up! Your singing dares aren't done yet!

Ganondorf: ...Another one? *Groan* *Rolls out of trash can*

ACZelda: Don't worry, at least you won't be alone this time! *Drags Link and Zelda over* But you'll also have to act it out. Here. *Hands lyrics to them*

Ganondorf: *Reading lyrics* Why. Why must you torture me.

ACZelda: *Dragging a bed over* Because this is a Dare Show. Duh. Also, we need five Ganondorfs, so… *Splits Ganondorf into his different reincarnations* Shoot, only four. Wind Waker, Ocarina of Time, Twilight Princess, and Hyrule Warriors. Well, no worries! We have plenty of Ganons to choose from. And… two more half canon Ganondorfs! Now, let's see… Smash Bros or that concept art for the Oracle games? What do you think, Mimi?

Mimi: How about… both?

ACZelda: But the lyrics say five, I say five, Smash Bros Ganondorf is basically Twilight Princess Ganondorf, and the concept art looks moderately hilarious, so… *Tears out a page from Hyrule Historia* I know exactly what to do! *Steals Yuga's staff and brings the concept art to life*

Four Ganondorfs: *Looking in horror*

Ganondorf: What even is that outfit?!

A different Ganondorf: Is that supposed to be ME?!

Another Ganondorf: I look like I'm on steroids!

Some other Ganondorf: What even are steroids?

Mimi: Something bad, that's all you need to know!

ACZelda: Also, the lyrics say "LITTLE Ganons," so… *Shrinks all the Ganondorfs*

Ganondorfs: *Squeaky voices* WHY AM I SO SHORT?! WHY ARE YOU SO LITERAL?! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO US?!

ACZelda: Because it's fun! Now go do your dare.

Mimi: Mwahahahaha!

Everyone involved: *Sigh* Fine…

Ganondorfs: *Climb onto the bed*

Everyone: *Singing* "Five little Ganons jumping on the bed!

One fell off and bonked his head!"

Ganondorf: OW! I hate this…

ACZelda: Shush!

Everyone else: "Zelda called her Linky and her Linky said,"

Link: No more Ganons jumping on the bed!

Ganondorf: Yay, it's over! I'll just go leave now-

ACZelda: Nope. *Drags him back over* You have to keep going until there's no one left!

Everyone involved: *Groan*

 _*A few minutes later*_

*All the Ganondorfs are face-down on the floor*

ACZelda: Okay, that's enough! *Merges the Ganondorfs back together and vanishes the bed*

Mimi: Next daaaaaaaare!

ACZelda: Woo!

Ganondorf: *Casually walking away*

ACZelda: *Drags him back over* Get back here, we're not done with you yet!

Mimi: *Snaps fingers* Now take care of this pest we found randomly in our super secret basement that I _totally_ knew we had!

*Green goo starts seeping from the floor*

Ganondorf: ...What exactly _is_ the pest?

Mimi: THE MOST TERRIBLE AND DEADLY LOZ PEST YOU'LL EVER FIND!

ACZelda: Beware, for it is the legendary… GREEN CHU CHU!

Mimi: NOW SUFFER! :)

Ganondorf: *Snorts* A chu chu? Do you really think that _I_ , the great King of Darkness, could be defeated by a-

ACZelda: Oh, you really thought there wouldn't be a catch? *Shrinks him to picori size*

Ganondorf: *In a squeaky voice* What?! WHAT?! Do I at least get a weapon?! Link, you killed this thing before, right? Tell me how to kill it!

Link: Haha, no.

Ganondorf: *High pitched screaming*

Chu Chu: *Plops down on top of him*

ACZelda: Well, that was over quickly. We should do something about that Chu Chu infestation in our super secret basement.

Mimi: I got this! LUUUUPUS!

Lupus: *Happily hops over to Mimi* Yeeeeeeees?

ACZelda: And this is what happens when an author writes two stories at once. Oh well. GO GET 'EM, LUPUS!

Mimi: Hey! Lupus hasn't even made an official appearance in any of my stories yet! He's like Roy in Smash!

ACZelda: Yeah, he must be bored. Well, that Chu Chu infestation is sure to keep him occupied! Thanks, Lupus!

Lupus: *Distant voice* YIPEEEEEEEEEE! TAKE THAT, YOU SLIMY CHU CHU!

ACZelda: *Digs Ganondorf out of the goo and tosses him into a random corner* Okay, moving on! *Digging through a very unorganized pile of dare cards. One falls out of ACZelda's hands.*

Mimi: *Picks up the card and turns pale* L-let's just throw this on in the done pile… *Moves towards shredder for already done dares*

ACZelda: Oh, come on. It can't be that-

Mimi: *Shows the card*

ACZelda: *Face pales* Well, at least this isn't the first time we had a dare like this… And I think he has a right to get revenge after everything we've done… And it's against the ancient and sacred laws of Dare Shows to skip anything intentionally...

Mimi: What laws? *Burning a very thick book in a bonfire*

ACZelda: We have over a thousand more copies in our library and in the libraries of every Dare Show ever.

Mimi: We had a library… -_-

ACZelda: We had a secret basement that none of us knew of until today. Deal with it.

Mimi: Good point. *sigh* Ok, Link, come over here.

ACZelda: You can use the best weapons you have to get revenge on us and there's nothing we can do to stop you.

Mimi: *Praying to Hylia*

Link: *Evil grin* Hey Teensie, do you mind if I borrow your weapons?

Mimi: Oh ****

ACZelda: *Reading from a gigantic book* "Rule #569: No uncensored swearing in Dare Shows below certain ratings." You know what? **** that ****, we're all going to ******* die today! **** **** **** **** **** ***** ****!

Link: AAAAAHAHAHAHAHA! IN YOUR FACE!

Mimi: YYYYYYYY!

ACZelda: *Curled up in a ball in a corner* Is it over yet?

 _*Some time later*_

*Everything is on fire and destroyed*

ACZelda: *Pops back up, fully healed* I lived, *****. Time to get revenge. *Drags Link by the ear over to our broom closet*

Link: OW OW OW I'M SORRY I'M SORRY THE DARE TOLD ME TO DO IT-

ACZelda: It didn't tell you to set the place _on fire_. Go clean up. All you need is in that broom closet. And yes Mimi, we have a broom closet underneath those stairs.

Mimi: HARRY POTTER!

ACZelda: Where do those stairs even lead? *Checks* Oh right, it's to our super secret attic with our super secret toxic bogs where our super secret bog dragon, plant monster, and snake warriors live.

Mimi: I am SO done with this place *Drops a mic*

ACZelda: What did you expect, it's a logic-breaking Dare Show here. None of us even knows where that super shady door at the end of our not very secret hallway leads. And what's up with that "only open when you're alone" sign on it?

Mimi: Uhhhhhhh, Stranger Things? I dunno, I've only watched like the first 2-3 episodes.

ACZelda: Nah, I don't think my obsession with it is strong enough to affect this place. *Demogorgon screeching from our super secret alternate dimension portal room*

Mimi: LUPUS! I HAVE ANOTHER JOB FOR YOUUUUUUU! *Lupus dashes towards the room* Huh, didn't even have to tell him.

ACZelda: Smart puppy. Okay, let's get back to work! Hey Link, are you done cleaning yet?

Link: *Shouting from our super secret laundry room* No! This place is way too large!

ACZelda: Give your broom to Ganondorf, we have dares for you!

Link: *Groans* Fine, at least he'll get to suffer too. *Walks back into the not secret at all main room*

ACZelda: Don't worry, it's just a very short Valentine's Day special that I'm randomly throwing into this chapter to make up for my procrastination and missing way too many holidays. Date dares, woo!

Link: Oh, that's not too bad. Who am I with?

ACZelda: *Drags Zelda, Cia, and Ganondorf over* Well, the dare says that you should go with Zelda and Ganondorf should go with Cia, but it's time to break Rule #394: "No modifying dares without a legitimate excuse"

Mimi: How many rules are there?! :/

ACZelda: Oh, only 1,000. Most of them are very minor or nonsensical gibberish, though.

Link: Oh, no. I can kind of see where this dare modification is going.

Mimi: Mwahahahaha!

ACZelda: *Shoves Cia towards Link*

Cia: *Squealing with delight*

Link: *Groaning with despair*

Mimi: I dub thee, ship and shipped!

 _*Some time later*_

Link and Zelda: *Storm through the door* _OUR DATES WERE TERRIBLE!_

Ganondorf and Cia: *Sigh* Our dates were wonderful!

ACZelda: Woah, Ganondorf, since when did you have a thing for Zelda?

Ganondorf: Actually, I just used the date as an excuse to capture her again. *Shrug*

ACZelda: *Facepalm*

Mimi: Isn't that Bowser's job?

Ganondorf: Who's that?

ACZelda: *Facepalms again* Let's just move on. Link! You have a date with Paya!

Link: Whew, I was expecting something MUCH worse.

Paya: *Blushes and smiles with pure joy*

Mimi: Awwwww

Zelda: *Glowers at Paya*

ACZelda: Ha, you really thought we'd let you have a decently fun dare? "Rule #10: Everyone must suffer." In fact, that rule is so important that it's repeated multiple times! *Flipping through book* #49: "Everyone must be in physical and emotional pain," #93: "Everyone must be in a perpetual state of agony," #178: "No one should ever be happy," you get the idea. Be thankful that rule #1,000 is "Breaking rules is acceptable, as long as you don't do it too much."

Mimi: Well, have fun! *Shoves them both into a pit with a sign saying "Dating Dares"*

Link: *Lands in a comfy chair in a super fancy restaurant with nothing but his Shrine of Resurrection outfit on* My clothes!

Paya: *Lands on a chair the opposite side of Link* KYAAAAAA! *Insert super stereotypical anime girl scream* M-Master Link! This isn't dignified for the Hero of Hyrule! Please cover yourself! *Covering face with hands and blushing furiously*

Link: *Blushing* I'm sorry! I'm sorry! This must be the catch ACZelda was talking about! *Desperately trying to cover himself with those fancy restaurant cloth napkins*

*Back in the main room*

ACZelda: Ah, yes. The pure chaos that erupts.

Mimi: That wasn't much chaos to be honest with ya... :/

ACZelda: Eh, it'll get worse eventually. Maybe. Let's just hope that they'll be back soon, we're not done with Link dates yet.

 _*Later…*_

Link and Paya: *Walk in, both blushing furiously*

Link: May I please have my clothes back?

Mimi: Yes? No? I dunno. ACZelda, does the next dare require Link to have more clothing on?

ACZelda: Nah, but might as well be slightly less evil than usual for a bit. *Tosses over the green tunic to Link and a dare card to Mimi*

Mimi: Ok, Link. Zelda. You guys' turn.

ACZelda: Our mini, late Valentine's Day special randomly tossed in the middle of the chapter is not over yet! *Shoves Link and Zelda together*

Mimi: And don't forget this! *Tosses two glasses of a perfectly normal drink towards them*

Link: ...What is this?

ACZelda: Lon Lon Milk. Nothing odd about it. Nothing mixed in or anything. Especially not any love potio-

Mimi: *Elbows ACZelda in the ribs*

ACZelda: OW! Okay, Mimi. Link, Zelda, just go do your dare.

Link: Suuuuuuuuuuuure. *'accidentally' spills the potion* Whoops.

ACZelda: Hey, you do realize that this is a Valentine's Day Special, right? I still have a lot of chocolate left over from the last special. We could easily force you to consume something less… desirable. *Casually hides a mountain of poison-infused chocolate*

Mimi: Don't worry my friend. I already have plan B set up.

*Link and Zelda are sitting in a fancy restaurant eating pasta*

ACZelda: Haha, yes. Our top secret fancy restaurant room proves it's worth once more!

Mimi: *rubbing hands together evilly*

*In the restaurant*

Zelda: Something's not right here... Link. Don't you dare eat tha- Too late.

Link: *Already done with the pasta* Did you say something?

Zelda: *Facepalm and sigh*

*Back in the main room*

Mimi: Yes, all that apple eating in BotW has paid off. He can literally inhale food! XD

ACZelda: I bet he's always been like that.

*Back in the restaurant*

Zelda: Please tell me the food didn't have any poison in it.

Link: Well, I feel fine- *Suddenly gasps and stares at Zelda dreamily* D-did I mention how beautiful you look today?

Zelda: Link no stop right there

Link: Well, you're as-

Zelda: Link. Stop. I love you and all, but I do not like where this is going.

Mimi: *Randomly pops head through a portal* But I do! Now kiss!

Link: Ah, how I've dreamed of this moment!

Zelda: *Slowly backing away* Mimi please save me

Link: You are my light, Zelda. As I was Hyrule's hope, you were my hope to continue through any hardships.

Zelda: Link stop I don't want to know what the potion will do

Mimi: The Dare Show is rated T, Zelda. It won't be _that_ bad.

Zelda: ACZelda showed me the LoZ cartoon. I do not want things to go there.

Link: Kiss me, princess!

Zelda: *Backing away from Link*

Mimi: Yes! Kiss!

*Link and Zelda kiss, and the potion wears off*

Link: ...What just happened?

Zelda: Oh thank the goddess Hylia that it ended before things got too bad.

ACZelda: *Drags them back into the main room* And that concludes our random Valentine's Day special.

Mimi: Yaaaaay *Jazz hands*

ACZelda: But it doesn't conclude our chapter! *Stuffs everyone in the screening room*

Ganondorf: *Having PTSD*

Midna: *picks up a controller from the ground* What is this? *Presses a button*

Nayru: NODON'TDOTHA-

*Screen lights up to show the menu screen for the CD-I games*

Mimi: *On a speaker* You guys can't come out till you finish playing!

Link: Okay, it's just a game. It can't possibly be _THAT_ bad.

*Starts the game*

 _*Three hours later...*_

Everyone: *dead*

Mimi: *with sarcasm* Oh no! What shall we ever do ACZelda? They have all died? Now how are we going to give them dares?

ACZelda: Shame on them. If I can survive watching the Zelda Cartoon, they can survive a little playthrough of the cringiest games ever created. *Revives them*

Link: I'M ALIIIIIIVE!

Ganondorf: I think that was worse that WW Link stabbing me in the forehead!

ACZelda: Oh, our readers will soon come up with worse.

Mimi: Mwahahahahaha…

ACZelda: *Flipping through a very disorganized pile of dare cards* *Pulls one out* Aha! I don't think we used this one. Have we? Oh, well. It won't hurt to accidentally repeat yet another dare.

Mimi: Ugh, be more organized next time -_-

ACZelda: I am! Have you seen our 2018 pile?

*Sparkling tiny pile of Dare Cards*

Mimi: I didn't think we had any...

ACZelda: We got 3 of them back in February. And those 3 dares shall be perfectly stacked for our next chapter!

Mimi: Ok, good for you.

ACZelda: This really shows how late we are with this chapter. ANYway, dares! *Drags Link over and opens up a portal to the Fire Temple*

Link: Wait, you still haven't given me my stuff back!

ACZelda: That's the point. Take this! *Tosses him a hidden blade from Assassin's Creed*

Link: ...A gauntlet? How will this help me kill monsters? It doesn't seem like one of those strength gauntlets I had…

ACZelda: You'll figure it out. *Starts shoving Link towards the portal*

Link: Wait, do I at least get a bomb bag and the hammer? I don't think I can solve the temple without those...

ACZelda: You'll figure it out. *Pushes him in*

*Portal closes*

ACZelda: Well, while we wait for him to figure it out, let's do one more fire-related dare! The Imprisoned has to burn in hell. But how about we just toss him into Death Mountain instead?

Mimi: Yes!

ACZelda: *Summons Death Mountain*

Mimi: Bye Bye! *shove, then screams of rage for no reason* SUFFER!

ACZelda: Oh *beep* she snapped.

Mimi: *Continues to them push everyone else*

ACZelda: Mimi that wasn't in the dare what are you doing

Mimi: I DON'T CARE ANYMORE! *Tears*

ACZelda: Oh no, a fictional character must have died. *Slowly backs away from Mimi* Please don't hurt me there's nothing I can do for your fandoms.

Mimi: YES, HE DIED BACK IN LIKE SEASON 5! I WANT HIM BACK! *Continues to cry*

ACZelda: *Casually starts pushing Mimi away from Death Mountain* Okay, how about we stay on topic and you go cry in that "Oh no someone fictional I loved died" corner!

Mimi: Nu! *Grabs dare cards and blows nose. Hands them back to ACZelda* Ok, I'm better!

ACZelda: *Holding the card an arm's length away* Well, I don't think this one can be read any more. *Tosses it over her shoulder and pulls out a new card*

Mimi: Is the cast dead again? Oh no. MORE CHARACTER DEATH! *eyes start to water*

ACZelda: WaitnocalmdownIcanfixthis *Brings everyone back to life*

Mimi: Linky-Pooh! *Hugs Link*

Link: *Trying to escape* Why is my murderer hugging me?

ACZelda: It's called a mental breakdown.

Link: Please help

ACZelda: No. Next dare!

Mimi: Dares!

ACZelda: DARES!

Mimi: *Throws Link a machine gun* Make sure you act responsibly with this.

Link: *Aiming the gun at himself* What is this strange object?

Mimi: I am so glad I know where the safety thingy is on the gun.

ACZelda: Link, no, you're supposed to hold it like this: *Makes him aim the gun at Tingle* Now you press this thingy here...

Link: Ok… *Pulls the trigger and hits Tingle*

Tingle: *Perfectly unharmed but suddenly in his underwear*

Mimi: Boi, I thought that only happened in Fire Emblem.

ACZelda: Since when did they make raider machine guns?

Mimi: I dunno.

ACZelda: *Casually shoves Link into a random room* You stay there, have fun, and don't cause chaos in the main room. *Slams door* And there's definitely not a cucco in there that he might accidentally shoot!

Mimi: *rolls eyes*

ACZelda: Anyway, the next dare is for all magic-using villains! They have to play ping pong. There are a LOT of magic-users in LoZ, so I'll narrow it down to only those who used Dead Man's Volley against Link! So that means Agahnim, Agahnim's Shadow, Ganondorf, Phantom Ganon, Vaati, Puppet Zelda, the Cubus Sisters, Ghirahim, Bilocyte, YuGanon, Lady Maud, Twinrova (From the Oracle games), Blue Stalfos (You know, the Oracle of Ages boss?), and Gouen (That guy from four Swords). Heck, that's a lot! Did I miss anyone? We're going to need a LOT of ping pong paddles. Anyway, our first match is Ganondorf and Phantom Ganon! *Shoves them to the table*

Phantom Ganon: *Takes one look at his paddle, drops it, and pulls out his sword*

Ganondorf: *Takes one look at the ball, drops it, and creates a ball of deadly magic* Bring it on.

ACZelda: I don't think that's how it's supposed to work… Oh well, more fun this way! To make it quicker, the first to five points wins! Ready? Set… START THE EPIC BATTLE!

Ganondorf: *Serves the ball*

Ball: *Poink*

Phantom Ganon: *Hits it back, cutting his side of the table in half*

Ball: *Poink*

ACZelda: Hey, I paid an entire $0 for that table! It's expensive!

Mimi: Pffft! Yes, having nothing is very hard. Well, I mean it's true. Like if you didn't have anything that means no air. Which means you can't breath. No earth. Which means you go into space….*mumbles*.

ACZelda: Yes yes, very informative! Back to the dare!

Ganondorf: HAH, I created you, Phantom! A pitiful shadow like yourself has no chance against ME!

 _*Some time later*_

ACZelda: GAME! The winner is Phantom Ganon with a score of 5-0! Congratulations!

Ganondorf: *Curled up on the floor* WHY? HOW?

Link: Phantom has more practice.

Mimi: *in background* Wait how?

ACZelda: He got an entire three game's and five battle's worth of ping pong! Anyway, next up, Agahnim and Agahnim's Shadow! But to make things a little more interesting… *Hands Agahnim a shovel and Shadow a bug net* Let the fight to the death begin.

Mimi: Uhhhhh… ACZelda… wouldn't the bug net just catch the ball… I mean the shovel makes a lovely paddle, but a bug net!?

ACZelda: Ask Link, he's the one who beat Agahnim with it!

Mimi: *stuttering* I-i… j-just… ehh... that's not the point! Beating someone with a bug net is different from beating a ping pong ball with a bug net!

ACZelda: He'll figure it out! And no magic this time, Agahnims!

 _*An epic match of ping pong later…*_

ACZelda: He didn't figure it out. With a score of 5-0, Shadow wins!

Agahnim: ARGH, THIS MATCH WAS RIGGED! *Throws down a net with five ping pong balls trapped inside*

ACZelda: Nightmare boi over there had a giant, heavy shovel. I'd say it was pretty fair, that thing must be hard to hold!

Agahnim: But-

ACZelda: Next up, we have a team match! Cubus Sister and Cubus Sister against Cubus Sister and Cubus Sister! Ready? Set… go!

 _*One ping pong match full of screeching later…*_

ACZelda: And with a score of 5-4, Cubus Sister and Cubus Sister win! Congrats. *Shoves Twinrova towards the table* You two are next! And why use paddles when you have brooms?

Koume: No, my precious broom! *Hugs her broom*

ACZelda: Oh, and this will be a magic match.

Kotake: NO, MY PRECIOUS BROOM! *Hugs her broom tightly*

ACZelda: Have fun!

 _*One ping pong match, lots of shrieking, and two completely destroyed brooms later…*_

ACZelda: *Tweets a whistle* Game! Another score of 5-4 makes Koume the champion!

Kotake: My precious broom… burnt to ash!

Koume: My precious broom… frozen to a popsicle!

ACZelda: *Throws a vacuum cleaner and a swiffer at them* Problem solved! Bilocyte and Vaati's Wrath, you're up!

Bilocyte: *Annoyed parasite noises*

ACZelda: Yes yes, I know you can't hit the ball back. But neither can Vaati!

Bilocyte: *Angry parasite noises*

ACZelda: Yeah yeah, I know he has arms. But I can fix that! *Cane of Paccis his arms into the ground*

Bilocyte: *Confused parasite noises*

ACZelda: You guys will figure something out! *Tweets whistle* GO!

*Vaati's Wrath and Bilocyte struggle to pick up the paddle*

 _*Some time later in the middle of the match…*_

ACZelda: No, don't just DODGE the ball, Bilocyte! Hit it back! Vaati, stop letting the ball just hit you!

Vaati's Wrath: *Flopping around, trying to hit the ball with his head* *Frustrated demon wind mage noises*

Bilocyte: *Realizes that he can hit the ball with his head fans* *Happy parasite noises*

 _*Much more time later*_

ACZelda: And we have a winner! 5-2 and Bilocyte wins!

Bilocyte: *Head fans have five dents and a few holes* *Pained but victorious parasite noises*

Mimi: *Hears parasite noise* IS THAT A COckrOAch!? *Blindly hits everything with an electric fly swatter*

Bilocyte: *Now has electrocuted, burnt, and smoking frills*

ACZelda: *Hands Mimi an electric candle lighter* Use this instead, it's better!

Mimi: I play tennis, a racket shape is easier to handle.

ACZelda: But it's an electric candle lighter! *Turns it on* *Insert electricity noises* Anyway, there are two matches left, so let's get to those! Blue Stalfos and Gouen, it's your turn! This will be a battle with magic, not ping pong balls.

Gouen: *Spits a fire ball*

Blue Stalfos: *Gets hit and turns into a skull keese*

ACZelda: This is going to be one long match.

Blue Stalfos: *Flap flap*

Blue Stalfos: *Flap flap*

Blue Stalfos: *Flap flap*

Blue Stalfos: *Finally goes back to normal and hits a ball of magic*

Gouen: *Gets hit and splits into a bunch of tiny flames*

ACZelda: A very long match, indeed! *Eats popcorn*

 _*A long time later…*_

ACZelda: Game over! The winner is…

Gouen: *Dead*

Blue Stalfos: *Dead*

ACZelda: ...No one due to technical difficulties!

Mimi: Rip...

ACZelda: Oh well, Link already killed them anyway. Being a dungeon boss must be annoying! Our final match will be a team battle: Yuga Ganon and Puppet Zelda against Lady Maud and Ghirahim! For our grand finale, I won't be doing any time skips. I'll write out every last detail! Let the game begin!

Puppet Zelda: *Serves ball*

Ball: *Clack* *Poink* *Bounce* *Poink*

Lady Maud: *Hits ball*

Ball: *Clack* *Poink* *Bounce* *Poink*

YuGanon: *Slashes the ball in half with his sword*

Ball: *Plop* *Plop*

ACZelda: ...I don't think the rules of ping pong mention swords… *Research* *Research* *Research* Aaand it's a let!

Mimi: Poor ball…

ACZelda: Poor ball indeed. I only have an infinite supply of these, so stop breaking my few remaining balls!

Puppet Zelda: *Serves*

Ball: *Clack* *Poink* *Bounce* *Poink*

Lady Maud: *Hits it with a parasol*

Ball: *Fwap* *Poink* *Bounce* *Poink*

ACZelda: ...Where did all of your paddles go?

YuGanon: *Misses*

Ball: *Hits the floor* *POINK* *POInk* *Poink* *poink* _*poink*_ *Roll*

YuGanon: *Smashes the table into dust*

ACZelda: Rude. *Fixes it* The score is 1-0, team Fab in the lead!

Ghirahim: I haven't hit the ball even once. _StOp DiStUrBiNg My FaBuLoUsNeSs!_

Mimi: Is that even a word?

ACZelda: *Research* "Fabulousness: Of the nature of a fable or myth; legendary. b. Told of or celebrated in fables or legends." That… is not what I expected.

YuGanon: *ROAR*

ACZelda: Team Possessed-by-Ganon, please serve the ball!

Puppet Zelda: *Serves*

Ball: *Clack* *Poink* *Bounce* *Poink*

Lady Maud: *Hits*

Ball: *Fwap* *Poink* *Bounce* *Poink*

YuGanon: *Spikes the ball*

Ball: * **CLACK** * * **POINK** *

Ghirahim: *Ball flies past him faster than he can react*

ACZelda: Point for Team Possessed-by-Ganon! 1-1!

Ghirahim: *Gasp* Do you have any idea how this makes me feel inside? Furious! Outraged! Sick with anger! *Throws a knife at YuGanon*

YuGanon: *Expertly hits it back*

Lady Maud: *Whacks it with the hard end of her parasol*

Puppet Zelda: *Fails to hit it back because her rapier is way too thin and gets stabbed by Ghira's knife instead*

ACZelda: There were so many things wrong with this that I don't even know how to score it! I'll just give that point to Team Fab. Current score: 2-1!

Ghirahim: *Happy Ghira noises* This fills my heart with rainbows!

ACZelda: I'm just going to let Puppet Zelda serve for the entire match. Enough ping pong rules have been broken and twisted already, so might as well ignore proper serving order as well! I no longer trust Ghira or Yuga with serving.

Puppet Zelda: *Still has Ghira's knife stuck in her hand* *Tries to serve the ball*

Ball: *Plock* *Poink* *poink…* *Roll…* _*fwap*_

ACZelda: And it rolled into the net! Point for Team Fab, 3-1! What happened, Zel- *Notices the knife* Oh. It's a little hard to serve with a knife in your hand! *Heals*

Puppet Zelda: *Properly serves*

Ball: *Clack* *Poink* *Bounce* *Poink*

Lady Maud: *Hits*

Ball: *Fwap* *Poink* *Bounce* Poink*

YuGanon: *Hits*

Ball: *CLACK* *Poink* *Bounce* *Poink*

Ghirahim: *Hits*

Ball: *Clack* *Sparkle* *Poink* *Bounce* *Poink*

ACZelda: *Yawn of boredom*

Puppet Zelda: *Hits*

Ball: *Clack* *Poink* *Bounce* *Poink*

Lady Maud: *Hits*

Ball: *Fwap* *Poink* *Bounce* Poink*

YuGanon: *Hits*

Ball: *CLACK* *Poink* *Bounce* *Poink*

Ghirahim: *Hits*

Ball: *Clack* *Sparkle* *Poink* *Bounce* *Poink*

ACZelda: *Yawn intensifies*

Puppet Zelda: *Hits*

Ball: *Clack* *Poink* *Bounce* *Poink*

Lady Maud: *Hits*

Ball: *Fwap* *Poink* *Bounce* Poink*

YuGanon: *Hits*

Ball: *CLACK* *Poink* *Bounce* *Poink*

Ghirahim: *Hits*

Ball: *Clack* *Sparkle* *Poink* *Bounce* *Poi-*

ACZelda: AAAH, END THE REPETITIVENESS! *Slams onto table* Let's get this over quickly. *Hands Zelda five balls* Play with all of them at once.

Puppet Zelda: But… how?

ACZelda: Haven't I said this enough today? Figure. It. Out.

Puppet Zelda: *Serves*

*One ball rolls into the net*

ACZelda: 3-1, Team Fab!

Ghirahim: *SCREECH* *Flails around* *Hits two out of four balls*

ACZelda: 3-3, even! That should have gone to Maud, but the rules have been fudgesicled with enough already. Screw the rules, welcome to Chaos Pong!

YuGanon: *Expertly hits both balls back*

ACZelda: Huh, from what I saw of your final boss fight with Link, I didn't think you could handle that!

Lady Maud: *Opens her parasol and deflects them back*

Balls: *Just barely bounce over the net*

Puppet Zelda: *Desperately slides onto the table and hits one of the balls back*

ACZelda: 4-3, Team Fab!

Ghirahim: *Fabulously hits the ball*

YuGanon: *Blinded by the fabulousness but succeeds in hitting the ball back*

Lady Maud: *Deflects the ball with her open parasol*

Ball: *Fwop*

Everyone: *Holds breath*

Ball: *Poink*

Everyone: *In complete silence*

Ball: *Approaches net*

Everyone: *Leans forward*

Ball: *Juuuust about to go over the net*

Everyone: *Stares intently*

Ball: *Plop.*

Ball: *Slightly rolls back in Lady Maud's direction*

Everyone: IT DIDN'T GO OVER, AAAAAH!

ACZelda: AND THE SCORE IS TIED AT 4-4! Only one way now to determine the winner.

Ghirahim: Giving us another ball?

ACZelda: Well, OBVIOUSLY…

Puppet Zelda: *Holds out her hand for the ball*

ACZelda: ...not. Haha, what a ridiculous way to settle a tie in ping pong! Nah, I'm just going to open up a pit of lava under your feet. Whoever burns first is the loser! *Snaps fingers*

*Lava pit opens up*

Puppet Zelda: *Flies up*

Ghirahim: *Teleports out*

Lady Maud: *Slows her fall with her parasol*

YuGanon: *Too far from the walls to turn into a painting* THIS IS NOT FAIR, I AM A GOD- *Splash.*

ACZelda: TEAM FAB IS THE CHAMPION!

*Enraged screeching, joyful shouting, and loud crashing in the background*

Link: Is something burning?

ACZelda: It's probably just the lava.

Link: ...I hope that's not blood over there.

ACZelda: It's probably just ketchup from our top secret hotdog stand, don't worry.

*Chaos continues to erupt in the background*

ACZelda: Whelp, time to move on to the next dare! *Flipping through a pile of Dare Cards* Done that… *Toss* Done that… *Toss* Did we do that already? I think so… might have been in an unpublished chapter… Oh well. *Toss*

Mimi: Oh man! We done!?

ACZelda: Nah, look at this huge pile of ca- *Only has one card in hand* 0.0 Oh! Let me check this card… Heck, we did that back in Chapter 2! Mimi. We're done. WE'RE DONE! *Grabs Mimi by the shoulders and shakes her* WE CAN FINALLY UPLOAAAAD!

Fourth Wall: *Falls apart*

Mimi: Dude, the wall ******* broke. aGAiN!

ACZelda: HECK YEAAAAAAAH I'M TOO EXCITED TO CAAAARE! See you next chapter, everyone! *Jumps out the wall*

 _ **Bonus Section**_

* * *

ACZelda: *Pops back up into the bonus section room* Oh right, before I go, enjoy this VERY long bonus section! It includes "bloopers," a short, partially-completed bonus chapter, and more! Enjoy!

 **Author's Comments**

* * *

ACZelda: Behold, the return of the Blooper's section, but with a new, more fitting name!

 **At "Mimi: B-but, but! *Eye twitch and starts to cuddle Porg since she just watched The Last Jedi twice, then opens phone and stars playing Star Wars interview*"**

Mimi: I'm not kidding, I actually did watch it twice. Once with my friends, then with my cousin.

ACZelda: Me too, and I'm going to watch it for the third time. First with Mimi, IALink, and a few others, a second time with my sister, and again with another friend!

Leia: I saw the midnight showing… No one wanted to come…

 **Mimi: Hey! Lupus hasn't even made an official appearance in any of my stories yet! He's like Roy in Smash!**

ACZelda: Not anymore! Smash Ultimate, Woohoo! ...I'm taking way too long to publish this chapter…

 **ACZelda: *Casually shoves Link into a random room* You stay there, have fun, and don't cause chaos in the main room. *Slams door* And there's definitely not a cucco in there that he might accidentally shoot!**

ACZelda: This was the point where we stopped writing since the beginning of March and only returned near the end of June! Hahaha… I have a problem.

 **Koume: My precious broom… frozen to a popsicle!**

ACZelda: The only two things I could think of were "frozen to ice" and "frozen to a popsicle!"

 **Ghirahim: *Happy Ghira noises* This fills my heart with rainbows!**

ACZelda: My favorite part about this? It's a legitimate quote from Skyward Sword! "[It] has simply filled my heart with rainbows!" Oh, how I love SS and Ghira!

 **At "Link: *Plops down on floor* I'm so dead." (From the bonus chapter below)**

ACZelda: High school life in a nutshell!

* * *

 **Chapter Title Ideas**

* * *

We Had a Basement?!

We're Not Dead Yet!

We're Back.

We Literally Have no Excuses (Well, We Do)

We Have Returned

Secret Rooms Everywhere

Why Did We Even Have a Chapter Title Idea Section in our Bonus Section

ACZelda Makes Chapter Titles too Long

ACZelda and Mimi go Crazy With Their Chapter Title Ideas

This Isn't Even a Chapter Title Idea Section Anymore

There Are Way Too Many Horizontal Lines in the Bonus Section

Well, it Took us Months to Get This Out

Probably Almost a Year by Now

It Records our Progress

Yay, Look at all Those Repeated and Forgotten Dares

Half of These Won't Even Fit in the Chapter Title

Ok, Let's Get Back to Work

Yeah

* * *

 **Bonus Chapter**

* * *

ACZelda: Sometime around Christmas, we started writing a normal chapter. We ended up scrapping it and writing something new, but it would be a waste to just delete it! Instead, I'll just publish it here. I've left everything exactly the way it was originally written, including the AN. I'm not even going to proofread it! Enjoy!

Author's Note

* * *

ACZelda: WELCOME BACK! It's been a while, so I have a lot of news for you guys. First of all, Dare Show news!

Because of our long absence, a lot of special chapters have been left unwritten. So we'll only write the Halloween and Thanksgiving specials if we manage to have some free time later. Maybe we can write a mini chapter for them… But don't get your hopes up. Sorry about that. Anyway, that's enough bad news! Let's look forward to the future now: Christmas and New Year specials! I have a plan for the Christmas Special, so hopefully you'll get to read it in time! Unless we're too busy with New Years. We have quite a treat in store for you with that chapter!

And now, other LoZ news that you'll likely already know by the time we publish this, but might as well add it in anyway.

Symphony of the Goddesses

Breath of the Wild DLC 2

Game of the Year awards

I think this is a good moment for all LoZ fans across the world to let out a collective cheer of happiness. And that's all I have to say! As a transition from our long absence back into the story and all the specials we have planned, here's the usual chapter! Enjoy!

* * *

ACZelda: *Dashes in wearing a marching band uniform* WE'RE LATE! *Tosses flute aside*

Mimi: YES WE ARE! *Also tosses flute aside then catches it before it hits anything* MY PRECIOUS!

ACZelda: Hey, what happened here? *Looking around*

*Every surface is coated in layers of dust. Countless cobwebs hang like curtains over the walls and skulltulla scurry around on the ground. A small mountain of papers cover one corner with a cracked, faded sign above it reading "Graveyard of unused ideas"*

Mimi: Well, this is… depressing. Where are all of the cast members?

?: FINALLY! You're back!

Mimi: Who's that?!

?: BUT YOU'RE TOO LATE! WE HAVE TAKEN OVER THE BUILDING

ACZelda: WHAT? BUT WE BOUGHT THIS PLACE 'LEGALLY'! ...If creating a place with only a pencil and a mind counts as buying it legally...

Mimi: SHOW YOURSELF!

*Cloaked person comes out with jagged blade powered with electricity. He snaps his fingers and another section of the building is lit up*

ACZelda: Wait, you're… OH, COME ON! Why must other fandoms keep taking over!

Robin: YES! I've helped your fellow Zelda members Tip the Scales and Join SMASH!

ACZelda: ...

Mimi: Wait, not the world of Awakening?

ACZelda: ...  
*She grabs a red pen and walks over to a sign over the door. The sign read "Welcome to the Legend of Zelda Dare Show!" Then, she crosses out the words "Legend of Zelda" and replaces it with "Randomness"*

Mimi: Eh, Robin, get outta here! Maybe I might write a story about your world one day. *Snaps fingers and Smash setting/characters leave, Zelda characters back on stage*

Link: _ALMOST FOUR MONTHS._ WE HAVE BEEN UNDER THAT CREEP'S CONTROL FOR _FOUR. WHOLE. MONTHS._ WHERE WERE YOU GUYS?!

Mimi: It was Smash, how bad could it have gotten?

Link: I got RUN OVER by a blue hedgehog. ZAPPED by electricity from a yellow mouse rabbit thing. HIT IN THE BUTT BY AN ARROW FROM TOON LINK, THAT LITTLE TRAITOR! I GOT BLOWN OFF OF THE STAGE FROM BOMBS! I BURNED MY CLOTHES MULTIPLE TIMES BECAUSE OF THAT ITALIAN PLUMBER AND SOME SHORT KID! FOUGHT TWO BLUE-HAIRED SWORDSMEN OF OPPOSITE GENDER AT ONCE! EVEN AN ANGEL WAS AGAINST ME!

Zelda: At least we all got to team up against Ganondorf!

Link: OH YEAH, AND THEN THERE WAS EVEN AN EIGHT-PLAYER SMASH WHERE ALL OUR BUTTS WERE KICKED BY A HALF-DRAGON HYBRID!

Zelda: Link, calm down.

Link: I WILL NOT! ALSO, THE MOST DELICIOUS CURRY I HAVE EVER EATEN WAS CURSED! I WAS BREATHING FIRE LIKE VOLVAGIA! AND THAT CREEPY GUY WOULD NOT STOP TIPPING THE SCALES!

** AN: There's a little contest going on. We'll talk more about it after the chapter ends.

Zelda: Link, _calm down_.

Mimi: Would you like me to send you there again? I could if I wanted to.

Link: *Stops yelling* I'm calm now. Very calm. Please do not send me back.

Mimi: Good… NOW ONTO THE DARES! :)

ACZelda: YAY, ONWARD!

Link: *Plops down on floor* I'm so dead.

ACZelda: Don't worry, Link. The next dare is for-

Mimi: GANONDORF! GET YOUR BUTT OVER BY THIS TOTALLY-NOT-A-TRAP HOLE IN THE GROUND!

Ganondorf: ...I'll just stay over he- *Dragged by author powers*

ACZelda: *Shoves him in* Have fun!

Ganondorf: Why is it so dark down here?

Mimi: Cause it's the hole I always dig deeper with every regret and action I take in my life! Orrrr it's just dark because I never pushed this button! *Pressed red button*

*Hole is lit up with Nyan cats dancing everywhere*

*NYA NYA NYA NYA NYA NYA NYA NYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA*

Ganondorf: GET ME OUT OF HERE!

Mimi: Too bad… not for 10 hours!

 _*10 hours later...*_

Ganondorf: I don't think I can talk normally now… nya

Link: Omh, did Ganondorf just say nya?!

Ganondorf: Ack! This song has infected me! Nya, NYA!

Mimi: This is too good to be true!

ACZelda: This is hilarious! The great King of Evil, defeated by a pop-tart kitten!

Ganondorf: Save me… Nya...

ACZelda: Nope! We have more dares to do!

Mimi: Oh yes we do!

ACZelda: Next up, we have an outfit-swapping dare, just in time for Ballad of the Champion's release! Well, we already did part of it, but why not do it again? *Author powers*

ACZelda: *Wearing Zelda's royal clothing* Yess, I missed this outfit. It's surprisingly comfortable!

Zelda: *Wearing her traveling outfit* Wow, this is so much easier to move in than my dress!

Link: *Wearing Tunic of the Wild* This… isn't much different than my usual clothing… Why can't I get something more unique like Zelda?

ACZelda: Yeah, you're right. It's still pretty cool, though!

*Distant rumbling*

ACZelda: Is that..?

Mimi: Hey, random question. Did The Last Jedi come out yet?

ACZelda: Oh nO YoU ShOuld NoT HaVe DonE tHat ShE Is COmI-

Leia: *Unholy screeching* *Bursts into room in full merch. She's wearing full navy blue and silver bounty hunter armor with a matching helmet* IT'S HERE I'VE BEEN WAITING SINCE FEBRUARY *Tackles Mimi and ACZelda* *Randomly fires laser gun* *Stuns Link*

Mimi: HOLY-#&%(*#&)%*#&*(%

*We interrupt this broadcast with the cast freaking out*

*Mimi and ACZelda both have ice packs on head. Leia is literally bouncing off the walls. Rest of the cast lying on the ground*

Leia: I sAw ThE lAsT jeDi

Mimi: Sigh, I still haven't. ACZelda and I might go see it this week after Finals

Leia: I saw it instead of studying! Between that and selling my soul, I consider myself a pretty good role model! *Shoots the ceiling and it falls on multiple cast members* *Pulls out a flask full of 'iced tea' and chugs it*

ACZelda: Yes, you truly are an amazing role model. Are you sure that's even iced tea?

Leia: What else would it be?

ACZelda: ...Nothing. Definitely nothing suspicious at all.

Leia: *Looks into the camera like shes on the office and winks* So, dares?

Mimi: WOOOOHOO!

Leia: I'll take that as a yes?

Mimi: YEEESSSS

ACZelda: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES

Leia: I'm not so sure this is a good thing...

Cast: No.

Leia: Alright I'm sold you drive a hard bargain but I'm down.

*Magical Letter comes flying down*

Leia: Oh, pretty! *Snatches it*

* * *

ACZelda: And that's it! I hope you liked today's chapter! Happy Return of the LoZ Dare Show, everyone!


End file.
